Child of the Heart
by wordsmithraven
Summary: When Iris Rouse's warlock trafficking ring was taken down and Madzie was rescued from Valentine's clutches, Magnus was faced with a difficult choice. What to do with a girl with so much hurt and so much fear, yet with so much power at her beck and call? Magnus must come to a decision soon but whatever his choice, it would affect three lives in ways he could not anticipate.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So…I was in the middle of writing a Shadowhunters one-shot fic continuing the 207 Malec scene that features some heavy Magnus flashbacks and I got to a difficult spot and stopped to take a look at tumblr ( .com fyi). Then I got pissed at all those people getting on fans for daring to think Madzie could possibly be adopted by Magnus (and Alec) even though it's clearly just a fun fandom idea so people should chill out like we already know it's not gonna happen in the show holy shit. Then I got a bug to write a plausible scenario of Magnus adopting Madzie so…I went ahead and wrote the first half of a two-shot. It's not Beta'd so…

I'm slowly getting a grip on what I feel is Magnus' internal voice but it's a process. Obviously, since this is a Madzie and Magnus centered story, it does take place in the show universe as that is my favorite iteration of this story. However, I'm pulling from both the books and show and straight up disregarding both so it's probably not canon compliant to ANYTHING.

PS. I'm old enough to remember and want to write an ownership disclaimer but I'm resisting because we as a people have moved beyond such petty lawsuits, haven't we?

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Chapter 1

It was late evening in the fall and Magnus shivered. A wind had picked up and blown through his open balcony doors, wrapping cold fingers around his entire body. Madzie made a high pitched whine in her sleep and curled deeper into his chest at the chill. A snap of Magnus' fingers and an undulating wave softly closed the balcony doors before the wind did any more damage to Madzie's peaceful slumber. He wrapped one arm around the small girl and let his magic wash over her to warm her up again.

His coffee table and the floor around it was strewn with crayons, paper scrawled with colorful drawings and scratched handwriting, and several rainbow building blocks of various sizes. Some of the blocks were their original forms, some were misshapen, some were oversized, and some were undersized. Madzie and Magnus had been practicing her item transformation magic that afternoon and she had grown tired from the exercises. So the two had taken a break and had a warm drink—a cup of hot cocoa for her and an Irish coffee for him—in order to wind down from heavy magic use. Before long Madzie had fallen asleep against him while they lounged on the couch.

She was so advanced! Item transformation was usually something he waited to start with children in their teens. Physical transformations required the cognitive and magical ability to scan, understand, deconstruct, and reform complex physical structures of which all solid matter was made. Madzie couldn't transform inanimate items larger than a small cat or more complex items like living organisms but the fact that she could do it _at all_ so young was simply phenomenal.

Magnus wrapped his other arm around her and rested his cheek against the soft curls of her hair, set free into its natural state of coiled strands yet still held from her face by a headband. She was a curious girl. Timid and shy seeming at first because she didn't talk much…until she revealed the power, intelligence, and discernment hidden underneath. Oh, Madzie was a fascinating little warlock. A child truly after Magnus' own heart.

Magnus was starting to worry. He had a decision to make but it would affect at least three people once he made it. He had to decide if he would stop trying to place Madzie and take her under his wing full time.

Eight months before, Clary and Alec had come to him after a disastrous attempt to raise Jocelyn Fairchild from her grave and informed him of a warlock-human trafficking ring being run secretly by the one Iris Rouse, a certain disreputable warlock who was unfortunately of Magnus' _long_ acquaintance. He had had many run-ins with Iris in his time, each one leaving more of a bad taste in his mouth than the last. None had been quite as bad as the most recent.

In all the time Magnus had known her—going on four centuries now—Iris had usually trucked in dark magic and necromantic spell work with the occasional magical larceny thrown in for good measure. While some of that was illegal by Clave standards, for warlocks it had all been mostly just frowned upon and strongly discouraged but not strictly against their few laws. Warlocks were a largely solitary bunch who mostly self-governed themselves. As long as it didn't threaten harm to the balance of the Downworld, the Accords, and the Mass Mundane Secrecy Pact, what you did with your own magic was your own business.

Kidnapping and coercing human and shadowhunter women into deals so that you could exploit them in some horrific demon-rape, baby-farm was definitely not protected under the warlock self-governing system, however. If ever there was a time for a High Warlock to step in, it was then.

Magnus had tried. Alec, Clary, Jace, and Izzy had called him directly after their encounter with Iris and informed him of what happened. When Clary had calmed enough after her traumatic experience and explained everything Iris had said and Alec had described what he saw, Magnus had made his way to Iris' home to oversee the care and placement of the nine warlock babies and the memory wiped young mundane woman who had been left behind.

Considering the fact that hiring a warlock to perform necromancy was actually illegal by Clave standards, they had brainstormed an alternative explanation for Clary and Alec's presence in Iris' home. They had decided to file a report with the Institute that Clary and Alec were investigating a tip that Iris was up to her usual illegal dealings and decided to use Jocelyn's death as the perfect cover story—the Clave _loved_ when their perfect soldiers sacrificed their own emotions and pain for the good of the Law—and set up Iris to see if she would bite at Clary's dead mother "sob" story.

While it was distasteful to Magnus to use Jocelyn's memory in this way and he himself had often been the victim of Clave Law entrapment investigations, the usual shadowhunter duplicity worked in their favor this time. Alec drew up the initial investigation report, Jace and Izzy witnessed and signed, and Magnus added his addendum report as a warlock consultant charged with the care and dispatch of the discovered warlock children and impregnated woman. A Missing Person's Report was filed for the young Madzie and a Wanted BOLO was filed for Iris.

Aldertree had been extremely suspicious considering how he thought they were all in some dark, insubordinate cabal wanting to overthrow the Clave or some nonsense. However, there was nothing he could pin on them. Everything in the paperwork had been carefully worded so that anything Iris could possibly tell anyone once she was captured could be explained as part of their undercover investigation. It was a neat bit of cover up work, if Magnus did say so himself. Plus, to keep the lie as authentic as possible, he got a bit of bonus pay out of the entire thing as he technically was consulting on a case.

But it still had left Madzie in the wind and that did not sit well with Magnus at all. He had tried a number of tracking spells including some that only worked warlock to warlock. He had even called up a minor demon to wrangle into the search. All to no avail. Iris had cloaked herself well and Madzie was nowhere to be found.

It was a couple weeks later that Iris had infiltrated his home and stolen one of his most personal and protected grimoires for Valentine. Before he had tossed her to the Clave to face their justice, she had told him that Valentine had Madzie. His heart had shattered for the young girl. He had already been heartbroken at not being able to find Dot and the dozens of other downworlders who had been captured by that evil man but to know that Valentine had a little warlock girl too? Terrifying. Especially when Magnus had added in that Valentine had his grimoire of counter spells. Whatever that man was planning, it had simultaneously chilled and enraged Magnus.

They had soon found out the plan, though. Magnus and a few warlocks who volunteered, Luke and his wolves, and Alec and his shadowhunters had exhausted themselves trying to find Valentine and the captured downworlders but it wasn't until Clary's blood oath activated that they gained any ground. Presumably Valentine was not willing to let Clary die, so he had allowed Madzie to go to fulfill the blood oath. Magnus should've been suspicious that Valentine would come out of hiding for his daughter but he counted his blessings and ignored his reservations. Before he could get to Madzie, the girl had portalled Clary and herself away. Everything had fallen apart in short order after that.

They got Clary back, then lost Simon, who was promptly tortured on camera for Clary and Magnus to see. Valentine had made sure to send them a live feed via Clary's phone. The Institute was attacked with the help of Magnus' spell book and Valentine had managed to nearly kill Alec and Izzy. Magnus had exactly three nightmarish memories of that day: seeing a near fatally wounded Alec being cradled in his parabatai's arms as the blonde screamed, seeing Clary's hand be forcibly pressed to the Soul Sword as it stabbed through Simon, and coming upon a little Madzie standing over the corpses of several shadowhunters that she clearly had just killed.

Frankly, it had been the worst day of his entire life and, considering Magnus' age and the things he had experienced, that was truly saying something. It had been a pitched battle and everyone had lost something vital in there. A Pyrrhic victory if ever a victory could be called one. They had regained the Institute but lost the Soul Sword again, only this time the Sword had been successfully corrupted.

Valentine had Kansas City Shuffled them all. While they had been worried about him activating the Soul Sword to kill all the downworlders, he had actually been trying to flip the mortal instrument's alliance from angelic to demonic. Magnus had seen young Simon skewered by the Sword, a dark red pulse echoing out from the moment, and everything fell into place in his mind. What a fool he had been! An obtuse and brainless dupe. His grimoire! It hadn't held just counter spells but also several dark, ancient rituals to use on angelic items.

In his youth Magnus had spent some time with his father, the fallen angel Asmodeus, before renouncing that life but during his short apprenticeship he had learned and recorded several forbidden and dangerous magical rituals. Magnus was a true Nephilim, a child of an angel and human, and his father thought it fitting that he learn magic suitable to his nature as a dark Nephilim. Corrupting angelic relics was certainly something a Prince of Hell should prioritize. It would have been the ethical and moral thing to erase those rituals from written record and destroy them in his own memory but Magnus had wanted to make sure if anyone had the full scope of those rituals, he at least would know them and how to counter them. He had kept the knowledge even from the Spiral Labyrinth and secreted it away in his vault.

If he was honest with himself, he had also kept the spells because he was a little greedy, a little arrogant, and a little reckless. _He who has power can never be powerless_ , Magnus' mind supplied to him in a sibilant whisper. _You wanted those spells for yourself and now everyone is paying the price. How much power shall you attain? How does it weigh against your friends, your children, your lover? Was it worth it? Do you feel in control?_

Magnus sucked in a deep breath and pressed his nose into Madzie's soft hair, pushing away those self-flagellating thoughts. It would not do to wind himself up tonight. His mind needed to be on the task at hand: finding Madzie a home.

After everything had gone absolutely wrong, Valentine had fled with the Sword. Magnus, Jace, and Luke had tried to pick up the pieces. Luke had rounded up the still living Institute shadowhunters and some of his werewolves to start a sweep for straggling Circle members. Magnus had poured his power into stabilizing Alec and Izzy and moved them to the infirmary. Jace had healed Simon with his blood as Clary, exhausted after having the Soul Sword's power siphoned through her, weakly held the hand of her vampire lover. Last week they had accidentally discovered that something about that night had turned Simon into a day walker, the lucky boy. Which…was a strange side effect of the Sword ceremony if that truly was the cause and, frankly, he should look into that.

In his final search of the Institute, Magnus had come across little Madzie standing over the broken corpses of several Institute shadowhunters. Valentine had manipulated and lied to the poor doll and told her that killing those shadowhunters would lead her back to her nana. Seeing a little warlock girl abused and used for her powers like that was possibly Magnus' worst nightmare. It was terrible on its own but as an added bonus it had also reminded him of his own past and the many people who had hurt him and used him in that same way. He would have screamed if he had not needed to keep it together for Madzie. He had approached her tentatively, shown her his eyes, gotten on his knees, and talked in a gentle voice.

Magnus had not wanted to contribute to the people who had hurt Madzie so he had told her the full truth right then and there. Something she hadn't heard in some time.

"He told me Nana was here."

"He lied."

"Then where is she?"

Madzie had shouted the last part and it had echoed along the corridor. Magnus had watched as her bottom lip trembled and tears welled up in her eyes. His own throat had closed up a little but he had cleared it and rallied his emotions.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Madzie. I don't want to be like those other men. I'm going to tell you the truth, okay sweet pea?"

"Where _is_ she?"

"I sent her away, honey. I sent her away."

The tears that had been gathered in Madzie's eyes spilled over.

"She did bad things and hurt some very nice people, some very nice ladies. Okay, sweet pea? Do you understand?"

He had bared his heart to Madzie and accepted the consequences.

She had understood…and she hadn't. Her entire face had crumbled and wracking sobs had choked out of her. Her little gills had fluttered erratically and the wind that had previously died down rose back up and had whipped around the hall. Red sparking magic had lashed out around Madzie and burned streaks into whatever it touched. Magnus had put up personal shields around the bodies of the fallen to preserve them for their last rites and had stayed close to Madzie but decided not to try and touch her yet.

Madzie had been extremely upset. She had no concept of the horrific things Iris had done to those poor women and to Madzie herself. She only knew Iris as her precious nana. Madzie's magic had torn through the hall in her heartache. Magnus had tried to minimize the damage to her but ultimately let the child feel what she was feeling and left her to work through everything, staying close by to keep watch. She had tired herself out though it took nearly a full half hour for her to stop. When the bulk of her power had run its course, the child had collapsed right into his waiting arms, her tear streaked cheeks warm from her exertion and her little hands curled into fists.

Magnus had had a few wounds from the adolescent's spell work. Her magic had raced across his body several times, leaving cuts and burns in some places but he had taken it in stride and healed them after the fact. Every injury had felt like justice for everything he had done wrong that lead up to that day. Later he told Madzie that he would try to let her see her nana if she wished but he could make no promises.

Everyone had recovered as much as possible and Madzie had managed to forgive him once he had found a way to keep his promise to let her see her nana one last time. A month later the two had made the trip. He owed Imogen Herondale a favor for his effort but it had been worth it. They had visited Iris in her Clave cell and even managed to convince the Silent Brother guards to let Madzie in the cell to hug the vile woman. It was not somewhere he would normally take a child but it was what Madzie needed so he had ignored his own reservations.

Iris had been pale and emaciated. Her eyes had sunken in and her limbs trembled beneath the wool sack she wore. She could barely stand at all and had sat slumped on a straw pallet in a corner of her cell. Madzie had thrown herself into the woman's arms as soon as she could. They had talked for a time but eventually just settled into silence so Magnus decided to engage Iris himself.

They had spoken in Middle French, the language of her birth, but Magnus had still waved a mild confusion spell over the young girl that jumbled the words she heard in order to protect her from what they would speak on.

"Why would you do such a thing, Iris?"

"You know why."

Magnus had scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Our…personal history aside, a zombie here or there or a bit of thievery is forgivable. This…this was evil, Iris."

"This was _necessary_."

She had rubbed a gnarled hand over Madzie's head at that. His own hands had gripped his elbows as he tried desperately to keep from snatching Madzie away from Iris' weakened embrace.

"Valentine threatens us all. We warlocks are a dying people because he keeps killing us. Not to mention all the warlocks killed by the Clave under the guise of the Accords. We have no way to breed or increase our numbers except like this."

"You dare- You dare to act like you care about warlocks after what you did to those women and children? All of us, every one of us, are born from that horror. We all know what it feels to be born from violation. And you did that to someone else? To countless women? You don't get to talk about the warlock community and our welfare after that, Iris."

"Wake up, Magnus! We have no community. We have no protection. The High Warlocks? You're a joke. Too scared of your own power to step up and fight to your fullest ability." Iris' face folded into a vicious sneer. "Do you think these shadowhunters care about our people? Have they lifted a finger in the years since the Uprising when we all said Valentine and his Circle wasn't gone? Hell, they even pardoned some. It was all over the gossip circles that you're even dating one. A Lightwood? Really, Magnus? After everything that disgusting family did to us?"

"Alec is not- Alec is not the same as his parents. I will not discuss him with you, especially after you nearly killed him when he came to you with Clary."

"Oh, was that the boy?" She had tried to suck in air as if she were about to spit but she choked and coughed a little instead. Dehydration ensured she couldn't follow through on that particular insult.

"Do you really think him different from his upbringing? A Lightwood? The son of Maryse, the Red Angel? Whose broadsword is soaked in the blood of so many downworlders? Don't be a fool, Magnus. Apples never fall far from the tree. Stop relying on Nephilim justice to protect you. If you wait for their hearts to warm to us, even your immortality would run out before they changed."

Magnus had wanted to rip into her for what she had done and for what she had said but the woman was right about one thing, they could never fully rely on shadowhunters to prioritize downworlder wellbeing. Their precious Law and duty and honor and whatever always came first. Even his own dear friends…his own love Alec displayed casual shadowhunter superiority at times. At the end of the day, shadowhunters were part angel and downworlders were part demon and they would never, ever let anyone forget it.

He had stubbornly ignored her words and focused on something else. "I've taken care of the warlock babes you _abandoned_ when you ran. I found good homes for them."

"I figured as much. The Silent Brothers' torturous questions let me guess." A pause. "I- Thank you, for taking care of them. I usually try to find a home for them before they are born but I couldn't finish the process for these latest ones, obviously…" She had trailed off and bit at a cracked lip.

"I have- I had a ledger," she had said suddenly. "I'll tell you the geographic location and ward counter spells to get to it. It has records of my adoption work. Some records were lost in a fire but I saved what I could. I- There is some information on the mothers too if- if you want that."

Magnus had stood in shock for a second. He had not expected anything of the sort let alone that Iris would voluntarily give up the information to him.

"Y- yes. That would be…thank you. Yes."

Iris, for all her fairly sociopathic methods, had seemed to at least tangentially care for her warlock baby-farm children. _Even evil has a drop of good_ , Magnus supposed as he made a mental note of the coordinates and requisite access spells she rattled off.

"Why did you keep Madzie?" He had wondered for a long time. Why this child? Why then?

"I got lonely."

Silence had fallen between them then, broken only by Madzie's soft sniffles. It had been awkward suddenly. Iris knew and Magnus knew what would happen once they left. It was a strange thing to know you were about to die. Even more so as an immortal. Iris' infractions had racked up and culminated in her trafficking ring. That wasn't something the Clave gave a slap on the wrist for. Oh, they might keep Iris for some time as they interrogated her and set her up as a painful reminder for the rest of the downworld but eventually she would die. Her life was forfeit. Magnus could not afford to owe more favors in order to get visiting rights for Madzie so this was it for them as well.

The Silent Brother who had been waiting a few cells down had then made a motion towards him.

"We have to go."

"I know. I know…"

Magnus had dropped the confusion spell and Iris had pulled Madzie up from her lap. "You have to go, honey."

"No."

"Honey, y- you can't stay."

"No!"

A strong wind had swirled around the cell and Iris had gasped before letting out a nervous chuckle.

"She's so strong, Magnus. Look at her. She's so perfect." A weak smile had pulled at her thin lips and she had patted Madzie's head. Magnus had shifted in place and his eyes had darted away.

"Go with Magnus, Madzie. He's Nana's…friend…and he's going to take good care of you from now on."

"I don't want to."

"You have to, hun. He's going to find you a nice place to stay with nice people and it's going to have ice cream and hot chocolate and toys to play with and…you're going to love it."

"Will Nana be there?"

Heavens above! Iris was literally one of the worst people he had ever met and what she had done to Madzie and those other people was unconscionable. He'd be damned back to Edom and his father's embrace before he fucking shed a tear over her.

"No, honey bun, I- I have to stay here and you can't ever come back. We're not going to see each other anymore so you have to trust Magnus, okay?"

"He said you did a bad thing."

Iris had pursed her lips and cut her eyes towards Magnus. He had met her gaze head on and raised a single, elegant eyebrow as if to dare her to say otherwise.

"He's, ah- he's right, Madzie. I did a bad thing. Now we can't see each other anymore."

Madzie's temper had flared at that and her red lightning magic lashed across Iris' chest and burned her shoulder. Magnus had made a move to throw up a shield for her but Iris had raised her hand to stay him. She had winced a bit and turned back to Madzie.

"Nana did a bad thing so it's all my fault, okay, Madzie? Everything is my fault. You have to go with Magnus and you do what he says. Do you hear me, Madeleine? You're to do what he says from now on."

As quick as her temper and the wind of her magic had risen, it had dropped. Gone had been the little fire cracker of a warlock and instead there stood the little girl whose entire world was disintegrating around her. Iris had jerked her chin at Magnus and he had glided forward. He had gathered the girl up in his arms, her screams and cries reverberating around them as they swept down the corridor. The gate of Iris' cell had magically slammed shut behind him. The last he had seen of Iris was her wobbling to her feet and over to the barred front of the cell as she pressed her face against the enchanted metal, trying desperately to catch one last glimpse of the little girl in Magnus' arms.

Six months later and Magnus was still working through all the records of Iris' adoption registry trying to figure out what to do. Iris' warlock baby-making scheme had been going on since the first time the Circle had risen in the 90s. There were…a lot of victims. Though many warlocks, including his dear friends Tessa and Catarina had pitched in to help, he felt a personal need to investigate each and every one to make sure the warlock children were with families worthy of them and check in on all those women to try and help them regain some agency in their lives.

It was a fucking mess, to be honest. Did he take the children from families that didn't even know about the human trafficking part of their adoption? Some of the children were now Clary's age. How do you tell a family, a child, anything like what had happened? How do you help a woman whose mind was erased grapple with the horrific truth of what had happened to her? Some of the women had been used multiple times and the repeated violations and memory wipes had left them damaged cognitively and/or physically. Some of the women had not taken to the wipes and latent memories had resurfaced causing them to fall into despair, depression, self-destruction, and at times suicide.

Madzie's mother had been one of those. Eloisa Cantrell. A young librarian who had come to Iris looking for a new gynecologist and gotten caught up in her disgusting scheme. Magnus had looked through the records for her first. Iris had recorded that Madzie's mother had started to remember and had killed herself shortly after giving birth to Madzie. Iris had discovered later that the woman had been a touch clairvoyant, descended in some way from a Seelie, most likely. She had resisted Iris' memory wipes and couldn't bear what had happened to her. She had been found dead in her Queens apartment by her landlord, an empty bottle of pills next to her and a suicide note scrawled with sharp, slanted words some of which were drawn over and over in pressed bold:

 _"My memory comes and_ ** _goes_** _. Everyone thinks I'm crazy but I know I'm not._ ** _I know what happened was real!_** _I can't hold on to this anymore._ ** _I don't want to._** _My thoughts, my dreams…every waking moment is plagued by memories of that thing touching me, hurting me._

 _I thought I could feel-_ _I remember a full belly, pressure pushing down on my guts, and vomit in my mouth. But the memory flies away before I can grab it._ _If that evil-_ _If I had a baby,_ ** _I don't want it._** _But if I did have one, name them something beautiful. I can't do this anymore but maybe they'll be better. Madeleine or_ _Matthias_ _Moses, for a boy._ _I can't_ _I just want to stop._ ** _I'm sorry._** _"_

Madeleine Cantrell. Madzie Rouse.

Eloisa had had no living family other than Madzie but Magnus could not officially claim her meager things for Madzie without putting the young girl on the radar of the mundane child services system. He absolutely would not do that so he had tracked her things to a police owned storage locker where they were being held for the short period of time before they would be auctioned off. The nature of her suicide note, her personal therapy records, and some evidence from other mundane women with similar stories had actually caused the police to suspect human trafficking was involved. Her things were being held as potential evidence in what was considered a sprawling cold case.

The police had no chance of truly solving the case but it meant much of Eloisa's things were still around. Magnus had broken into the police department's evidence storage locker and stolen a photo album and some trinkets that seemed to hold value to the deceased woman based on the photos. He had covered his tracks by leave transmogrified duplicates that would last for at least 10 years to replace what he took. The energy expenditure had tired him out some and had been extremely risky but Magnus had felt it worth it to give Madzie even a hint of a connection to her birth mother.

While Magnus was determined to visit each victim of Iris' ring and help them, he was trying to do so off the mundane police's and the Clave's radars. Luke promised to use his police position to run interference from his end as much as possible. Alec also promised to keep a look out for any signs that the Clave might poke their noses into the left over case as well. Doubtful they would care to look beyond punishing Iris but Magnus accepted Alec's help in the spirit it was given.

He could tell Alec felt a convoluted obligation to help after he felt had he failed to stop Iris the first time. It was more of that unfortunate tendency his Alexander had to take the entirety of all blame for every failing onto his own shoulders. A worrisome tendency in Magnus' opinion but not something that could be solved in one night so he let it go for now. He was sure it would crop up again during a more opportune time for Magnus to touch on it.

Magnus shifted the sleeping Madzie a little to the left and magically snapped his Irish coffee up from the table and into his right hand. He took a sip at the biting liquid, savoring the flavor. All of the cases he had investigated had been difficult but none as much as Madzie's case.

The girl hated everyone he placed her with. Every time he thought he had found a warlock or warlock family that would match her, he soon found she did not agree. The day before he had had to come to Orlando to get her from her fifth family. She had thrown such an immense tantrum that her magic had literally melted a wall on the side of their house so that it exposed the inside to the street. Though he had extensively explained Madzie's situation to them, the young Colombian warlock-werewolf couple had not been magically or emotionally able to handle such an event. Both women had been beside themselves at the destruction. The mundane police had even been called. It was a mess.

Amirah Farouk, the High Warlock of Miami, had not been appreciative of the cleanup she'd had to do to keep the secrecy of the downworld from the mundanes. She'd also been forced to deal with the Miami Institute to explain what had happened. Magnus most definitely owed her after this.

He had underestimated Madzie's trauma and her growing attachment to Magnus. Magnus banished his empty cup to the kitchen sink and summoned his cell phone. He waved a sound muffling spell over Madzie before he dialed. She would possibly know he was talking from the rumble of his chest but the sound would not disturb her sleep, he hoped. The line rang seven times before Catarina picked up and her harried voice rang out, sharp and speaking in German.

"Hello."

He switched to German to follow. "Hey, Cat…am I interrupting? You sound…busy and vaguely enraged."

"Magnus."

In the background of the call he could hear two men arguing loudly in the same tongue.

She sighed, "I _am_ busy but it's not you that has me angry. I'm in Vienna with Manu and this fool of a sprite is refusing to let us heal him unless we use fairy magic which obviously neither of us can do being a warlock and a vampire, respectively. At this point, I'm liable to just let the man lose his entire left arm and part of his torso just to spite him."

"Is there no fae healer available?"

"Of course there is; I could call one up in a jiffy. The problem is that he was in a car accident and skewered with a rusted metal pipe. He has cold iron burning through the veins of his arm and shoulder fast. Obviously fae magic would heal him eventually but-"

"But it would take too long to counter the iron and he'd lose the arm anyway. Got it."

He could hear Catarina walking and the voices of the arguing men growing faint. "I miss New York. This trip has been horrible."

"You need to stop taking jobs when you're on vacation. 'Clock out, rock out,' as I always say."

"You have literally never said that before in your life and you never should again."

Rude.

"I will have you know that I am an amazing catch-phrase neologist. Here, I'll come up with a new one…"

"Magnus, no."

"No, wait. I've got one on the tip of my tongue. Vacation-"

"Magnus!"

He paused. "I- what?"

"Why did you call? What happened?"

"What makes you think something happened?"

"You called me and yet somehow managed to talk for ten minutes about everything but why you called. Something happened and you need my help but you're also avoiding asking me."

He sighed, closed his eyes, and shifted lower on the couch, careful to keep from jostling Madzie too much.

"You're right…it's Madzie."

"She's back with you. I thought for sure the Moreno family would work out."

"They were the perfect fit. Gigi was even familiar with children from difficult homes from her work with you."

"What happened?"

"She got frustrated doing her homework and it devolved into a full magical blow out."

"Oh, dear…"

"She took out an entire side of their house. It was chaos. Some teenager caught some of the blast on camera and uploaded the footage to both Vine and YouTube. Over 800,000 hits in two days so…there's that."

"Amirah must be fuming."

"I'm fairly certain she never wants to see me ever again."

"Immortal Mario Kart Nights are certainly going to be awkward if that's true."

Magnus barked a laugh. "Don't joke. I live for those. She's going to destroy me every game we play after this."

The laughter faded from Magnus' voice as the reality of the situation set in again.

"I don't know what to do."

Catarina stayed quiet and left him to continue.

"She won't settle and there's no one trustworthy who is powerful enough to handle her magic and also able or willing enough to actually raise a child."

"What has Tessa said?"

"She can't take her full time with everything happening at the Spiral Labyrinth what with Valentine flipping the Soul Sword and gearing up for war. She's already working with me to look into Iris' victims, anyway. And she's had a sudden influx recently of warlocks seeking refuge and hasn't the time or ability to take on a child."

"What about Dorothea? I know after her trauma we shouldn't stress her even more with potential child-rearing but I also know that she and Madzie have an acquaintance from their time with Valentine."

"You saw Dot's state after Valentine's experiments. She cares for Madzie, of course, but she's too magically damaged to handle one of Madzie's tantrums and she's still too physically weak to look after her for too long. There aren't enough of us that I know who are also powerful enough to handle her. Power wise, there's who? You, me, Tessa…Arnoud, maybe."

"You know Arnoud would rather die than be within five feet of anyone under a century. He's definitely out." He heard a glass clinking and liquid pouring as she got herself something to drink. "What are her levels reading?"

"Through the roof for a six year old and growing rapidly each month. We were practicing transformation magic earlier and she had small transformations down within a few hours. She reminds me of myself in so many ways, Cat."

"How is she so powerful, so young? Have you looked into her lineage? What kind of demon was her sire?"

"I have, actually. It took me some time to find as Iris lost records in a fire, apparently." He paused and inhaled. "Her father is Carreau."

Catarina choked on her drink as she sucked in a breath. "The Fallen Power? Carreau, the Pitiless? What-? How? How did Iris manage to trap _a second tier greater demon_ to use in a baby factory?"

"I have absolutely no idea. Even worse, I can't ask Iris because Imogen has barred access to her indefinitely."

"The demon your Clary described was not a Fallen One, Magnus. What in the world?"

"I don't know. Whatever happened, it didn't last for long as I could not find any evidence that she had gotten any other women pregnant with Carreau. Madzie was the only surviving offspring. Iris switched demons multiple times over the years, actually. The one Clary encountered was just the latest."

"No wonder she decided to raise Madzie herself."

"Lonely, my ass. She wanted the power. Of course, she did. That split second I thought about crying for her makes me so angry now."

"So…Madzie is a true Nephilim."

"Yes."

"Like you…"

"That's right."

"And she keeps sabotaging all of her placements."

Magnus hummed in agreement. He pinned the phone to his shoulder and carefully shifted both himself and Madzie into laying lengthwise along his couch. Madzie stretched her little limbs out and her hand slapped him in the face as they both settled into a more comfortable position. The front of his sapphire and gold flannel shirt grew damp as a little dribble leaked from her slightly opened mouth. Magnus bit back a laugh as he wiped her face and gently closed her jaw.

"You know why she's doing this. You must, Magnus."

"I do."

He only heard Catarina sip more of her beverage as she waited for him to say what she knew he was desperate to avoid.

"I can't- I don't have- I'm the High Warlock of Brooklyn."

"Yes."

"I'm the High Warlock of Brooklyn in the middle of a war."

"Yes."

"I have _duties_ and downworlder charges and these damned shadowhunters can't seem to do anything without me, always barging into my loft. 'Save me, Magnus, I've done the very thing you told me not to do and the exact bad thing you said would happen actually happened!'"

"Undoubtedly."

"I- And I just started a relationship less than a year ago."

"True."

"Alexander is barely in his mid-twenties and has his own responsibilities now that he's regained leadership of the New York Institute. What would it look like asking him to deal with parenting right now? He's not ready for something like this."

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"I- what? No. Because I'm not going to do this."

"I'm sure."

"I'm not. Plus, I don't even know if _I'm_ ready for this. The youngest child I've ever taken in long term was fifteen. I have no idea what I'd do with a six year old."

"You love children."

"Oh my god, I do. I really love kids."

"You'll figure out a six year old in no time. You're a wonderful father, Magnus."

"Am I? Because, frankly, Rapha has me questioning my fatherhood skills lately."

"What happened with Raphael and Isabelle Lightwood was not your fault. They were the victims of an evil and terrible man."

"We had another fight last week."

"What happened this time?"

"It was over Clary. He insinuated once again that she was destroying us and that my involvement with her and Alexander was a mistake. I admit that I got a little angry."

"He's recovering but, Magnus, falling off the wagon after over fifty years of sobriety is not something easy to get through. You have to be patient with him."

"I know and I'm trying. You will remember I told you that he sided with the Seelie Queen when it was suggested we kill Clary at the Downworld Council that Luke called. He thinks we'd all be better off if she was out of the picture."

"Well…"

"You _cannot_ be agreeing with him, Cat."

"Absolutely not. Calling for violence or harm towards an innocent person is against everything I am but for Raphael…you have to admit that knowing Clary and Company has been disastrous for him and, in some ways, for you as well."

"You exaggerate. Clary is not-"

"Raphael has lost several vampires in their unsanctioned raid of his clan, Simon betrayed him after he went out of his way to help the boy and Clary, they let Camille go and you yourself provided what she needed to legally slip from his control, he was almost tortured to death by Victor Aldertree because of Camille's nonsense, Ragnor died while helping Clary, and now Raphael is back at square one trying to ween himself off of shadowhunter blood after Isabelle got him hooked again."

"Well, if you put it that way…"

"I am not overly fond of Sir Meliorn, as you know, but you told me what he said at the meeting and he is right about one thing. You are biased. You love Clary and you dote on her because you consider her to be a beloved niece and you feel guilty about erasing her memory all those years. You let her get away with things and demand things of you that you would never allow from others. I won't even touch on your bias towards the eldest Lightwood boy but know that I see that too."

"Catarina…"

"I am not asking you to stop feeling what you are feeling for these young people but please recognize the truth of your heart. It is dangerous to ignore such a vulnerability in your objectivity."

Magnus had nothing to say. Catarina was right. He liked to pretend that he didn't care about shadowhunters and that he could ignore them wholesale if he wanted to but, in truth, so many had managed to irreversibly worm their way into his life. None so deeply as Alexander. And now he was thinking of adopting a child. What was going on with him?

"You need to talk to Raphael about what has been happening to him and to your relationship."

"I will."

"And talk to young Alec about Madzie. You cannot assume you know what he is thinking. Talk with him about it first before you make a decision."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Don't get cheeky with me."

Magnus laughed and the tension that had been building in his body was released.

"It's late in New York, Magnus. You must be tired. Go to sleep. I have work to do here, anyway. Maybe Manu has convinced this puck to let us heal him."

"If not, try showing him detailed and vibrant pictures of Iron Burn as incentive."

"How grotesque."

"But brilliant, as are all my suggestions and invented phrases. Wait, wait…here's one: burn to learn."

"Hang up the phone, Magnus."

Magnus laughed a final time and disconnected the call. He sat his phone down on the coffee table and sighed.

Talking with Catarina had been exactly what he needed. She was right about everything, of course. He let Clary and Alexander get away with murder with him. He had taken Simon under his wing and now he too had become important to him. He got on quite well with Isabelle, current complications with Raphael notwithstanding. Even Jace Wayland was a weakness now. He had been living with Magnus for several months because of his love for both Clary and Alexander but a begrudging affection had grown between them independent of their mutual acquaintances. And now he wanted to add Madzie.

He should put up a sign outside of his building: "Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn. Happy Home for Lost Souls."

He did want Madzie. He wanted to hold her and teach her magic and about life and how to love. He wanted to protect her and help her heal. He wanted to make sure nothing bad ever happened to her again. The only other thing he had desired this strongly in the last decade of his life had been Alexander.

And what would Alec have to say about all of this? Even though Magnus was inclined to adopt Madzie on his own without burdening Alec with any parenting responsibilities, he still had to consider what a child would do to their relationship. When they had started dating, Magnus was certain Alec had not signed up to date a man with a daughter. But here he was about to ask him to do just that.

He needed to see Alexander as soon as possible but the shadowhunter had been called to Idris for a week for a strategy conference and quarterly debriefing by the Clave. Alec had said they'd grown concerned by all of the events happening in New York and since two of their representatives had failed to garner results, he was being called to face them directly as the former Acting Head and alleged source of both Lydia Branwell and Victor Aldertree's failings. He wasn't scheduled to return for another three days at the earliest. Provided, of course, Alec didn't get arrested for treason or some such nonsense. This was certainly a conversation to be had face to face so Magnus would have to wait.

Magnus' eyelids grew heavy. He was tired just as Catarina suggested. He also had absolutely no desire to move so he decided to stay right where he was. He gently pulled off Madzie's little headband and set it next to his phone on the table beside them. Very carefully he rolled Madzie into the back of the couch, boxing her in with his own broad torso and cradling her head on his left bicep.

A snap of fingers pulled her hair into a silk bonnet and a soft wave down her body changed her cute flower dress into kitty cat pajamas. A second snap removed his makeup from his face and a second wave changed him into sleep clothes as well. A third snap dimmed the lights in his living room to a soft gold and a final snap summoned a blanket from his bedroom that he draped over them both. He pressed a short kiss to Madzie's forehead and curled around her little body before sinking his face into the couch's throw pillow.

Sleep would surely do nothing but help. He would come up with what to say to Alexander tomorrow. For now, he would just live in this moment holding a little girl, who he was rapidly coming to love, safe and warm in his arms.

* * *

A/N: Well…there you go. Give me some feedback.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Ok, here's the next part. This is from Alec's POV and just like Magnus I'm still working on getting the hang of his internal voice but I hope you like what I've developed for him.

Also, as I was writing this chapter I realized this story was definitely going to be longer than a two-shot so I changed the chapter numbers to unknown. We'll see.

Just as a reminder, I take elements of the books and the show and thoroughly disregard both to suit my needs. This is especially true after that winter finale as this story is now completely canon divergent now.

(How about that finale, ammirite? Jimon blood drinking, Canon Ace Raphael, they finally saved Dot and Madzie, and that effing Malec scene…omfg!)

Anyway, have fun, guys!

* * *

Chapter 2

"In light of what has been brought before us this week, I personally find it inconceivable that Acting Head Alexander Lightwood and those loyal to him are as yet still in control of a single Institute let alone the entire New York Conclave. While I am sure in time he might prove a fitting Head along with… _whomever_ he chooses to marry, right now he seems to be far too… _inexperienced_ , shall we say, to adequately handle such a daunting task. Furthermore…."

Alec's eyes narrowed and his left hand tightened around his right in frustration. Luckily both his hands and the evidence of his annoyance were hidden behind his back as he stood in parade rest before the presenting podium of the Council Hall. The front of his formal dark gray suit jacket, still buttoned over the end of his red silk tie, pressed to his chest and was a welcome focus for his attention before his temper got the best of him.

He had just finished his report of the events surrounding Valentine's infiltration of the New York Institute and was waiting for his chance to follow up with his plans and recommendations for the near future. He had been standing thus for just under an hour after he gave his report and the senior Clave members argued back and forth. Years of discipline helped him hold his tongue but Bartholomew Winterwell was truly testing his training.

Winterwell was a short but stocky man pushing into his 70s with blazing red hair gone almost completely gray and ruddy skin currently pulled tight across his face as he made an insincere smile. The man had been "politely" slandering his family for the entire week of Council meetings and now was attempting to use Alec's personal life as fuel for the flame.

Winterwell was a Councilman to the Clave appointed as such by the Baton Rouge Conclave in charge of the southern US Institutes. He was not the Head of the Baton Rouge Institute but rather had been appointed by the Head to sit on the Council. He was also well known for trying to push up into the Lightwoods' territory. He had felt that it should have been the Winterwells who were given the New York Conclave after the Whitelaws had been killed wholesale by the Circle.

For years Alec had not really understood Bartholomew's disdain. He thought it was simple greed and jealousy. When he had learned the full truth of his parents' involvement with the Circle and their subsequent "exile," he had finally gotten it. His parents had basically murdered or been complicit in the murder of the entire family in charge of the New York Conclave and instead of being truly punished for their crimes, they had cut deals and then had been rewarded with the power and control of the very Institute they had destroyed.

Nothing about Winterwell truly said he actually cared about what Alec's parents had done to the Whitelaws. In fact, every bit of evidence suggested he had been trying to push even them out of their position back in the day too. But Alec cared and what his parents had done was…terrible and terrifying, if he was honest.

Still, Alec was sick of Winterwell trying to use his relationship with Magnus and his sexuality as fodder for his war against his parents. He had been making underhanded comments all week and Alec was barely holding on. However, it was not yet his chance to speak again and while he was a Clave member, having sworn his loyalty to Idris upon turning eighteen and thus had the right to speak before the Council just as much as anyone, his youth as a member made it difficult to interject. He had to wait for a better moment.

Or perhaps create one.

Alec locked eyes with his mother perched delicately in her chair on the right side of the Council Hall. Beside her sat his father, carefully not touching her even once. She was dressed for diplomacy in a dark gray long-sleeved dress with her soft curls pulled up off of her shoulders and her make up done simply except for the splash of brilliant red on her lips. She wore a loop necklace of rubies and hematite stones draped across her neck with matching earrings in drops from her ears. Over her elegant dress was draped her Council robe, edged with silver runes.

Despite their…difficult relationship at the moment when it came to his romantic life, in this they were as one. If there was one thing he had learned from her, it was that the Lightwood family would always rally to each other to protect their honor from outsiders. He had been learning statecraft from Maryse for years now and in that time they had become keenly attuned to each other's nonverbal cues, especially when it came to political plays. Alec and Maryse took a moment while Winterwell continued in his passive-aggressive rant to exchange a short but silent conversation.

Alec broke their locked stare to cut his eyes slightly towards Winterwell as if to say, _'I only need a window and I can turn this around and finish it.'_

She raised an eyebrow then dipped her eyes toward the ground. _'Are you certain? I can step in myself.'_

 _'Absolutely, mother,'_ he replied with a slow blink and a twitch of his jaw.

 _'So be it.'_ Maryse flashed a smirk that was gone before anyone else could notice.

Maryse Lightwood's ability to make someone feel like a complete failure was well known among her children but her biting ridicule could be deployed against anyone when needed. Even other members of the Clave. It was a delicate balance for her to maintain, being both a disgraced former Circle member yet also an influential force on the Clave Council. When he had learned of his parents' blackened history, he had been overcome with rage considering how hard they were on him and his siblings. Now that he had calmed down about it somewhat and had taken a step back, he had to admit he was also strangely impressed with them. Their ability to recover even part of the family honor was pretty remarkable considering. Their time in the Circle had been the worst mark against the Lightwood name since their ancestor Benedict had been exposed for enjoying sex with demons when he had turned into a giant worm from demon-pox.

"….Especially now that the future of the Lightwood lineage and legacy is… _in question_ , shall we say? What guarantee do we have that the New York Conclave will last? The fact of the matter is the current leadership is underperforming on its own and the future of the Conclave is in doubt. The level of incompetence shown in New York recently has been exponentially detrimental to the whole of the Clave and it is my solemn recommendation that the Council consider permanently reassigning control of that area to a more suitable family that is better prepared to uphold the Covenant. No more temporary solutions—ah, no offense meant, Mr. Aldertree and Ms. Branwell…"

Winterwell paused in his rant which let his mother make her move. Her red painted lips curved up in the most viciously polite smile he had ever seen.

"Of course, Bartholomew, and what family would you suggest is more appropriate? Your in-laws, the Redwillows? Perhaps something more distant like your second cousins twice removed, the Solbergs?"

To his right but further down than his mother, Alec saw Lydia Branwell cover a smirk with her hand. Even though there was no love lost between his ex-fiancé and his mother, no one liked Bartholomew Winterwell so seeing him be called on his bullshit was extremely satisfying. She was fully recovered from her injury during the demon attack and attending the week long meetings as well. Opposite her and completely across the hall sat Victor Aldertree, his bearded face tight in displeasure. Both Lydia and Victor had been called for the Clave conferences, each giving their own reports on their Envoy duties.

While Alec, Lydia, and Victor were all away from the New York Institute, Alec had left Jace and Izzy jointly in charge. It had been slightly against his better judgement considering recent events but Izzy was recovering steadily from her addiction and Jace had mellowed while he had been living with Magnus. He had also doubled down in his dedication to protecting everyone after they had all watched Valentine force Clary to gut Simon…which had been terrible to experience for all parties. Alec thought the two siblings working together should be enough to keep the Institute out of trouble for a week.

"I take offense at your insinuation, Maryse."

"Really? As offensive as your slander against my son and my family have been all week? Impossible. Your thinly veiled attempts at nepotism are well documented in this hall. I seem to recall a similar proposal brought by you two years ago. What was the family you suggested take our place again?"

"How dare you! I have-"

Another voice rang out, lightly accented and drawling as if the owner was completely uninterested in the proceedings. "Wasn't it the Canterfells?"

Maryse didn't miss a beat, "That's right. Your niece is married to Adrian Canterfell, isn't she, Bartholomew?"

The occupants of the Council Hall took a moment to digest exactly who had supported his mother. It was Makoto Kitagawa, the delegate from the Tokyo Institute.

They were recent allies of the Lightwood family. By recent, he meant literally less than a week ago. The first day of the Clave conference, before the official meetings began, Alec and his parents had been trying to strategize in their Alicante home when Kitagawa had shown up on their doorstep asking for entrance. He had sent neither fire message nor a runner to give them warning but Maryse and Robert had elected to hear him out anyway.

Robert had disagreed but Maryse had insisted Alec stay to hear everything. Maryse's increase in support of Alec's involvement with family decisions had been a byproduct of her recent attempts to reconcile with him combined with her estrangement from Robert. Alec had decided not to pick at the bitter edges of those particular wounds until after the conference ended. They had to present a united front even if everything behind closed doors was falling apart. He could tell Maryse felt the same.

Makoto Kitagawa was of average height with broad shoulders and a portly belly gone wide with age. A similar build to Robert's, in fact. He was an older gentleman pushing into his mid-60s. Considering the informal nature of Kitagawa's approach, Maryse and Robert had chosen to speak with him in the parlor over wine. His parents had sat on one of the couches, an uncomfortably noticeable gap of distance between them. Alec had acted as both servant and silent observer while the older shadowhunters talked, filling everyone's glasses when they ran low and trying to stay as unobtrusive as possible even while he soaked in everything.

Kitagawa had proposed that their families would benefit from an alliance going forward. He had indicated that he was looking for support in several crucial Law reforms he wanted to present to the Clave and thought the Lightwoods would be sympathetic to those changes as well. He had also offered his backing for any political moves they, Alec included, could possibly want to make in return. Within reason, of course.

A striking proposition, especially considering the fact that Kitagawa had not offered the usual method of alliance: marriage. The older statesman had then gone over several different broad descriptions of the type of reforms he was looking to push. Most of them had dealt with zoning and trade laws in relation to Downworlders.

Alec had been perplexed. Now he wasn't exactly an expert in Clave Law but all of Makoto's reforms had not seemed to be so radical that he needed to curry extra support from the Lightwoods of all people to get them pushed through.

Then Makoto had put down his last card.

Robert had just finished off the rest of his current glass as Kitagawa talked and his brow had furrowed in confusion.

Going slowly, Robert had said, "I hope you don't take this the wrong way but why us, Makoto? I can certainly see what's in it for us but for you…? You already have the general support of the Taidou family, the Pennyfeathers, and the Montclaires. Plus, by extension you could probably get the Herondale vote. And where the Inquisitor goes, so too goes dozens of other families. Nothing you have brought to us seems worth allying with us, considering the timing. It might take a few years but you could easily get those passed if you're patient."

Alec had known he'd read the situation correctly. Still, it would not look good in front of Kitagawa so he had managed to keep the smug smile he wanted to sport under wraps.

"You're right, of course. However, this next reform in particular is the one I'm really looking for you to support."

Kitagawa had paused and swirled his wine, keeping his eyes glued to the logs burning in the parlor fireplace. Alec had moved forward to refill his father's glass.

"I want to propose changes to our marriage laws, particularly the ones about intermarrying with mundanes."

Alec had almost lost his grip on the wine bottle as he poured his father's glass and the clink it had made as it dropped onto the rim rang in the quiet room. He had managed to regain his composure before he spilled and quickly moved back into the shadows.

The silence had stretched for what felt like hours but was probably only a few minutes before Robert had managed to clear his throat and reply with, "Yes, well…by 'changes' do you mean-?"

"Up to a full repeal."

Raziel!

"Angel above, Kitagawa!"

Robert had taken a gulp of his wine after his shout but didn't, or maybe couldn't, continue.

"Now you understand why I need extra support. As I'm sure you know, I lost my wife and youngest boy fifteen years ago to a demon horde attack. All I have left is my oldest and despite my many attempts to change his mind, Kazuo has decided on a human girl. He won't have anyone else." He had paused then, as if to get himself together.

"Even if we still had the Mortal Cup or we recover it from Valentine, she has sworn against Ascending to become a shadowhunter and Kazuo has made himself honor bound to protect her decision."

Alec had understood then why Kitagawa had come to them. A shadowhunter marrying a mundane. One who refused to try and become a Nephilim. It was one of the few taboo relationships actually codified into Law. Even as frowned upon as it was, as a US based shadowhunter Alec could still marry Magnus, a warlock and a man, without actually breaking the Law. He'd be ostracized for it but not de-runed. While it would be difficult and likely would take years, he could even probably have his marriage formally recognized by Idris long before Kazuo Kitagawa could for his marriage to the mundane girl he loved.

Alec had aggressively ignored the slight flutter that rose in his heart when he thought about marriage and Magnus in the same sentence. It was far too soon in their relationship to bring up that particular topic so he let it recede back into his subconscious.

Instead, Alec had slowly glanced towards his mother, the real reason Kitagawa had proposed an alliance with the Lightwood family.

The entire time the Japanese man had spoken, Maryse had sat quiet in her corner of the couch. Her face had been locked in a rictus of discomfort and her hand had trembled slightly as it had gripped her wineglass.

Alec did not know much about the story since his mother rarely talked about it but Max Trueblood, Maryse's older brother and Alec's only maternal uncle, had been very similar to Kazuo Kitagawa. Before Alec had been born, even before Maryse had left the Academy as a child, Uncle Max had renounced his shadowhunter heritage and run off with his mundane lover so he could marry her, never to be seen or heard from again.

Alec and his siblings had heard rumors but none of them had dared to talk to Maryse about it. The only reason Alec had even learned that Uncle Max existed was because Maryse had chosen to name their little brother after him when he was born. It was the first and last time she had ever talked about him.

Leaving the Clave and your shadowhunter life was a serious and potentially deadly choice. The shadowhunter was stripped of their runes, denied contact with any other shadowhunter including their family, and most critically they were denied all protections of Covenant Law. Even Downworlders fell under the protection of the Law and had some say in the Accords. Even natural born mundanes could hope to be protected by a Nephilim if they were being attacked by demon or denizen of the Shadow World. De-runed shadowhunters were anathema. Even if they were wailing in agony as demons ripped them apart ten feet away from a shadowhunter, that shadowhunter was not allowed to help them or risk de-runing themselves. According to the Law as it stands, that is.

Alec had had to admit it was not a Law he had ever had to think about much. He was not overly fond of mundanes at all— _alright, I hate them_ —and the only people he had ever felt a serious romantic attraction to had been Jace and Magnus, both part of the Shadow World. The likelihood of him wanting to marry a mundane was nonexistent and, honestly, laughable. He was, however, extremely familiar with fear of de-runing and banishment as that was the punishment for falling in love with your parabatai. While his…complicated feelings for loving both a man and his brother had twisted him up so much for years, fear of being stripped of his runes and cast out from his family had certainly put the nail in the coffin of any thought he had about confessing those feelings.

He had had a lot of violent nightmares about re-runing and being torn apart by demons growing up. Many of which had resurfaced in recent months only now featuring Izzy as well since Aldertree just _loved_ to use de-runing as a threat against his family.

Maryse had still not spoken and her fingers had been turning white with her grip on her wine glass. Seeing his mother falter when it came to things like this at least was never easy or fun for Alec and he had moved forward to help her rally. He had taken her hand around her glass, cupping the small appendage with his own massive one as he used the motion of taking her glass to cover up his small comfort. The brief moment of contact had knocked her out of whatever stupor she had fallen into and she had given him a quick smile in thanks. He had moved back, glass in hand, as she spoke.

"So, Kitagawa, it's me you hope will support you."

"My apologies, Maryse, I know this is a…difficult topic for you but I am desperate to solve this and I don't really have time to be polite about it. You have an experience with…unorthodox shadowhunter romances in your family and I believe the reforms I am thinking of pushing will help all of us in more ways than one."

Kitagawa's gaze had then alighted on Alec for the first time since he had entered their home and introduced himself. Maryse and Robert had both followed his eyes to Alec who had been standing to the side of them all, filling Maryse's glass of wine from the decanter.

Well…of course. "Unorthodox romance." Right. Alec had expected his open relationship with Magnus to be a topic of gossip in Idris but he had certainly not anticipated it being the impetus for a potential political alliance. Quite the opposite, in fact. After the failed Branwell marriage, he had thought political alliances would be closed to him at least.

Alec had straightened rigidly and moved to hand Maryse's glass back to her.

"I'm sure," Maryse had said acerbically as she accepted the drink.

Kitagawa continued, "Kazuo has already threatened to leave several times. Even removing how- Even if I were to ignore my love for him and what it would mean to no longer see him, I am also a politician. I have to think of my family's legacy. I would have no guarantee that his children would wish to join our ranks as they grew older outside of our society and, unfortunately unlike other families, _I_ do not have any other children to carry on my line, to offer in marriage, or to offer up as a Sister or Brother to recover our honor. The disgrace would eradicate my influence in the Clave. Thousands of people rely on that. I cannot allow this."

Maryse had slashed her hand in front of her face and said, "You don't have to explain to me the consequences of banishment. I know them very well."

She had glanced then at his father, so quick Alec had almost missed it. Robert had shifted uneasily and sipped at his own wine, avoiding eye contact with everyone. Suddenly several disjointed puzzle pieces that had risen in his mind due to his parents' marital trouble had fallen into neat interlocking rows. Alec had bit back a bewildered scoff.

The families of shadowhunters who had voluntarily left their society were ridiculed and bullied terribly for the shame. It was common to blame the de-runed shadowhunter's home life and upbringing for their wrong choice. For how could _anyone_ choose to leave the blessed Nephilim? Who would turn away from such an exalted and sacred duty to be less than? There must be _something_ amiss. Their parents had clearly failed to instill within them the proper values. Maybe there's something wrong with the whole bloodline…something unnatural.

Alec could see it clearly. The moment he had seen his mother's glance, an image had been drawn across his mind in vivid detail. A young teen Maryse recently abandoned by her beloved brother, social pariah among her classmates, and suddenly finding herself to be wholly responsible for the entire Trueblood legacy. A young Robert Lightwood, looking for a suitable match, offering his hand in marriage to a fellow Circle member aligned with his own creed. Of course Maryse had said 'yes.' The Lightwoods were a storied and ancient family of shadowhunters bursting at the seams with prestige, unfortunate kerfuffle with Benedict the Slug notwithstanding.

So much of his parents' marriage had made sense to Alec in that moment. The fights, the staunch formality…oh, Alec had no doubt in his mind that at least Maryse had loved his father. The nights he had heard her crying alone in her room with Robert nowhere to be found this week while they had been at the conference attested to the feelings that she must've had. Perhaps Robert had loved her the same when they were younger. But Alec _knew_ his mother. He knew exactly and in intimate detail how her love had a caveat for duty. He was certain that Maryse had fallen in love with Robert yet he was _also_ certain she had made damn sure to only allow herself to love a man who could also help her family's position. His mother was complicated like that.

After the minuscule glance shot at his father, Maryse had said, "While I appreciate your candor, what you are proposing is…a bit overwhelming. It has been over _four hundred years_ since the mundane marriage ban was ratified and over two hundred since it was amended to allow for Ascension. I can't imagine that you think you can change centuries of tradition in a few years."

Robert had shifted then and said, "I agree. Even on the off chance we pass these reforms within our lifetime, it could take years, maybe even decades before we saw any movement. Will it even help, considering your son's urgency?"

 _Fair point,_ Alec had thought.

Kitagawa had given a short nod as well. "All true. But young people are fickle and, let's be honest, easy to manage when something they desire is dangled in front of them. My son could discover that this grand love he professes is not all what it seems and leave the girl. Or perhaps she could leave him. Or she changes her mind about Ascension and chooses to join our ranks. Or-"

"Or, with the help of my husband and me, we pass your reforms and your son is allowed to marry as he pleases and any children he has with this girl remain in your influence."

"Exactly. All I need is time."

Even though he had felt a little insulted at the older man's backhanded comments about young shadowhunters in love, Alec had had to admit Kitagawa's suggested alliance was an advantageous one for the Lightwoods and, if reform was truly his goal, for Kitagawa as well. More than, really. Covenant Reform was a notoriously difficult affair as change happened extremely slowly in the Clave. Alec had known well how hidebound and stubborn shadowhunter society could be even if based solely on the subtle snubbing he had encountered in Idris after his wedding debacle.

Alec had been somewhat uncomfortable with the idea of being a part of any plan to string along Kazuo Kitagawa and his fiancé but ultimately he had dismissed those thoughts. He didn't even know the guy but he was an adult in his own right and what happened in Kitagawa's family was their business. Kazuo or his fiancé would either wise up to his father's plans or they wouldn't and it wasn't Alec's responsibility to interfere. He had enough on his plate with his own family.

Maryse had hummed contemplatively, sipped from her wine glass, and that was that. His parents had bid Kitagawa goodbye and the three had discussed everything into the wee hours of the morning. Ultimately they had agreed to take Kitagawa up on his offer and had discreetly moved to let him know that the alliance was accepted.

Now, in the Council Hall, as Alec stood before the assembly of senior Clave members, that alliance was coming to fruition even in this small way.

The entire hall of dignitaries shifted then grew silent when Makoto Kitagawa spoke up. Everyone was stunned at his interruption. Simply by answering what could've been taken as a rhetorical question from Alec's mother in an argument that had nothing to do with him or his Institute, Kitagawa had very concisely and tacitly let everyone in the room know about the newly minted Lightwood-Kitagawa partnership.

Winterwell's face grew red in apoplexy and Maryse blazed in triumph, a wild smile pulling at the edges of her mouth as she continued to dismiss Winterwell.

"As for your no doubt altruistic concerns over my family's fertility and the genetic viability of the _three_ biological Lightwood children and one adopted child, I believe that is a confidential matter privy only to family members unless specially mandated by the Council. I'm afraid, Bartholomew, you will have to file for a new meeting to release those records."

She swept her long eyelashes down to her cheeks which Alec knew was his cue.

Alec moved out of his resting stance, adjusted the fit of his suit jacket, and smoothed the lay of his tie. He stepped forward to take command of the podium once more.

"Lord Consul Dieudonne, Madame Inquisitor Herondale, and esteemed dignitaries…as _illuminating_ as this discussion has been when it comes to Councilman Winterwell's _well documented_ opinion on the Lightwood leadership of the New York Conclave, I believe it might be a discussion for another time. It was my understanding that we are here to discuss war strategy against Valentine Morgenstern and the Circle."

Alec took a moment to let his words settled in the Hall. Not too long, however, since he didn't want anyone to interrupt before he could finish.

"I am, of course, happy to change topics to the New York Conclave's recent leadership difficulties. I admit that I had not anticipated speaking on this topic as the Lord Consul _specifically_ called a war meeting so I did not ask the Clave clerks to print for you all of the requisite material for that discussion."

Alec gestured towards Victor, sitting silently in his place but letting his face show his distaste for Alec. "However, I have logged 37 detailed reports during Victor Aldertree's time as Interim Institute Head as well as 12 reports of my own observations after I was reinstated 6 months ago _following_ Valentine's infiltration of the Institute. I'm sure we can have 202 copies of each of them printed and distributed to your esteemed selves before _too_ long so that we might all go over the exact details of the situation."

Here he glanced over to the Clave stenographers' booth. Behind the scribes typing away on their antiquated machines were three clerks who were usually used to run errands while meetings were in session. Each and every one of them looked terrified at the idea that they might have to fill Alec's request. While Alec usually found the technological disadvantages of Alicante to be extremely frustrating and definitely preferred the high tech environment encouraged in New York, here their outdated practices were to his advantage.

The heavy wards around Idris and especially Alicante prevented the use of a lot of modern technology and the Clave was reluctant to allow warlocks into the sacred city to provide updates to their ward systems in order to fix that. Only Institutes at the front lines had seen the benefits of modern tech and fully utilized it.

As a result of the Clave's uncompromising conservatism, the only working computer in all of the capital city sat next to the only working phone right there in the Gard where Clave meetings were held. However, both computer and printer were horribly outdated and it would take hours to print 202 copies of every single report Alec had ever made about Aldertree's leadership. While the meeting could go into recess during that time, no one would be able to leave. The Gard closed its doors while meetings were in session and only reopened them once the Consul called them to an end. It was approaching early evening on the last day of meetings and they had already been in this one session since early morning. No one wanted to extend this slog of bureaucracy longer than necessary.

As he glanced around the Hall, Alec could tell everyone in the room felt just about the same as the Clave clerks. No one breathed at the mere thought of having to wait through another recess.

Still, Alec decided to push it a bit more and continued with, "Of course, if my individual reports are not sufficient material and are deemed biased, we can also include all of the reports from Former Head Victor Aldertree himself followed by all of the reports of senior Institute personnel. I'm sure during a _hopefully_ short recess, our capable Clave clerks could print-"

"That will _not_ be necessary…thank you, Mr. Lightwood, yes." It was Consul Malachi Dieudonne who had spoken. His voice was a bit thin and high pitched as he leapt to stop Alec from finishing his sentence.

The Hall exhaled.

"Yes, Mr. Lightwood is correct. I called this conference for a specific purpose and it is appropriate that we move back to the topic at hand. Mainly, Valentine and the Soul Sword."

Winterwell was shaken from his fit of anger. "But, Lord Consul-"

"Yes, _yes_. If you must insist on continuing this, Bartholomew, lodge a request with my office and the meeting will be placed on the docket. We will continue with the New York Conclave war report. This discussion is over."

Alec very carefully adjusted the paperwork he had laid out on the podium and met Winterwell's enraged gaze directly. He stopped himself from the pettiness of a smirk.

After that Alec finished his report without too much interruption. He detailed Magnus' and Luke's suggested ideas about what Valentine was planning next based on Luke's history as the man's parabatai and Magnus' knowledge of his grimoire and the uses of a flipped Soul Sword. When he knew he was going to be called for a meeting, Alec had asked the two men to give him their opinions so that he could at least convey their knowledge in Idris second hand even though the Clave had not thought to include the Downworlders despite their clear capability and personal experiences. He made sure to mention their names on their reports as he read them word for word as written.

He put forth his own suggestion that the Clave move to increase and repair diplomatic relations with the Seelie Queen, after the damage that was done previously by himself and Lydia. He capped it off by suggesting that the Clave also work more closely with the Spiral Labyrinth to request the help of the warlocks and their multiple millennia's worth of magical knowledge. They could prove extremely useful with both tightening the wards of Institutes worldwide and countering whatever plans Valentine had for the Mortal Instruments.

Alec had no hope they would take his suggestions or care what Luke and Magnus had reported but at least he could say he gave it everything he had.

While there had been a bit of discussion while the Clave members went over the end of his report, the Consul concluded the meeting before another hour could pass. To say it was a relief to finally be done with the weeklong conference was an understatement.

The meeting ended just as the last bit of light faded from the horizon. The windows edging the ceiling of the Hall had let Alec keep track of the time. General Clave attendees, Councilmembers, and administrative staff poured from the meeting hall as quickly as possible. Everyone was eager to get home. The next morning everyone who came in from outside of Idris would be set to portal out. Alec was definitely planning to turn in early so he could catch an early portal schedule. He could not leave soon enough.

He missed Magnus.

His phone didn't work in Idris and the wards had been locked down even further around Alicante because of the security around the war conference. Even fire messages were currently blocked from being sent between the shadowhunter city and the mundane world unless they were Council approved. He hadn't spoken to Magnus all week.

Just outside of the doors of the hall stood Alec's parents, Makoto Kitagawa, and Nasreen Chaudhury who was the current Head of the Mumbai Institute. They were speaking in low voices with each other but their faces were pleasant so everything seemed to be going well. Behind the group, close enough to be called over but far enough not to interrupt, were three secretaries waiting for their respective Institute Heads.

His mother saw him first and extended her hand to him, a wide smile stretched across her face.

"Alec, dear, come here. We have decided to invite our friends to a small dinner to celebrate our new relationship with Makoto. I sent a fire message during afternoon recess to let Annabelle know."

He approached the group and his parents' secretary named Charles Greenleaf, Annabelle's little brother, moved forward to take Alec's presentation portfolio and stepped back into line with the rest of the staff. Annabelle and Charles worked for his parents while they were in Alicante. The twins were Nephilim in their own right but a genetic anomaly shared by both had made it difficult for them to take runes safely. They had nearly died when they'd gotten their first runes. To fulfill their duty to the Clave, they had both moved into politics and administrative roles instead. They had been employed by his parents for the last five years or so to assist them whenever they were called to Idris.

Alec took his mother's outstretched hand, folding it around his bent elbow as was expected of him when in front of other dignitaries, even allies like these. Usually his father would escort his mother in this way but considering their estrangement that was obviously not going to happen. As Maryse's oldest son, it would not look overly strange for Alec to escort her instead but anyone who knew the Lightwoods well might find the new arrangement curious.

Nasreen Chaudhury took one look at Alec and Maryse then flicked her eyes to Robert. She had made absolutely no other suspicious facial expression but Alec knew from just that look that Nasreen knew exactly what was happening.

"Alec, excellent work today. I see your mother has taught you well," she said. Her voice was deep and smooth, her Indian accent complemented by a cadence meant to put one at ease.

The Lightwoods and the Chaudhury family had been allies for several generations. Ever since the Academy had been shut down in the 90s, their children would apprentice with the other's family for long periods for their education. Alec and his siblings had often lived at the Mumbai Institute or at the Chaudhury manor in Idris when not in New York. Max was in Mumbai now, in fact. Alec had many good memories of living with Nasreen. She had been a very exacting tutor, especially with javelin training as that was her personal weapon. When he had taken more to the bow, she had been utterly heartbroken but had encouraged him to pursue perfection either way. For Izzy, she had personally overseen her in _savuku_ work. Most of Izzy's skill with a whip came from that close interaction when they were young.

"Councilwoman, thank you. I hope Max hasn't tried a repeat of when he last tried to burn your Institute down."

Nasreen gave out a short peel of laughter. "No, no…we're still standing, thank the Angel. He's almost as bad as Jace but he's been much better since his Rune Ceremony. And while I appreciate the formality while we're in session, I am not nearly as strict as your mother so you can drop it when we are not. We've known each other too long for anything less."

Alec smiled. "Aunty, of course."

The wrinkles around her eyes shifted as her smile widened. She adjusted her gold and black sari as she extended her hand towards him and he kissed the air above her fingers as prompted. The dark brown skin of the back of her hand was smooth beneath his thumb but her palm was covered in callouses, the work of a seasoned warrior regardless of her years as a stateswoman.

"How is my nephew? He never messages anymore."

"Raj is…Raj. He's very dedicated to his work." Alec gave an awkward smile.

Nasreen raised a rounded eyebrow. "So he's being a little brat, is he?"

"I absolutely did not say that."

She hummed good-naturedly, "Well, tell him to call his mother. Priya has been beside herself thinking about him after that close call with that demon but too stubborn to message first."

Alec grew solemn at the memory of the demon that had possessed him and killed Jocelyn. "I will," he replied with a firm nod.

Raj was a Chaudhury from out of Mumbai originally, Nasreen's nephew by marriage, and just like Alec and his siblings he had often apprenticed in New York along with a couple other kids from Nasreen's family. When he'd turned eighteen and sworn loyalty to the Clave, he had started his career working in Alicante but four and a half years ago, he had requested to permanently be assigned to New York and had transitioned from Idris accordingly. They had all known each other on and off for nearly twenty years now and though he was two years older than Alec they had gotten along just fine. It was only in recent months that things had turned a bit sour between them all. Alec made a note to try and figure out what that was about and repair it. Even if only so he could look Nasreen in the eye.

The group made its way down the winding corridors toward the entrance and Maryse continued the dinner conversation, "Patrick isn't able to stay and caught an early portal out of Idris. He and Jia were sent on an urgent mission. Aline is still at the Penhallow home here in the city however so I invited her to stop by a little later with Helen Blackthorn."

"The delegate from the Los Angeles Institute? Whatever for?" asked Kitagawa in a curious tone.

"Yes, well…they have recently struck up an… _intimate_ acquaintance."

Alec startled a little and glance down to his mother. She was very deliberately looking ahead of her as the group dodged busy shadowhunters rushing through the hallways.

Kitagawa looked equally shocked. "Well…times are certainly changing." He avoiding looking at Alec but everyone understood what was left unspoken.

This was news to Alec in several ways. He had known Aline from when he and his siblings were children. Maryse, Robert, and Patrick Penhallow had been very close friends as teenagers. Alec later learned that Patrick had also been in the Circle, though the man had left them before the group had turned into terrorists. He'd run off to the Beijing Institute and married the young shadowhunter Jia Ke against his family's wishes.

The ex-Circle members had maintained their friendship, however, and their kids had played together whenever they were in Idris. They didn't see each other often, and in recent years not at all, however they all got along well when they did. The last time he had seen Aline he had been eighteen, Jace and Aline had been sixteen, and Izzy had just turned fifteen. They had all been attending a wedding together. He thought he had known her fairly well but he had _not_ known she was…that she liked women.

Actually, Alec was pretty sure he remembered that after the wedding Jace had told him he and Aline had kissed while they were adventuring out in the Brocelind Forest. Though…Alec flashed back to Lydia, _I have a female ex-fiancé, so I guess a kiss doesn't mean anything. Plus there's Magnus who's bisexual so…why am I still thinking about this? It's none of my business._

The only vehicles available in Alicante with its heavy wards were pre-80s junkers operating partially on magic or outright horse and buggies if your family wanted to _really_ lean in to the gothic aesthetic. Alec's parents had always skewed more to modernity when it came to technology at least so they had recently bought a large town car from 1976. Plus, they didn't often stay in Idris so they didn't have to worry about long term care of a horse. Charles drove, however, as Alec had yet to learn that particular skill.

Now that he thought about it, maybe he should learn how to drive. It got annoying always asking Simon to take their group places when they couldn't portal. As the oldest, he should really set the example for his siblings and learn first. Although he would rather die than learn from Simon.

 _I wonder if Magnus can drive,_ Alec mused. _He can just portal everywhere but he also can do everything and anything so..._ Alec smiled at the image of Magnus behind the wheel of a car. His man was knowledgeable in so many fields, it wouldn't surprise him at all. _Would he teach me?_

Alec wondered if it would be more or less embarrassing to have Magnus teach him to drive. Still, anything would be better than learning from the vampire. Alec made a mental note to talk to Magnus about it when he got home.

The group dispatched to their separate vehicles, promising to meet at the Lightwood town home within two hours. Alec and his parents made it home quickly and Alec led his mother inside before they parted. He was eager to pack before the guests arrived for their impromptu dinner so that he could sleep right after they finished and get his early start.

When the last of the guests did arrive, it was just before 7 in the evening and Alec was the one who let them in. He opened the door to greet Aline and Helen.

The two women were both petite, Aline standing just at Izzy's height while Helen was an inch or so taller. They were both dressed in light jackets over dark pants suits and silk blouses; Helen's shirt was in cobalt and Aline's in emerald. Aline's blouse rose high around her neck, spilling in some kind of lace ruffle just below her chin and her short cut bob hair. Helen's shirt was a button down with a pointed collar. They were linked at the arms as they entered and moved in tandem.

Alec smiled a little and put out his hand for a shake while saying, "Aline, welcome."

"Alec."

"It's been a really long time."

"Five years?"

"That's right. The Pangborn wedding. It's good to see you."

"And you." She gestured to the woman next to her. "This is Helen Blackthorn. I'm sure you've seen her around this week but I'm not sure if you've been formally introduced."

Alec turned to Helen and extended his hand to her as well. Helen Blackthorn was delicate and lovely with gold hair curling in big rings. She had pulled her hair back from her face and Alec could see her pointed ears peaking from the sides. Helen was half-faerie on her mother's side.

A unique situation as it was rumored her father had been kidnapped to the Seelie Court and "seduced by the magical world and a duplicitous fae woman." Years later, after the man had married a shadowhunter and had several children, Helen and her brother Mark were left on the Los Angeles Institute's doorstep for Andrew Blackthorn and his wife to raise.

The scandal had been before his time really but the stories hadn't quite gone away and had definitely resurfaced a few years ago when Helen had been appointed to the Council. A half-faerie woman on the Clave Council? It was astonishing to say the least. Being half-downworlder meant malicious rumors were always being spread about her loyalties. Alec thought it must be even harder now that she was openly in a relationship with another woman but he also thought it would be rude to talk about so he just shook her hand and decided to avoid both topics until she brought it up.

He had seen her all week as Aline had thought but they'd had no reason to speak to each other. Her palm was cool in his. She gave a firm shake, a quick nod, and a polite smile.

"Councilwoman Blackthorn."

"Well met, Mr. Lightwood. Your war report was excellent today. Definitely a session to be remembered."

They all stood awkwardly for a moment. It was strange acting so formally with someone he had known since he was a toddler. He was still in 'Acting Head' mode and it was clashing with his memories of rolling around in the dirt with Aline and his siblings when they were 8.

He could tell Aline felt the same. She shifted uncomfortably then perked her head up as if suddenly having an idea. A wicked smile shot across her face.

"So…I'm gay and you're gay, how about that?"

Alec sucked in a breath and his eyes widened. All of his training flew out the window as his mouth gaped. He had been trying so hard to be Acting Head all week and in a split second Aline had managed to revert him back to a teenager. He had no idea how to even start to respond.

"Aline!" Helen looked equally as scandalized as Alec.

"What? Somebody had to say something. Let's be honest, that's the main reason Maryse even invited me regardless of the fact that my parents are gone."

Alec had to admit the thought had crossed his mind once he found out that Aline and Helen were involved. It didn't matter however as he still couldn't speak a full sentence.

"Ah…yes, right. Um…what?"

Ask Alec to give a rundown of military drills and he could rattle them off the top of his head for hours. Ask Alec to talk with someone about his sexuality and he turned into a babbling infant.

Helen turned her shocked face to Alec. "I am so sorry about that. You don't have to talk to me about anything."

Alec straightened his back and shook his head, "No, it's fine. I'm…fine. I'm not- I can talk about anything, Aline. Councilwoman. It's _fine_."

Aline's smile dimmed slightly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought- I didn't know- I mean, you kissed him at your own wedding! It was all over Idris for _weeks_."

That's when Alec understood. Of course. Aline had just been trying to break the ice after so many years apart. How was she to know he'd act like a complete idiot?

Aline's smile disappeared completely. "I'm sorry. I only just told my mom and dad so…I mean, I know how scary it is. I just thought-" She licked her lips nervously. "All the rumors were going around how you tossed aside an arranged marriage and just went for it so…I thought maybe for you it was different."

"No, no…it's fine. I was just- I'm not _ashamed_ of Magnus or- or myself or anything. I'm just not really used to people talking about it so directly. Other than Jace and Izzy and a couple friends, I mean. Everyone else just kind of…ignores it, you know?"

"Yeah," she said softly and a sad look crossed her face like she was thinking about someone specific.

Helen took a long look at both of them then said, "Well, we've come full circle back to awkward, haven't we? Anyway, call me 'Helen' not 'Councilwoman.' We're the same age, by the Angel."

Alec's body relaxed. "Call me 'Alec' then."

He motioned the two women deeper into the house. "Dinner will be served in about twenty minutes or so. Everyone is having drinks in the parlor until then. I can take your jackets and any weapons if you have them and don't want to wear them. You can set the weapons on the rack there."

Helen flashed a smile and shrugged out of her jacket, handing it over. She tapped lightly at her right leg and a glamoured holster revealed itself. She unbuckled the seraph blade and set it on the weapons rack to the left of the entryway. She moved forward to the door he had waved to and looked back to wait. Aline gave the woman a look, shook her head slightly, and motioned her to go first. Helen nodded and disappeared into the parlor.

Aline removed her jacket and stretched it out to him but when he grabbed it, she didn't let go. He looked up in confusion.

She licked her lips. "I'm- really sorry…about before."

"Really, it's fine."

She shook her head sharply then looked him directly in the eye. "I want you to know that I really do admire what you did. A lot of us do. After everyone heard what you did, that's when- Anyway, I told my parents about me three weeks later."

Aline had rendered Alec speechless again.

"If I hadn't've come out to my parents then, I wouldn't have had the chance to be with Helen so, thanks, I guess…"

When Alec didn't say anything, still feeling struck, Aline averted her gaze. She shoved her jacket the rest of the way into his hands, unbuckled and hung up her own seraph blade, then hurried through to the parlor.

He had never thought anyone would see what had happened at his wedding like _that_. From the outside Alec guessed that moment probably painted a very grandiose, romantic, and dashing image of him. He hadn't felt brave though. Just scared and lonely and like he was going to pass out. When Magnus had shown up, glittering and beautiful and a little sad, Alec had felt like he was drowning and someone had thrown him a rope to pull himself up. He had just been trying to survive. Kissing Magnus had felt like he was finally above water. It had all been desperation not bravery.

He'd had no idea what he was doing and he had followed up that impulsive moment with a rapid two weeks of the most awkward and fumbling mistakes he thought anyone could make in a new relationship. It was honestly a miracle Magnus still wanted to be with him. But he did. He did want to be with him and Alec couldn't imagine his life any other way anymore.

Aline had said Alec's wedding helped her live the life she wanted? Well, good. Alec hadn't set out to do anything like that but if Aline felt about Helen even half of what Alec felt for Magnus, then he was thankful his decision helped her. He wouldn't want to take this feeling away from anyone.

Alec exhaled a small breath and gave a wry smile. Then he neatly hung Helen and Aline's jackets in the hallway closet and followed them into the parlor.

* * *

A/N: Well…how about that? This is way longer than I'd planned. I also went way deeper into mixing book and show mythology and exploring ideas of shadowhunter politics than I thought. It kinda…got away from me but I decided to keep it and expand the story forwards.

Leave me some comments. I'll try to have the next part up soon. I'm hoping I'll be done after 1-2 more chapters but we'll see. I'm flying by the seat of my pants at this point. lmao


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Well, here we are. Sorry this took longer. My personal life got hella busy so I didn't have time to write. To make up for the wait, it's a really long chapter though. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 3

Alec leaped from the portal into a dark alleyway. A low growl eased out of the shadows from beneath a dumpster and when Alec glanced over, he could see the shining eyes of a cat peeking out at him. The swirling magical vortex snapped shut behind him and the cat screeched before darting from its hiding place, down the alley, and around the corner onto the street proper. The cat, a calico, seemed strangely familiar and Alec wondered if he'd seen it on Magnus' rooftop veranda before. Alec straightened his leather jacket, hefted his large duffle over the shoulder not burdened by his bow and set to follow the cat onto the street.

Alec had caught an early portal from Idris but the time difference meant it was even earlier in New York. It was still dark out though the streets were already filling up with the noisy cars of mundanes who woke and went to work before six-thirty.

He had decided to portal to Magnus' instead of to the Institute. A bit derelict of his duty but he honestly didn't care. He had spent the entire week trying to do his duty within the rigid confines of Clave politics. He deserved the morning off, at least. Jace and Izzy could manage a few more hours without him and they'd understand anyway. Besides, shadowhunters had late mornings since most of their work took place at night. They slept in often, their "mornings" ending up being everyone else's "afternoons."

His mother, however, would not appreciate where he was going which is why he absolutely didn't tell her or Robert his plans. Although, considering how much his mother had been awkwardly trying to accept that her son was gay and in love with a downworlder, maybe she would have simply given him a pinched look and a tight kiss on the cheek. Alec thought it best not to risk another drawn out argument either way.

Alec zipped his jacket tighter against the chill of the fall morning air and jogged lightly across the street when the traffic slowed. He'd had to portal to the alley across from Magnus' building as the Idris portal was most definitely not keyed to Magnus' standard wards.

Months before Alec would have knocked or rang or called if he came over without notice but Magnus had keyed him into the wards long before Alec had expected him to and the older man had given him a physical key outright soon after. Even the building's concierges, all downworlders, knew who he was on sight now and Alec gave the pixie who normally manned the lobby at this time a nod as he strode past to the elevators. The big, gruff man with pale green skin and pointed ears gave a solemn nod back, his prism butterfly wings fluttering delicately behind him.

When he got into the loft, it was quiet. Not unusual now that Jace was no longer living there bringing home unknown people to sleep with at all hours of the night. No sharp giggling, no low murmuring to remind Alec that he and Magnus weren't ever alone. Now they could be. Alec smiled.

Or so he had thought.

Alec eased into Magnus' living room and his wide eyes took in the site.

A low lamp casted a golden glow onto everything. Magnus' living room looked like a kindergarten playroom had exploded next to a glitter factory and Magnus and a familiar little warlock girl lay in the midst of it, bystanders caught in a sparkly blast.

Both Magnus and Madzie were dead center on his carpet, surrounded on all sides by torn bits of construction paper, broken crayons, and plastic toys that looked pretty horribly misshapen, honestly. One of Magnus' cats, patterned in black and white, was napping near the balcony door as well. Alec gave a bit of a puzzled look.

The warlocks were both in comfortable clothes, like they were going for a work out. Magnus had vanished his coffee table completely and he was on his stomach, face turned away from Alec and the shadowhunter slowly made his way around to see him.

Alec bit back a laugh, muffling it with his hand, but nearly lost it when he saw Madzie too. Both had somehow managed to face plant into two separate piles of multi-colored glitter. It was scattered through Madzie curly hair and patched onto Magnus' beard and all up one cheek.

Hysterical.

Alec wheezed with the effort to keep his laughter silent and his eyes squeezed shut as a result. He dropped a few tears as he backed away slowly, trying hard not to step on a stray Lego while he contained his heaving torso. He got himself under control only after about ten minutes.

The loft was a bit warm, overly so, likely to accommodate Madzie as she ran cold herself and needed extra warmth often. Alec set down his bag in Magnus' bedroom and stripped off his bow and jacket too.

He hesitated then decided to grab one of Magnus' blankets, charmed to stay warm, and brought it out to drape it over the little girl. She snuggled into the new warmth immediately and Alec knew it had been the right decision. He decided not to do the same for Magnus as the sweat on his brow and the fact that Alec knew Magnus ran hot proved that he would not appreciate more heat.

Alec stood back from the two warlocks he had probably known longer and more intimately than any other downworlders in his life. His hands were braced on his hips, arms akimbo, and feet set wide while he watched them sleep.

It was a familiar thing now to see Madzie here in Magnus' loft. Something must've happened again with Madzie's placement. Alec knew Magnus was having a hard time dealing with the fallout from Iris Rouse's trafficking ring and Madzie's placement had been especially stressful the last few months. The girl would not stay in one place and the only time she seemed even remotely content was when she knew she was staying with Magnus.

Alec could see the weight of his perceived failure to help Madzie pushing down on Magnus more and more as the months had worn on and the families he placed her with turned out bust. There had been several times Alec had come across the warlock sitting at his office desk sadly looking over the girl's paperwork.

Alec had decided to wait for Magnus to come to him when it came to this. He felt like it was probably a really complex situation that Alec could only glimpse the edges of even while Magnus saw the whole of it. He had no doubt his man would come up with a solution. Magnus was wise like that. He only had to wait for Magnus to tell him.

Alec stayed watching the two warlocks for a couple minutes longer then he came to a decision, gave a sharp nod, and strode confidently from the room.

* * *

To say Magnus woke up feeling like hot garbage would be an understatement.

His mouth tasted like a horse's ass, his back was aching, his face itched terribly, he had a splitting headache, and his left leg had gone numb. Worst of all there was a beam of sunlight blasting the back of his eyelids with a red corona of pain for his pupils to absorb.

The only time he could recall waking up feeling as bad was that time he had gotten so unendingly wasted at Lady Aranisia's 13th Decennial Bacchanalia that he had awoken buck naked, covered in some kind of slime he absolutely did not care to investigate, pressed face first into some woman's crotch. The hangover had been excruciating. The moment he had moved, he had immediately vomited up every bit of feast dinner and every drop of satyr wine he had imbibed the several nights before—what a wild week that had been—at his friend Caravino's request.

The wine had been enchanted to help one remember what they did while they drank it. Unfortunately, remembering what you did during a Downworld Bacchus orgy during the 18th century probably was the worst thing to do. The memories stayed clear in his mind even centuries later. The memory spell on that wine skin had been the stuff of legends, really.

Somehow he thought maybe this experience was worse.

Magnus jerked up hissing a bit at the light streaming through his balcony and tried to scramble into some kind of shade. It took him a minute to remember what was happening. When his bleary eyes had adjusted, he could see a rolled up bundle of blankets sporting curly brown hair lying next to his couch. Madzie.

He smiled in endearment even though his brain felt like it wanted to melt out of his eyeballs.

Magnus was not waking from a regular sleep. While they were practicing last night, Madzie had accidentally zapped both of them and the cat directly into unconsciousness. She had been aiming for Domino, which he had expressly asked her not to do, but she had been excited over seeing a new spell in one of his books and had tried it out herself. It was an advanced spell that required tight control or else you could accidentally put out a city block plus yourself. His wards had contained the blast but Magnus, Madzie, and Domino had not been unaffected.

It was a relatively harmless spell while you were asleep and wore off after a few hours but if you didn't cast carefully you would wake up from it hurting like hell. Magnus rubbed life back into his left leg and decided to wait until he could make the counteracting tonic before disturbing Madzie and Domino. That way he could cure them immediately upon waking them, before their migraines grew too large. Like his currently was, he grimaced.

It was then that he noticed the smell.

Permeating his loft was the succulent aroma of frying sausages, eggs, toast, possibly ham, and—he sniffed—cornbread? The scraping of utensils and a light clatter of pans told the story of someone home cooking. That must have been what woke him.

Magnus was a fair hand at the stove himself but he hadn't had time to cook like that in nearly a year. His duties as High Warlock had taken a sharp turn up in that time.

There was only one other person who bothered to cook in Magnus' loft these days. Magnus smiled through the pain of his migraine again. Alexander.

He got to his feet a little wobbly, tried to straighten his wrinkled jogging clothes, and stumbled back to the kitchen. As he went he waved a blue lit hand to close the heavy curtains of his living room windows. He was pretty grateful no one was around or awake to see him accidentally step on one of Madzie plastic toys with his bare foot and immediately want to die but regardless he managed to get his pained face in order before he made it to Alexander's side. No one would know, thank the heavens.

When he rounded into his kitchen, Magnus paused just inside the doorway to admire the view. Alec's back was to him as he worked over the stove. His broad shoulders moved beautifully under the stretch of his black t-shirt. His cargo pants were loose enough for combat but tight enough to give Magnus a lovely view of bum…if Alec had one. His Alec was perfect of course though Magnus had to admit he had a bit of a deficit there but that was fine because what he lacked in derriere he certainly made up for in long, shapely legs. Alec's succulent thighs tapered down to muscular calves. He had exchanged his combat boots for the house slippers Magnus had provided him.

Magnus pursued his lips. He had not seen or even been able to talk to Alec in over a week and it was definitely showing. Even his splitting headache, back ache, and the taste of some kind of hairball in his mouth hadn't deterred him from being a bit lusty. He decided to do something about it. He waved a bit of magic to freshen his breath and glided into the kitchen the rest of the way.

Alec was using a spatula to carefully push an omelet from a pan to a platter of omelets when Magnus reached him.

"Alexander."

Alec tensed in surprise then relaxed at his voice. He turned a bright and shining face to Magnus and the warlock's breath caught in his throat for a second before he managed a small smile.

"Magnus, you're awake finally."

Alec's hazel eyes shown with delight as Magnus slipped his hand across the small of his back. His cotton shirt was soft beneath Magnus' fingertips and the flesh of the younger man's waist gave a little when Magnus squeezed in affection. Alec set the pan and potholder in his hand down.

Magnus lifted his mouth to Alec to kiss, eyes shut softly.

Alec's entire torso leaned away from Magnus. "Whoa, maybe you should clean up a bit first."

Magnus' eyes snapped open and his hand came up to his chest in semi-mocking shock.

"Are you saying you won't kiss me if I have morning breath, Alexander," he asked scandalized and amused. "How dare-? Well, if you must know, I gave myself a mint charm so it should be fine." He leaned back into the taller man but shadowhunter lips still remained elusive.

"Honestly, Alexander, I really did-"

"Magnus, have you looked at yourself?"

Magnus paused in the rant. Alec had turned and braced one hand against Magnus' shoulder, holding him back while the other still held the spatula. His eyes were crinkled up in laughter and his mouth was stretched wide in glee. He really wanted to kiss Alec and this was starting to get frustrating.

Alec used the hand on Magnus' shoulder to gently steer the warlock over to the porcelain dinnerware cabinet in the corner. It had a reflective glass front and while it wasn't perfect, it was enough that Magnus could see his face. He gasped and his eyes widened in horror.

The entire right side of his face was spackled in green and purple glitter. A bit of red glitter had creeped into his goatee and down to his neck. Even his shirt suffered. It was a tragic mess. His splitting headache had meant he hadn't even noticed anything was wrong.

"What the hell happened, Magnus," Alec asked, finally letting loose the laughter he had clearly been holding inside. "I mean, I know you love glitter but did you literally have to bathe in it?"

Magnus harrumphed and turned sharply from his reflection. He irritably snapped his fingers and waved it over his own face and down his chest. Glitter and lingering make up both disappeared in a blue undulation.

"There's still some in your hair." Then Alec burst into more laughter.

"Thanks for getting amusement from my humiliation, Alexander," Magnus pouted a bit and waved more magic over his hair. He had to remove everything in order to get all of the glitter too so his hair fell limply to his forehead completely devoid of both glitter and gel.

"When you're done laughing at my pain, make me a cup of coffee, will you? I'll wake up Madzie."

Magnus' head was tilted up a little haughtily and lightly offended as he spoke. Well…embarrassed.

He made a move to leave the kitchen but before he could make it past the island in the center, Magnus felt a hand grab his wrist and pull him back. He was whirled into Alec's chest. The younger man wrapped an arm tight around his waist and dipped his head down to pull Magnus into a kiss.

His Alec's lips were soft and pillow-y and a little wet. Alec was tentative at first then grew bolder as Magnus began to respond. He had been testing his own food as he cooked and Magnus could taste honeyed ham from his mouth. His stomach grumbled a bit but Alec was too delectable for Magnus to care about that type of hunger yet.

Magnus ran his hands up Alec's muscled arms and curving back as his mouth opened for Alec's exploration. Alec made a low noise in his throat and then Magnus felt himself being pushed up to his refrigerator and his front pressed completely to Alec. A leg snuck in between his and the lusty want that had flagged a little during his humiliating glitter cleansing flared back into life. Magnus let out a moan and rocked his hips up into the young warrior before him.

They kissed like that for a short time but Magnus' headache soon started insisting he do something about it. There was a loud smack as their lips parted and Magnus struggled to get control of himself which was especially tough with Alec sucking on his ear and kissing down his neck like that.

Magnus swallowed hard and managed to croak out, "Alec. Alec, we should stop."

Alec grunted in agreement but moved his mouth to bite at his collarbone instead of actually stopping. Magnus let out a little cry then got it together to press his hands to Alec's shoulders.

"Alexander, stop."

Alec froze then seemed to come to his own senses and pulled back slowly with a sheepish grin.

"Sorry, Magnus. It's just it's…been a while."

"That it has. That is has." Magnus paused as he looked at Alec still holding him to the refrigerator even if they weren't kissing anymore. His hair was tousled from Magnus' hands and his shirt was rucked up a little to show off a bit of abs. Magnus shook his head and pushed away from the refrigerator before he lost all sense and devoured Alec.

"We'll eat at the kitchenette."

"I'm almost done with breakfast anyway. Give me ten or fifteen minutes, promise."

"I'll wake up Madzie, clean the living room, and we'll come back in here."

He gave Alec a short kiss then hurried out of the kitchen before he got distracted again or did something more embarrassing like asking to be bent over the counter.

He made it to his living room without suffering more humiliation then detoured to his work pantry off of the hallway. He bent down to peer into the glass shelving stuffed with jars and containers of magical ingredients, animal treats, finished potions, and the occasional food item. He pushed aside his extra jar of strawberry jam and found what he was looking for.

Magnus pulled carefully at a stoppered mason jar of swirling liquid colored a light lilac. On the front was a yellowing label pealing slightly on one side and written in his own calligraphy were the words "Somnus' Tears." He pulled another bottle from the cabinet set above his head labeled "Root of Aja." Inside were the thin red roots of a magical plant. They wriggled a little as he grabbed the jar and disturbed their stasis, only settling when he set it down on his desk. The last bottle was labeled "Powdered Líng Zhī" in 16th Century Chinese lettering and contained a brownish copper powder. He gathered everything and moved over to his desk. He usually mixed potions on his coffee table but he had banished it the day before to work with Madzie and he wanted to finish the quick tonic he was making before he disturbed that area and risked waking her up.

The Root of Aja was made from a magical plant found mostly in West African countries, specifically Yorubaland countries. It was very beneficial in many healing concoctions. The only way to keep the root viable as an ingredient was to separate it from its larger plant and keep it from soil. Otherwise it just tried to keep growing to spread a very tough vine as wide as possible. The vine's stalk, leaves, and flowers could be useful in other ways but for his current purposes, he needed the root.

The root twisted madly in his tweezers, trying desperately to get free, find soil, and start growing a new plant. He got control of it at last and ground it down to paste in a mortar. He mixed in a bit of the powdered líng zhī as he went until it was an even rust color. He got ready with his mortar lid in his left hand, specially made to perfectly seal in whatever he was mixing. Then he very carefully used an eye droplet to drip exactly six drops of Somnus' Tears into the powdered mixture. When done he snapped his fingers once, gave the mortar a jolt of magic, then slammed the lid over the bowl and let it work.

Magnus heard a whizzing sound as the lid beneath his hand vibrated. The Tear drops would swirl in the powdered mixture, splashing wide then beading up and spinning around the container to absorb every particle of the powder. When the bowl calmed to a quiet under his hand a few minutes later, Magnus removed the lid to inspect the results.

Inside were six beads of purple speckled with red. They would be chewy and bitter to taste but could and should be swallowed whole. He cut one pill on the upturned mortar lid into four parts, each of which re-beaded themselves instantly back into little spheres now much smaller than the others. Then he dumped the lot back into the mortar. It would due for a container for now.

Magnus turned and startled back at seeing Alexander standing a few feet away. His eyes were shaded and his face contemplative.

"What's that?"

"A bit of tonic for magical sleep symptoms. Madzie actually accidentally spelled us all to sleep. Her, me, Domino even."

Alec moved forward at that and set his calloused hand on Magnus' head as if he were a child and Alec was taking his temperature. Magnus froze in bewilderment. He had not had someone do that to him in nearly two centuries. Not since Catarina had had to nurse him back to health after his break up with Imasu and subsequent three week bender.

Alec's fingers brushed through the hair falling in Magnus' face, pushing it back to expose his forehead. His thumb rubbed lightly across an eyebrow then down to his temple. His other hand cupped around Magnus' neck resting just beside his Adam's apple.

"Are you alright," he asked with a brow wrinkled in worry.

Magnus shook his head softly while he looked up at Alec and he knew his face probably resembled that of a besotted fool. Alec always found ways to surprise him.

"I will be once I eat one of these vile beads."

Following Magnus' gesturing hand, Alec glanced down into the mortar bowl sitting on the desk. He stopped feeling over the warlock's face and Magnus felt a brief twinge at the loss of contact.

"I was watching as you made it. At the end, at least," Alec said licking his lips, eyes heavy in a way that was now very familiar to Magnus. "I like watching you work."

Magnus didn't say anything to that but his eyes locked with Alec's and he suddenly became hyperaware of the fact that Alec had stopped touching his face but hadn't moved back. They stood barely a few inches apart. He was so close Magnus could feel the heat radiating from Alec's body and smell the nephilim's own scent masked beneath the aroma of breakfast food.

Magnus' breath got a little uneven and he was moments away from giving into temptation when a high pitched yowl pierced the quiet that had fallen between them.

They both jumped a little and Alec ducked his head while the most charming of rose blushes crept along his cheeks.

Magnus let out a tiny smile then dipped around Alec to treat his patients.

Domino was tucked deep into a corner under a table now, body vibrating and tail flicking erratically. After his initial yowl, he had settled into a low growl.

Magnus summoned and opened some wet cat food in preparation. He bent down and scooped up Domino and maneuvered his mouth to pop a ¼ dose pill inside, hold it closed, and massage his throat. It wasn't easy but with a pill this bitter, Magnus' usual method of hiding it in food wouldn't work. It was either get him an antidote or let him suffer for three days with the worse migraine of the little cat's life. Luckily the antidote was alright for most animals, barring reptiles, so Magnus didn't have to let him hurt. He had Domino's favorite soft cat food as a chaser to make the experience better.

When done with Domino, Magnus turned to Madzie who was still out cold. He reached forward and unwrapped the little girl from her cocoon. He magically cleaned her of the glitter covering her then summoned some sweet juice and set it down on the ground next to the mortar. Then he shook her awake and got ready.

Madzie woke slowly. Her face was as serene as possible at first then her headache set in and her entire face contorted in pain. She sat up quickly and scooted back into the front of the couch. Her eyes squeezed shut and then she burst into tears.

Magnus leaped forward to pick her up.

"Hey, there. Come on now. Let me help you, Madzie."

"My head hurts," she wailed. Her cries doubled after she spoke and her little gills started fluttering. They hadn't started sucking the oxygen out of the room so Magnus took as a good sign that she wasn't afraid, just in pain and a little confused.

"I know, sweet pea, but I have a way to help, okay?" Magnus brushed back her curly hair and tucked Madzie face into his neck. She moved from grabbing her own head to clutching at his shirt instead.

Magnus felt Alec move closer to the two but he stayed focused on the crying girl in his arms.

"Madzie, have you ever had to take medicine before?"

"Yes," she said, nodding her head.

"Good, good. Have you ever taken a pill before?"

She shook her head no this time and gave a little hiccup.

Magnus paused, a little unsure how to continue. He had been truthful to Catarina about never having long term taken care of someone under fifteen. Was six old enough to try to take a pill? Would she choke? Though she had gills so maybe she wouldn't? Should he try such a thing right now? He couldn't let her suffer for three days, however.

Alec spoke up then, "Magnus, can you crush the pill into her juice? We used to do that for my siblings." He bent down across from them so he wasn't towering.

Magnus shook his head, "The Somnus' Tears instantly bead up after they're magically activated. Well, at least until…" Magnus trailed off frowning a little then he raised a single eyebrow.

He smiled at Alec. "Thank you, darling. That gave me an idea." Alec looked a little confused but smiled back.

Magnus turned to the glass of juice he had summoned and snapped his fingers to summon another only this glass was half filled with pure pineapple juice. He popped two of the ¼ dose beads into the half-filled glass and waited while the acidic fruit juice did its work. He hoped the pineapple juice had a high enough ph to break the compound down like a person's stomach acid. The beads whirled for a moment then they started to dissolve and the glass of pineapple juice went from a pale yellow to a grayish red orange. Then he poured the sweet juice into the tonic glass, hoping to mask the taste even more. With his luck today, however, it would just make it even more terrible.

Magnus picked up the glass and held it to Madzie.

"Madzie, sweet pea, you have to drink this. I won't lie to you, it's probably going to taste awful."

She cringed back from the glass.

"Well, Madzie, you have two choices. You can drink every drop of this or try and get through hurting for another three days. I don't want you in pain, honey. It'll only be nasty for a short time."

Madzie looked a little skeptical but her tears were slowing a bit. She glanced nervously over at Alec where he crouched in front of them. The vein in the side of Magnus' temple throbbed with his own pain but he ignored it.

Alec gave a sweet smile and said, "Hey, once you have your medicine you can eat a tasty breakfast. I made your favorite, Madzie. Omelets! Aren't you hungry?"

She nodded a little then a determined look swept over her. She brushed her little hands over her wet cheeks then reached for the glass. It did taste disgusting still as Magnus had feared. Madzie's little face was proof of that as she tried valiantly to swallow her tonic juice.

She finished eventually and made a loud disgusted noise at the end, handing Magnus back the empty glass. It was honestly the most adorable thing Magnus had ever seen and he hid his smile in her hair as he kissed the top of her head.

"There you go, sweet pea. Give it a few minutes and the pain will go away, alright? Now I have to take my medicine too."

He gave her butt a pat to motivate her up off of his lap then stretched to get his own dose. He was lucky he could bypass his taste buds altogether. He picked up his pill then hesitated. He shot a glance at Madzie, sitting by Alec now as they watched him. Before he could re-think anything, he quickly summoned another glass of pineapple juice, popped his pill inside, waited for it to dissolve, and swallowed the whole mess.

It was the most disgusting thing he had tasted in a long time. Worse even than the morning breath he had woken with that day. It was all worth it however when after drinking his own tonic juice, Madzie came over to solemnly put a hand on his shoulder. Her little face, glowing sepia under lit with topaz in the morning light, shone with a wise sympathy.

When Magnus looked up to Alec, who had stood after Madzie left his side, the man was staring at Magnus with a curious look on his face. Before Magnus could say anything the look was gone and the young man held out his hand for Magnus to take.

Magnus hesitated only a second before he placed his hand in Alec's and let him pull the grinning warlock to his feet. He banished the empty glasses then took the mortar with him to store in his potions pantry. Madzie and Alec followed him.

"Alec, I forgot to ask, were you looking for me earlier? When you saw me making the tonic?"

Magnus bent to find an empty jar and tipped the rest of the pills into it. He pulled a blank label and marked it for future cataloguing then placed the jar on one of his shelves.

"Uh, yeah, actually. You're out of jam. Do you think you could summon some?"

Magnus stood from his bent position in surprise. "Oh! No, I have some here." He twirled gracefully and reached into the shelves to pull out the strawberry jam he had moved aside before. He passed it over to Alec with a flourish.

"I hope strawberry will do."

"You keep food with your potions ingredients," Alec asked incredulously, taking the jar.

Magnus scoffed, a little offended even though he had no real explanation for why the jam was in there. "You don't have to sound so surprised. And, frankly, how do you know I don't use strawberry jam in potions?"

Honestly, what did Alexander know? Nothing. So it was fine.

"Do you?"

Magnus hesitated, caught up in his obfuscation. Then he shook his head. "That's beside the point, Alexander. I put jars where they are useful."

"That didn't answer my question."

"My filing system is flawless and has worked for me for over four hundred years. I don't tell you where to put your seraph blades."

"That's not the same thing at all, Magnus."

"It's a very comparable situation to me."

"Well-"

"I'm hungry," Madzie's voice jumped in. She had been turning her head back and forth between them while they bickered but her impatience had apparently had enough.

Magnus and Alec both looked down to her, then at each other, and simultaneously started to laugh.

"Alright, Madzie. We got it. Let's eat." Alec scooped Madzie up into his arms, and took her and the jar back into the kitchen.

After they left, Magnus cleaned up the living room and re-summoned the correct furniture that usually filled the space. Then he followed them to eat.

By the time he reached them Magnus' headache had disappeared and he felt almost back to normal. Madzie must have felt the same as her peals of delight filled the kitchen from something Alec said but Magnus hadn't heard.

Alec was pouring orange juice into two glasses when Magnus sat down. His place setting had a cup of coffee already prepared for him. The kitchenette table was covered in food that Alec had cooked and each dish looked delicious. Magnus' stomach growled and he hurried to dole out food onto each plate.

They talked while they ate.

"How was the war conference?"

"Awful but bearable. I had to—be careful with the ham, Madzie, it's still hot—field so many questions about me and you. It was ridiculous." Alec bit into his cornbread.

"I can imagine." Magnus elegantly lifted a small bit of omelet to eat, spices bursting in his mouth underneath the egg and cheese.

"I had no less than six people passive-aggressively try to say something bad about you and our relationship, ending the week with one man aggressive-aggressively implying that my being gay would dry out the Lightwood bloodline."

Magnus paused. "Is this individual unaware that you have siblings? Or, if I may be so bold, unaware of the many other ways to have children?"

Alec tossed him a look. "I know, right? That's what my mother said."

Magnus grimaced at being compared to Maryse Lightwood in any capacity but hid the reaction behind his fork of sausage and kept his mouth shut. He thought it might be a bit rude to say something right then.

Alec saw him anyway. Of course he did. "Ah, she's been really putting an effort in." He bit a lip. "She even calls you my boyfriend now instead of my friend."

"Great strides, indeed." Magnus modulated his voice in an attempt not to sound bitter.

Alec cleared his throat uncomfortably then let out a strange chuckle. "She even invited a gay friend and her girlfriend over for dinner for me."

Magnus choked on his coffee.

Alec patted at his back and Madzie widened brown eyes at him.

"Are you okay," she asked, mouth full of eggs. "Do you need more medicine?"

"I'm alright, doll. Alec just told me something that surprised me."

She nodded and went back to eating, her legs swinging under the table.

Magnus got himself under control and turned to Alec looking bemused.

Alec stopped pounding his back and leaned away with a guffaw. "I know. It was the most surreal thing. We had a good day at the Clave meeting and she said she wanted to celebrate with our allies then invited Aline Penhallow and her girlfriend, Helen Blackthorn, to dinner. I mean, Aline had played with us when we were kids since our parents are friends but my mother never paid her much mind before. Then the girl comes out that she's gay and suddenly she wants to invite her over. It wasn't hard to guess why."

Magnus hummed. "A Penhallow and the eldest Blackthorn, huh? You know, I did quite a few jobs for the Lady Nerissa back when I worked more closely with the Seelie Court. Lovely woman, honestly. She was a bit of a dreamer but prone to sadness."

"Do you know everyone?"

"Not everyone, Alexander. For example, I only know the Penhallow name by reputation."

"Reputation?"

Magnus' eyes grew sharp. "A former-Circle member, yes? Fortuitously fled just before the group went from light assault and harassment of downworlders to outright murder? I assume this is how Maryse knows them."

"Ah, yeah. Yeah, that's right." Alec studied his near empty plate intently.

They fell into an uneasy silence. Pleasant conversation unexpectedly turning sour between them. This wasn't quite what Magnus had intended this morning. He hadn't even brought up the important thing he needed to discuss with Alec about Madzie, but talking about the Circle inevitably got his hackles up.

He wasn't sure his feelings would ever change. It was especially difficult considering he was currently in love with the son of two of them so he could never quite escape the topic's reach. Magnus knew in his heart that Alec and his family were a packaged deal regardless of their internal difficulties. It was in Alec's nature to cleave to and protect them no matter what. Magnus loved that about him in many ways but it made it hard in this one. He would deal with it somehow. Magnus was certain that whatever tinge of distaste he felt for Robert and Maryse paled in comparison to the pain he would feel if Alec disappeared from his life. He would deal with it. And Maryse was trying to shake off her prejudices, which was more than he had expected.

"So, what are you guys up to today?" Alec tried to recover in the awkward silence. Magnus gratefully latched onto the opportunity.

"Well, I have a few clients to see today and Madzie is going to spend the next two days at the Spiral Labyrinth with Tessa. However, what she will be doing today is up to her, considering. She was going to visit the Hall of Constellations today but after last night, I'm not sure."

Alec looked innocently curious but Magnus ignored him in favor of focusing on Madzie. The girl had frozen and a guilty look flashed in her eyes. He schooled his face into a stern mask, preparing to broach a subject he had been kind of avoiding all morning. Madzie's punishment.

Magnus had been debating with himself whether the excruciating headache was enough but he didn't want to associate discipline with physical pain. He had turned the problem over and over in the back of his mind for the last hour. He had finally decided that talking clearly with the girl about what she had done wrong was likely best. Children grasped concepts fairly well when explained plainly and Madzie was cleverer than most.

"What do you mean," Alec asked, looking back and forth between the two of them.

Magnus pursed his lips. "Madzie, explain to Alec why you might need to be punished by not getting to go to the Hall of Constellations today."

Madzie's bottom lip started shaking as she turned wide eyes up to Alec and then over to Magnus. She scraped her fork across her nearly empty plate.

"Now, Madzie."

"Cuz I did something bad."

"And what did you do that was bad, Madzie," Magnus patiently led.

"I made us go to sleep," she managed, trying hard not to cry. Magnus could already see it would be a losing battle.

Alec looked a bit confused. "I thought you said it was an accident."

Magnus replied quickly, "Oh, I'm sure Madzie wasn't intending to put everyone to sleep. That was certainly an accident. What wasn't a mistake was that she tried the spell in the first place."

He turned his face back to the girl. Big, luminous tears were gathering in the corners of her eyes, so close to falling but still clinging to her lashes.

"Tell Alec what I told you last night, Madzie."

She reluctantly answered, "He said- you said I couldn't do the spell yet."

"And then?"

"Then I said I wanted to do it and I did and we went to sleep." She rushed the words out.

"You're missing a part. What happened before you did the spell?"

She looked a bit confused at that so he clarified.

"What happened when you saw Domino?"

She understood then and the tears that had been perched on her eyelashes tipped over.

"I said I wanted to make Domino sleep and you said I couldn't."

"Why did I say that?"

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do. I told you exactly why last night. What did I say?"

She had let go of her fork and was fisting her hands into her little red sweat pants now. Her face was wet from crying.

"Y- you said that I had to be careful…"

"Or…?"

"Or I could hurt Domino."

"That's right. And I said I would teach you the spell when you were a little older so you wouldn't hurt anyone. But you did the spell anyway, didn't you?"

She cried with her eyes shut tight and nodded miserably. Alec was watching the exchange clearly torn between distress at Madzie crying and a soldier's need to let Magnus discipline her as was appropriate.

"And what happened when you did the spell?"

She sucked in hiccupping breaths and answered, "We went to sleep."

"And what happened when we woke up? When you woke up this morning?"

"My head hurt really bad." She wailed the last word.

"My head hurt too and Domino's head hurt." He kept going over her cries hoping to clearly get his point across to the girl. "Do you understand that all of us were hurt because you did the spell incorrectly?"

She nodded.

"Do you understand that that was why I said you had to wait until I could teach you properly?"

She nodded.

"Did you understand all of this last night?"

She nodded again.

"Then why did you do the spell anyway, Madzie?"

She looked at him then a little surprised.

"Did you want to hurt Domino?"

She shook her head quickly. "N- no."

"Did you think you could do the spell even though I said it would be too hard?"

She shrugged, "I don't know."

Magnus looked a bit confused at that. "So…you didn't want to hurt Domino and you weren't sure if you could do the spell but you disobeyed me anyway. Why?"

She stayed silent, averting her eyes. Her shoulders came up in another little shrug.

Alec spoke then, his voice soft but firm. "Did you want to get punished, Madzie?"

Magnus jerked his head around to look at Alec in surprise. Alec met his gaze calmly. Magnus spun back to Madzie as she spoke.

"I don't know," she said but her voice let the adults know she did, in fact, know and what she knew was that Alec was right.

Magnus took up the questioning again. "Why did you want to get punished, Madzie?"

"I don't know." Again her voice betrayed her. It was no longer about leading the girl to understanding why she needed to be punished but rather finding out why she wanted to be.

"So…the correct order is that you wanted to be punished so you disobeyed me and did something bad, on purpose, despite the possibility of hurting Domino." Magnus sucked on his teeth lightly in contemplation, mind racing at a hundred miles a minute until finally it alighted on a possibility, wild and absurd and yet utterly logical.

Magnus's hand came up to rub at his forehead then moved down to cover his mouth as he decided on what to say. The truth, as always with her.

"Did you think if you did something bad and I punished you, I would put you where your Nana is being punished?"

She bawled even harder and Magnus knew he was right.

Alec met his eyes when he looked over, the young man looking shocked at first and then completely sympathetic. Alec may have helped him get there, being familiar with self-punishment, but obviously he had not quite known the reasons behind Madzie's choices.

If there was one thing Magnus knew, it was loving someone who was overtly malevolent. He understood intimately what one would do to stay close to someone even when they did horrific things. The compromises to your moral code. The concessions given to wrong deeds. The self-flagellation as you tried hard not to cut yourself on their sharp edges even as they twisted the knife deeper into your gut. Love was strange like that sometimes.

"Madzie, I'm not going to punish you like your Nana is being punished." He folded his hands calmly on the table as the little girl's wails started to lessen. "Do you understand that your Nana did something extremely bad?"

"Y- yes."

"She hurt a lot of people, Madzie."

"I hurt people too," she got out in a voice as small as a mouse, "At the big church. I hurt people."

Magnus' mind flashed back to the scene of coming upon her surrounded by the dead. Her dead. He shuddered a little.

"I know, sweet pea, but there is a big difference between you and your Nana."

She looked up at him then. "What?"

"You didn't want to. A bad man lied to you and tricked you to use you for your abilities." He reached out then for the first time since they'd started the entire scolding. He scooted back his chair and pulled Madzie from her own to sit in his lap.

"A bad man lied to you and you were scared and wanted to see your Nana so you did what he told you. The moment I came and told you differently, you stopped. Why did you stop then, Madzie?"

"Because I didn't want to hurt people anymore?" She said it more like a question, hoping it was the right answer.

"That's right. Just like you didn't really want to hurt Domino."

Magnus hugged Madzie close, debating on how to continue then said, "But your Nana is different."

He looked down to see her confused face and brushed her wild hair back from one side. She had stopped crying now and Magnus used his tank top edge to wipe the tears off of her cheeks.

"No one lied to your Nana or tricked her. She knew what she was doing would hurt people and she did it anyway because she didn't care."

"Like when she hurt Alec?"

Alec shifted uncomfortably at that. Magnus didn't know whether it was because he remembered the event or whether it was because his name was being drawn in to the conflict. Either way Magnus followed Madzie's logic and let her guide her own revelations.

"Exactly."

Madzie scrunched her little face up. "I didn't like that so I told her to stop. He was nice about my gills."

Magnus flashed a wide smile and his heart swelled in boundless affection for both Madzie and Alec. In that moment, he knew he wouldn't be able to turn back.

"That's right, Madzie. You don't want to hurt people and when you can, you try not to and you try to protect them. Your Nana is different. She hurt people, she didn't care, but there were consequences for her and now she is being punished. And part of her punishment is that she can't see anyone anymore."

Magnus pulled the little girl close again. "I'm sorry you can't see her because of that, sweet pea. I'm truly sorry."

She frowned hard even as he kissed her cheeks. "It's not your fault. Nana said it was her fault. You don't have to say sorry." Her voice was fervent with worry, as if it were infinitely crucial that Magnus not blame himself.

Magnus smiled, utterly charmed. "Thank you, doll. I'll remember that. I want you to understand Madzie that I'm never going to punish you like Iris. Like your Nana. Okay?"

"Okay."

He had an idea then. "I'm sorry your Nana's punishment means you can't see her but I will tell you this. I am very old, Madzie, and I've known your Nana for a long, long, long time. I'll show you some memories I have of her so you can see her face that way, even if you can't go see her anymore."

He looked down into her big brown eyes, a little red from all her crying. "Would you like that?"

She nodded happily.

"Alright, I'll do that sometimes once you come back from staying with Tessa. For now, have this."

He concentrated then waved his hand in front of his face, calling up the same complex memory spell just as he had done for young Clary months before. A picture copy of his first memory of Iris. He had met her in 17th Century France at the debut of a young warlock girl who was also an aristocrat.

He handed the photo to Madzie.

The girl had been the daughter of a vicomtesse in the French Court. He had never inquired, as to do so was rude without the warlock offering the story themselves, but he could guess a demon had disguised himself and tricked the girl's mother. In those days, a scandal like a cuckolding could be deadly so he imagined the woman probably kept quiet about the entire thing. Or maybe she never knew the demon wasn't her husband. Whatever happened and whatever her Mark had been, the girl was able to move in mundane polite society enough to have a debut and both Iris and Magnus had been invited. The memory was from when he had asked her to dance a line with him.

In the photo, Iris wore a pastel blue gown, not as low cut as it was starting to get those days but enough to be fashionable. The gown was edged in lace and had wide sleeves. It was the 1640s, her auburn hair was curled into ringlets, the wrinkles of her eternally middle-aged face were powdered over, and she was lovely. Even though her face was that of an eager dance partner, now that he really looked, he could see the shape of the wicked Iris in every part of her. The edge of haughtiness around her curled lip. The clever gleam in her eyes, shining green beneath arched eyebrows.

"She's really pretty."

Magnus smiled a little sadly. "Yes, Iris Rouse was always very beautiful." Too bad that beauty never extended inward. Now that he was looking back, he wondered how he had never seen the vileness she would come to commit. Was it that she had hid it well then? Or was it something that grew later after even more centuries of living?

He did not say so aloud, however, as he still wanted to try hard not to alienate Madzie. It was a delicate balance trying to make sure he didn't anger her over his hatred of the woman and yet still teach the girl right from wrong. He let the topic go in his mind.

Madzie held the picture, then hopped down from his lap and ran over to Alec.

"Alec, do you want to see?"

Alec startled but took the photo as prompted. "She's very pretty," he said awkwardly. Magnus figured it was strange trying to speak nicely about a woman who had attacked him and ran a demonic trafficking ring. Magnus could relate. Madzie smiled and Alec returned it to her.

Magnus shifted in his chair and faced her again watching her delighted face as she felt all over the photograph. Magnus sighed and softened his heart completely. Punishing her felt counterproductive now so he threw the whole idea out.

"Madzie, do you understand our conversation this morning?"

The girl grew solemn again but nodded.

"I said earlier that it was up to you whether you would be punished today but we talked and I feel that I do not need to do so now."

Her eyes grew wide.

"We had a good talk, didn't we? You know that what you did was wrong and why? And that you should never disobey me like that again, yes?"

She nodded franticly. "Yes, Magnus."

"Good."

Magnus eyed her a minute longer.

"Are you finished eating or are you still hungry?"

"I'm full."

"Alright. I want you to give Domino exactly one cat treat as an apology for hurting him, then I want you to wash up and get dressed. I already packed your bag for your trip but I want you to decide on what toy to take. You can take one toy and no summoning others without Tessa's permission. Do you understand?"

She nodded an affirmative, ran up to Magnus to give him a hug, then darted out of the kitchen and down the hall.

Magnus laughed a little at her speed.

When he turned back to look at Alec, the young man was staring. He had the softest look on his face. Softer than anything Magnus had ever seen before. He didn't know what brought the look on but he reach out a hand to grab Alec's where it lay next to his empty plate.

"What is it?"

Alec shook his head and twined his fingers around Magnus' digits.

"I was thinking about earlier. You healing yourself…"

Magnus grew mystified. Alec squeezed his hand and leaned forward.

"You healed Madzie and Domino. You talked her through everything and it took a while. Your headache must've been killing you. You woke up first."

"Yes…?"

"Then you took the tonic like she did even though it was disgusting and you could've easily swallowed the pill."

Magnus said nothing to that but he began blinking rapidly.

"And just now with this conversation, how you worked her through to the truth…"

"Say what you mean, Alexander."

"Nothing just…" He paused to think, rubbing Magnus' fingers in his own. "I knew you liked to take in people. Raphael, Simon…Jace. I just never saw it like this."

Magnus grew still and tentatively pushed forward, hoping to lead the conversation where he needed it.

"Like what," he asked in a shaking voice.

"Like a dad."

Alec's eyes caught his again and they were intense and heavy with some emotion Magnus could not define. Magnus licked his lips nervously. He had been worrying over what to say for days but now that the time had arrived, it had done so in a completely different way than he had expected. The words he had prepared to say flew from his mind and he was left feeling his way based solely on instinct. Yet Alec had given him the perfect moment, the perfect segue. So he took it.

"I want to keep her."

Alec broke eye contact to nod before looking away to the side. His jaw clenched but he kept quiet while Magnus spoke.

Magnus' words came out in a rush. "I- I've been- She won't settle anywhere else. All her placements just get sabotaged or they find they can't handle her power or her moods or her history. I-" He swallowed hard. "I want to keep her. I'm going to."

Alec nodded again, still looking away.

"I know we just started but I need to do this. I don't want to do it to spite you or push you away. I know you never signed up for this but I can't- I can't leave her in this constant cycle trying to find her a family only for it to fail."

Magnus moved his right hand over and covered Alec's where it lay clutching Magnus' left on the table, sandwiching the big paw between both his own. Alec's fingers gave a spasm.

"I'm sorry to spring this on you but I want you to know you don't have to worry about anything. I'll be raising her. She'll be completely my responsibility. She'll live here with me and you won't have to worry about anything if you don't want to." Magnus' eyes danced, trying to see if there was something he missed. "It's a big change and it's a lot to ask even if you don't have to be that involved. You didn't start dating me with a child in the picture and now I'm asking that you do. It's not fair but I-"

"No, it's not," Alec said bitingly.

Magnus went quiet. Alec finally turned to look at him again.

"You've been thinking about doing this for a long time, haven't you?"

Alec's voice was a little accusatory but his hand still stayed in Magnus' grip, so he took it as a good sign.

"I have."

Alec's jaw clenched again but he pushed out his words. "I won't act like I'm suddenly okay about this. It's…a lot, to be honest." He adjusted his head with a quick jerk as if trying to ease a muscle in his neck. "I'll think about it. I can't say if I'll be okay but I'll think about it."

Magnus squeezed hard on Alec's hand and moved his right up to massage Alec's forearm.

"Thank you, Alec. I- that's all I need. Just…you just think about it and we'll talk."

They went quiet then, Alec in contemplation as he wrestled with an anger Magnus figured he did not yet understand. The only sounds in the kitchen were of the ticking of a clock on his wall and the muffled sounds of traffic from out the window.

Magnus' heart was hammering in his ears but he clung desperately to Alec's hand still in his and hoped to be able to keep both people he had come to love so deeply.

* * *

A/N: Alright, there we are. This chapter did not go like I was planning but I'm utterly satisfied with it. Let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: It's been over two weeks, huh? So sorry for the delay. I started a new job and it's much more demanding than my previous one, so I have less time to write. Expect similar delays going forward. I won't abandon this story but sometimes it may take me longer to put up new chapters.

Here's an extra-long chapter for you. Still not beta'd so…

* * *

Chapter 4

Magnus waved a hand rimmed in blue fire along the orange baseboard of a freshly painted turquoise wall. A god awful color combination, especially considering the floral print of the furniture in the living room, in Magnus' opinion, but he wasn't being hired as an interior designer so he decided to keep his critical thoughts to himself.

"Are you sure this will work, Mr- ah, is it 'Mr.' Bane?" It was a man with a Scottish accent, hesitating a little over the title. He cleared his throat to settle himself.

Magnus glanced back. Behind him, watching Magnus' ward building, stood an older man with a stocky boxer's build, arms crossed over his wide chest. He his only an inch or so taller than Magnus. He was completely bald but Magnus could tell from his healthy mustache and thick eyebrows that he had likely been a brunette. His cream skin glowed a light pink in the afternoon sun streaming through the windows. There were deep lines around his eyes and mouth, and he had fading blue eyes hidden behind wire rim glasses.

He was a handsome man, not exactly Magnus' type but attractive in his own way, and if either of them were available and the mood was right…certainly. But they were both in deeply committed relationships and the mood was most definitely not right given why Magnus was there. The man's handsome face was currently pressed into a distressed frown, laugh lines pulling down into worry lines instead. Magnus was there to set wards to fend off a stalker for the man's daughter.

"Call me 'Magnus,' please. Or if you wish to remain formal, you can use High Warlock Bane," he replied with a small smile, turning back to his work. "And I designed this warding myself. Given the specifications you gave me, it'll work better than what you have now. Certainly it'll work better than what a…different warlock could offer."

Magnus had been tracing the walls of the large, high rise condo in this manner for the last forty-five minutes and was making his way back around to the starting end of his magical warding line. As he finished his loop, the blue line of magic he had flowing from his hand attached to the beginning end. Magnus stepped back, snapped his fingers on both hands and elegantly raised both arms into the air. As his hands rose, the line of magic spread up along the walls to encase the entire condo in a shimmering blue light. He twirled his arms again and directed the warding to spread even more along the ceiling and floor beneath them.

The man, a mundane named Hamish MacIntyre, hopped a little as if the warding magic had become lava. Magnus kept his smile from getting larger, deeming that impolite, and glided across to the front door. He snapped his fingers and concentrated on the runic design he had modified for his clients.

He reached his hand back. "Do you have the item I requested?"

MacIntyre moved to the couch, picked up a plastic bag, and crossed to hand it to Magnus with, "Is this alright?"

Inside was a dirty, white t-shirt with sweat stains that had turned the shirt brown at the pits.

"This will be fine, thank you," Magnus answered. He curled a lip and took the disgusting shirt into his left hand while his right stayed raised to the closed door.

Magnus closed his kohl lined eyes and concentrated on the spiritual essence left coating the shirt. He glimpsed an image of wiry, white man with heavy bags under his eyes and a pinched face. The man's essence rang through him, reminding him faintly of a wolf caught in a cold rain. Magnus locked on to the image, snapping his eyes open, and pulled the werewolf's signature from the shirt through the link he had built to the ward and weaved the signature around the warlock rune he had re-designed. He dropped the dirty shirt to the floor, glad to no longer have to touch it.

He embedded the spiritual signature in the rune, then snapped his right hand that had been holding the rune aloft. The rune vibrated then slowly sank itself into the blue warding over the door. When the rune had fully immersed itself, the entire ward covering the condo flashed yellow as it melded with the standard ward already on the home, then the whole intricate web of protection faded into invisibility. Magnus, however, could feel the wards humming in the back of his mind as it settled into protecting the home.

He turned to his client and found the man back in his previous stance, arms crossed around him, face attempting neutrality but failing. His pearl colored shirt bulged around his biceps and his fingers dug into the cotton. He wore tan, designer slacks and dark brown loafers, and his matching suit jacket lay across the back of the ugly couch. Yves Saint Laurent, Magnus absently noted. He could see from MacIntyre's tailored suit that he was wealthy, if a bit conservative fashion wise for Magnus' tastes. Still, the suit was tasteful and sat well on his frame so Magnus could not say he didn't approve of the look. Somehow whatever fashion sense the man possessed had not passed down to his daughter, if her décor was any indication.

Magnus shook those thoughts from his mind and straightened his own black velvet blazer, silver rings flashing on hands that smoothed the lines. He felt his gunmetal gray vest tighten over his cerulean blue silk shirt as he moved closer to his client.

MacIntyre's eyes glanced briefly at Magnus and darted away nervously. Magnus frowned and watched the man more closely. He looked as if he wanted to tell the warlock something important but was unsure how. Magnus decided to delay while he worked up the courage and continue as if he hadn't noticed.

"Let the new ward settle into place with the standard wards for the rest of the day," Magnus told the anxious man. "It should only take a few hours but your daughter can wait until morning to move back in, if you both want to be sure."

The man nodded rapidly.

"'Hamish,'" he said while licking his lips. "You can call me 'Hamish,' as well."

Magnus waited.

Hamish MacIntyre was a mundane currently living in Edinburgh. He ran a fund management and investment services company that catered to the wealthy elite of the UK. He had been referred to Magnus by the High Warlock of Edinburgh, Niall, when the man had inquired about the best ward crafter in North America. Magnus, of course.

Magnus had learned from Niall that Hamish was acquainted with the Down World because of his wife, Coira, who was a seonaidh water sprite, a minor Lady as well, who had chosen to leave the Court and live with her husband in the mundane world. A rare choice for a faerie noble, especially in these times of uncertainty with the Circle moving among them. Even rarer with the Seelie Queen withdrawing her people from the outside world more and more. Though he had yet to meet the woman, Magnus thought Coira to be remarkable and brave to have renounced her Court life for her family.

The couple's youngest child, Lorna, had chosen to go to university in America and had moved a little over a year ago to attend Fordham. During Magnus' standard client phone screening, Hamish had explained that his daughter had started dating a werewolf, Darren, from her school but when she tried to break it off a month or so later, he had taken it poorly. She had gotten increasingly uncomfortable calls, texts, and social media messages, escalating to the young man actually following her around.

As a precaution, Lorna had gotten some standard wards set up but one day, two months ago, she had gotten home to find her wards down, her condo broken into, hateful words scrawled across her walls, and some of her clothing gone missing. Left behind was the light scent of wolf and petrichor.

It had scared her to death and she had immediately decided to return home to Scotland for the summer, cancelling the summer courses she had originally wanted to take. It was there that the High Warlock of Edinburgh had been notified of the problem by the lovely Coira, and he who had contacted Magnus to connect the family to his services, knowing that Magnus was an exceptional warder.

It took him about a week to research and prepare the modified spell according to desired specifications. Hamish had decided to meet Magnus at Lorna's condo for the spell work while the young woman and her mother stayed at a nearby hotel until the work was finished. School started in less than two weeks and the girl wanted to return to her home as soon as possible.

Magnus had advised against it for several reasons but ultimately he was being paid for a service so he provided what he could since the girl was determined to go her own way. She reminded him of Clary. It seemed Magnus had been recently cursed to always interact with obstinate young people who never listened to him. Magnus caught himself before he rolled his eyes in from of a client.

Hamish fidgeted with another bag that lay lengthwise on the couch. It was an overly long black duffle bag. He turned the strap's buckle over and over in his hands as the silence stretched. Something about the man made Magnus feel this was fairly atypical behavior but Magnus well knew that when family was involved everything changed.

Magnus felt no urge to quicken the man's pace. Over the centuries Magnus had encountered many people who struggled to talk to him. He had developed patience to spare in those instances. Magnus spun a few of the rings on his fingers and calmly watched.

Hamish came to some decision and abruptly unzipped the bag. Slowly he eased out a long case made of lacquered mahogany and turned to lay it on the glass coffee table. Magnus moved forward to get a better look.

"Your payment," Hamish said, and he undid the latches on the side of the case and slowly opened the lid. "I hear that most warlocks prefer payment by artifacts with a story attached."

Magnus flicked his fingers. "Oh, we take many forms of payment," he said absently. His eyes latched onto the open case. "Though I will confess, I love a fabled antiquity."

Inside lay a sword resting on purple velvet, a decorative scabbard nestled beside it. Magnus fluttered a hand near the edge of the case, not touching but longing to do so. He immediately recognized the sword as a 17th Century Scottish broadsword, basket-hilted with an ornate design and a lovely Ferrara blade.

Hamish pulled soft, white gloves from the bag and put them on. He very gently lifted the broadsword from the velvet and tilted it to catch the afternoon light filtering in from the living room window.

"I don't think this counts as 'fabled' but it does have a tale. This was given to my direct ancestor in 1686 by Clan Chief Duncan himself. His name was Willum MacIntyre, a third son of a third son, as always." Hamish smiled a little at Magnus and Magnus returned the look accordingly. "It was said he was a young farmer's lad, barely out of the cradle himself, who became of great service to the chieftain when he rescued one of Duncan's nieces from being stolen away by the faeries…or perhaps just lads from a neighboring clan."

Hamish tilted the sword again but towards Magnus this time and taking his cue, the warlock banished his rings, summoned similar white gloves of his own to wear, and carefully took the sword from the man.

Magnus examined it carefully. It was well balanced, a little heavier than the type of swords Magnus used to prefer but a good weight for a claybeg.

"When the chieftain asked Willum what he would like as reward for his service to his family, Willum told the chief he wanted a blade of honor to protect his family, having naught but his hoe before. But the niece was said to have been a favored one so instead of giving the boy a sword from his armory, the chieftain had one commissioned. The stories say the iron folded into the blade was forged from the iron hoe Willum used to fend off the 'fiendish creature' trying to take away the fair maiden he rescued." Hamish ran a gloved finger lightly along the flat of said blade. "I don't know if I believe that but it's a good story."

The blade was well cared for, Magnus could see. It was polished and the blade looked sharpened as if new. Clearly it was a cherished heirloom.

Hamish gestured to the hilt. "The basket-hilt was made to resemble a conch shell to honor the island from where Clan MacIntyre was said to have originated before they migrated to Glen Noe."

Magnus raised the end of the sword to examine the hilt more closely. The basket was indeed fashioned into thin crossings of metal, striated with precision to evoke a large shell. The basket design twisted up in a curve to a large pommel that looked faintly like a pearl.

"When I was young, I thought the stories fairytales and put more weight in it being a neighbor trying to steal himself a wife, as it was in those days." Magnus grimaced, remembering when that was a thing. Hamish caught the look and gave a sympathetic nod.

He suddenly smiled and said, "Then I met Coira and she loved me well and told me of who she was and the world you all are from…Now all of the stories my mother told me when I was a boy seem likely to be real."

Magnus lifted a charmed brow. "It well may have been both. Perhaps your ancestor's neighbors were both neighbor and faerie, there to steal a bride either way," he said lightly and flipped the sword to examine the other side.

On the blade, close to the sword's guard and in small curling letters surrounded by engraved flowers, were the Latin words 'per ardua.'

"'Through hardship,'" said Hamish while Magnus examined the writing. He said it in a soft voice, seeming is if he were thinking of a particular moment of adversity for himself. Magnus decided not to comment on the fact that he understood the Latin perfectly fine and needed no translation.

"Our clan motto," he elaborated. Hamish reached down to pull up the scabbard and Magnus set the precious sword back into the case.

"This scabbard was made much later," the man said. "The family lost track of the sword after the English tore through the clans after Culloden. My great-grandfather labored to recover the sword and found it in his later years but by then the scabbard had been destroyed, so he had one made along with restoring the shark skin of the grip."

The scabbard was covered with stiffened and polished leather. Decorating the leather were sprigs of a white plant sprouting as if growing from the iron locket where the sword's guard would rest. It was far more decorative than Magnus imagined a young, 17th Century farm boy would likely pick. Definitely made later.

"White heather. The MacIntyre badge," Hamish said, gesturing to the plant design.

Magnus hummed in appreciation and set the scabbard back into the case next to the sword.

"Hamish, this is a beautiful antiquity," Magnus said and ran a finger over the wonderful seashell basket-hilt again. "One deeply steeped in your family's lore, clearly."

Magnus stepped back from the coffee table, removed both gloves with a sharp pull, and restored his jewelry with a snap of fingers. He banished the gloves after, not intending to touch the sword again.

"Even if I ignore the sentimental value this must have for your family, it is still worth far more than our agreed upon price. Three times as much, at least, if I wear to calculate without a formal appraisal." Magnus paused shrewdly and sucked in a slow breath. "What is the meaning of this?"

Hamish squared his shoulders and met Magnus' gaze head on.

"I want you to kill Darren Lloyd."

Magnus ordered his face into a neutral mask, taking his time with how to respond.

It wasn't the first time a client had requested such. Magnus had little reason to think it would be the last. Many people made assumptions. Some rumors were just about warlocks in general, to be sure. Many people believed warlocks to be the most demonic of all the Shadow World races, and thus the more capable of evil.

'Vampires and werewolves were made from a disease, mostly human with a bit of an infection. And the fair folk? Well, the fae were half-angelic. Whatever demonic traits they have is balanced by that. Tricky ones, to be sure, but how bad can you be if your biggest weakness is that you can't lie? But those warlocks…direct lines to demon scum, and how unnatural to have all that power.'

Sometimes it was about Magnus, specifically. They saw his power, listened to rumors about his greed, or thought they understood his aloofness.

'Magnus Bane has an appetite, you know. Give him rubies or diamonds and he'll do anything…then he'll do you,' they said of him. Or if they had even an iota of information about his childhood, 'That Magnus Bane is cold as ice. Fickle with his heart and fickle with his hands. Just a snap of his fingers and you're through. Started young, they say. A killer right from the cradle.'

It didn't matter how many good deeds he did or how many lives he saved, there was always at least one rumor that said differently. Magnus had found, in his many centuries of life, that one lie weighed more heavily to people than a thousand truths, so he had stopped trying to prove himself long before. They would learn or they would not, and as long as they did not interfere with Magnus or his people, they could believe what they wanted.

So Magnus understood exactly how it was he came to be standing in a costly, high rise condo being asked to turn assassin by a man he'd only just met face-to-face.

Magnus took another look at him. Hamish stood stiffly, feet wide and arms straight down his sides, with a defiant look on his face. Seemingly he felt no shame for what he had just asked. Then Magnus looked down to his hands; they were balled into fists, knuckles gone white with strain, and they shook slightly with jittery nerves.

Magnus broke his silence with a sigh. "Please elaborate on the thought process that led to you thinking that this"—his hands waved over the entire room in a bewildered arc—"request was at all appropriate."

Hamish let out an explosive huff and dropped onto the tacky couch next to the empty duffle bag. His hands came down to grip the cushions beneath him. Magnus settled into the equally as ugly armchair to the right of the couch and elegantly crossed his legs, leaning back and examining his painted nails as if he were being told a boring story, not solicited to commit murder.

"I can't do anything to help her. I'm not—" He broke off, looking away from Magnus and toward the hallway to the bedrooms. "That son of a bitch broke in here and terrorized my little girl and I can't do anything to protect her."

"So your answer is to ask me, a man you only just met, to murder him?"

It wasn't quite a moral dilemma for Magnus per se. Magnus was no stranger to killing, pre-meditated or otherwise; he had lived far too long to hold to that kind of ethical "high ground," so to speak. But he made a point of only killing as a last resort, and certainly not for money. It was a line he had yet to cross, nor did he have a desire to cross it in the future. Besides, it wouldn't do to give the Clave actual evidence with which to arrest and kill him. Boldly taking a kill contract from a mundane client would certainly come back to bite him directly in his ass, and not in the fun way.

Hamish turned to look at him directly. "Are you a father, Magnus? Have you ever been," he inquired. His voice was softer than Magnus had expected.

Magnus thought then of Raphael…and of Simon and Elias and Zoe, and the hundreds of downworlders he had cared for over the centuries. Each one unique and coming to him in pain or alone, needing his help. Lastly he saw little Madzie's face, tear streaked from that morning when he had scolded her.

Magnus' right hand fell to rub against his raised thigh as he spoke. "As a warlock, by my very nature, I am unable to have biological children but over the years I have had many children in other ways…yes."

"Then you know fear," Hamish said, a heaviness pulling his facial expression down. "I have never felt as helpless as I have than when I started having children."

"I do know," Magnus replied, body as heavy as Hamish's face.

Magnus thought of when he had put together what had happened with Raphael and Isabelle's addiction problem. The strange guilt that Raphael had fallen from the blood wagon because of his inattention. The terror at wondering if he would get taken by the Clave for drinking shadowhunter blood. The ache that there was nothing Magnus could do to really help. It was an irrational thing. Raphael had long become an adult and leader of his own clan. His choices were ultimately his own. But, oh, did it hurt.

Even when he was a boy of fifteen, living with Magnus and in such spiritual pain from his new transition, Raphael had seemed far more independent than other children Magnus had cared for. Raphael had always been his most difficult child because Magnus had never quite figured out if he was doing any good with him. Decades later and those feelings of powerlessness remained.

Hamish's voice shook a little more as he spoke. "I'm not like you or Coira. Not part of this world. If I could handle this on my own, I would. But he's a werewolf. This isn't some punk kid I can intimidate with a stern voice and cracking knuckles, yeah? I- There's nothing I can do."

Magnus could see the fear and frustration bubbling under the surface of the mundane's face. Sweat had broken out on his shining, bald head. Calling a hit on a man was definitely nothing Hamish was used to, Magnus could tell, but he seemed at his whit's end. He decided to try to steer this entire encounter in a less homicidal direction.

Magnus sighed. "Have you thought about going to his Alpha? I am personally acquainted with the New York Pack so I can send you to him."

Hamish shook his head. "Lorna tried that eight or so months ago when Darren's harassment started getting worse. The Alpha was missing or something and the second, Al or Allen-"

"'Alaric,'" Magus supplied, hiding the flash of sorrow over the now deceased man.

"Right, yeah. Anyway, Lorna said Alaric told her there was little the New York Pack could do as Darren was something called a 'Lone Wolf.' Obviously it means something other than what humans think of." The man shook his head in confusion. "Lorna said the most they could do would be give him a warning not to cause trouble that brought mundane attention." Hamish grew angry then. "I don't even understand that! He's a werewolf and he lives here. It's their responsibility, isn't it?"

Magnus shifted slightly in surprise. This Darren boy was a registered Lone Wolf? That changed a few things.

Magnus shook his head. He wasn't thrilled with being a Down World encyclopedia but he thought he should explain since Coira either hadn't bothered or was the type of faerie that stayed divorced from other Down World races and thus didn't know. Possibly Hamish had neglected to inform her of his assassin idea altogether, as well.

So Magnus elaborated, "A Lone Wolf designation means he has opted not to join a Pack. Almost as if he were a Pack of one. He gets to remain free from Pack obligations—tithes, community service, battle or war drafting, etc.—and the local Packs have no authority over him so long as he does not interfere with their interests or members. However, he also does not get to benefit from the protections a Pack can provide. Packs can offer better shelter from the Clave, the Accords, and other Down World races. Pack Alphas will intercede on their behalf for disputes and provide asylum and protection. Pack networks are also extremely helpful against mundane authorities. Even things like monetary, emotional, and social help are provided within a Pack."

Magnus shrugged and tilted his head. "It's a choice that few werewolves make. Usually Pack-less wolves stay in rural areas. But Alaric was right. As a Lone Wolf, the New York Pack has no authority to interfere as long as Darren does not threaten the Accords or Pack safety."

"The Accords," Hamish scoffed. "What a joke. They don't help either! Coira told me that since Lorna is half Seelie she would not be protected as a mundane would be by those shadowhunters. They consider it 'Downworlder Affairs' and not any of their business."

Magnus could sympathize. On one hand, despite his current associations, he didn't want increased interference from shadowhunters among downworlders. On the other hand, if the Shadow races had joined thusly in the Accords, shadowhunters should provide to downworlders the same kind of inter-community protective help they gave to mundanes. The reality was all too different. Shadowhunters interfered when they felt like it and were scarce with just as much whimsy. They would be no help here, and he wouldn't put Alec in a position to choose between increased pressure from the Clave and Magnus' client's boon. Not when he had a few alternative ideas, anyway.

"No, the shadowhunters would not help with this, even without considering the war that's on in the Shadow World. And I assume help from the Seelie Court is closed off to you as well, considering Coira's defection," Magnus paused as he contemplated the situation. "Hamish, first, has your daughter reconsidered moving like I suggested when we started this? I imagine the cost of suddenly moving and breaking a condo contract here would be negligible with your level of wealth. It won't do anything about him knowing where she goes to school but-"

"No," Hamish interrupted, resting his head in his hands, elbows perched on his knees as he leaned forward. "I offered to find a new place after the phone screening with you but she told me 'no' again. After her initial fear, she got angry and now she won't listen to me. 'I won't be run out of my own place by some loser I dated for barely a month,'" he said, voice slightly muffled from his palms, his fingers tucked between his glasses and his eyelids as he rubbed his face.

He looked up at Magnus after a moment. "She's very stubborn. Just like her mother."

Magnus gave a polite smile.

Hamish continued, "It's why I really did want your special wards if- if the other thing didn't pan out." The other thing being assassination. Magnus could admit to still being a bit hung up on that.

"Hamish, the wards as requested are solid. You have my solemn vow on that. They are designed to keep out Darren and keyed to his spiritual signature, as added specificity. However, considering the particulars of the situation, I want to reiterate that there are some problems with this type of warding. I was going to explain this in greater detail to you and your daughter later but I'll go ahead now just with you…there is an inherent weakness in these wards because they are being used on a unit in a larger structure as opposed to a free standing building."

Magnus let his voice drone a little clinically as he explained, "Free standing buildings are more easily warded and the ward line can be set away from the building to prevent physical attacks that could damage the ward anchors in physical space. However, I cannot properly ward a free standing building like this without the permission of the primary owner(s), likely the real estate company or the condo community collective. As far as I know, your daughter is the only downworlder living in this complex which makes getting that permission difficult."

"Why do you need permission," Hamish asked. A good question some never thought to ask.

"It's very similar to the natural magic that keeps out vampires unless they are invited into a home by a living resident," Magnus clarified. "Unsolicited warding magic done on residential property tied to a living being is completely unreliable and subject to fail within days at the most. It's a left over from the Wild Magic that ruled the Earth long ago and lies mostly dormant now. The Wild Magic senses the lack of spiritual permission from the living person(s) in residence and eventually rises up to 'eat' the unwanted ward, for lack of a better analogy. It has nothing to do with personal power or lack thereof—no one can claim to conquer Wild Magic, not even the Seelie and Unseelie Courts—so if a warlock tells you they can do it because of any reason, I will tell you they are lying and are tricking you out of money. Whatever ward they cast is either fake or will fall, leaving your daughter completely unprotected."

Hamish nodded in understanding so Magnus continued with his explanation of the faults in the type of ward the MacIntyre family had ordered.

"With a unit like this Darren cannot enter himself however he can certainly significantly damage the neighboring walls, the ceiling, or the floor to weaken the warding. For example, is he the type to build a pipe bomb and place it in a neighbor's home?"

Hamish's eyes grew wild. "I hadn't thought of that! Would a werewolf even know to do that?"

Magnus nodded sagely. "There you go. Many downworlders do not think to remember mundane inventions as solutions for magical problems but werewolves are more likely to live and hide among humans, a Lone Wolf even more so, and they are more likely to know of these things."

"Dear Father in heaven…"

"Not to alarm you more but, in addition, the ward is not built to counter agents that Darren could send. As I understand it, obsessive stalkers are likely to recruit others into helping them, whether by trickery and lies or by the fact that these others are terrible people willing to help in terrorizing someone. He could have a friend or family member approach Lorna and the wards would not ping at all."

"This is a nightmare."

"Undeniably," Magnus agreed. "Hamish, I want to urge you to speak again to your daughter about moving. I am also available to answer any questions she might have about the wards or other options."

Magnus unfolded his legs and leaned forward. He called his magic into his hand, nonverbally formed a spell, and his blue fire coalesced into a stylish business card. He paused a moment and then he shook the card in his hand with a snap and let his magic double it.

His business cards were matte black with a blue and green flame shaped logo in one corner and writing in raised gold. On one side was his name and direct contact information. On the other side were the enlarged words "MAGNUS EFFECT INDUSTRIES," the current corporation name he used to manage most of his business ventures that overlapped with the mundane world: Pandemonium, his real estate properties under Topspin Estates, and all of his charity interests. His magical consulting was largely done more privately and entirely in the Shadow World, although he sometimes funneled artifact payments through an antiquities dealer with whom he was acquainted if he wanted to maintain their provenance for legitimacy. He would have done so for Hamish's sword, if he had taken the man's payment.

He offered his business cards to Hamish. "Take my card. I've added a second for your daughter."

The mundane took them in hand and examined one. "'Magnus Effect Industries,'" he read. "M.E.I…have I heard of this company?"

"Possibly," Magnus answered. Hamish was a fund manager after all. "Most of my interests under that particular business name are in North America but I have a small partnership with a London based private museum and library chain previously owned by a dear friend. He recently passed and I'm sure there were bulletins printed in a few business magazines when his assets were re-distributed. The M.E.I business name was likely in one of those."

Magnus paused as he remembered his dear Ragnor, taken from him far sooner than he had ever thought.

"He had the distinction of being an admitted recluse who was also fond of making a splash when he felt it. He requested an old school will reading after the probate period on his mundane assets which ended a couple of months ago. It was quite the public affair as per his wishes. He was another warlock who ran it under the pseudonym 'Denver Underhill.'"

Hamish's eyes widened. "Oh, of course! The Underhill Collection! It was all over the papers last month. So many ancient manuscripts thought lost were discovered and donated to public museums."

"There were several Sumerian treatises on grain propagation and drip irrigation that rocked the agricultural and anthropological worlds, I'm sure," Magnus drawled teasingly.

Hamish laughed, the first one he had done all afternoon. "M.E.I…yes, I've heard of you," he said, looking down at the card again.

"Certainly check my business credentials per your usual methods, if you wish. However, don't be alarmed at some of the things that look…off. There is different information to look for depending on if you know that I am a warlock, as I'm sure you can imagine. Downworlders who do business partially in the mundane world often read like shady companies."

Hamish slanted a smirk at that. "I bet," he said.

"Now," Magnus said, getting back on topic. "I spent time working in real estate in the 70s and the industry was so helpful for moving untraceable immortal wealth, that I carried it over when I reinvented my latest mundane persona in the late 90s and started M.E.I. Under a subsidiary called Topspin Estates, I offer secure and all-inclusive warded housing with several buildings for downworlders living in the mundane world but who still needing the protections afforded by magic. I have medium and low income housing as well but if Lorna prefers a high rise condo such as this"—he waved a hand around the room—"then I have several condominium units for rent, sale, and rent-to-buy in the building I currently reside in overlooking the Manhattan Bridge. They are a bit pricy but there's the added bonus of my personal wards and the protection of living near the High Warlock of Brooklyn included. I can very easily fold the ward I created for your daughter into the standard wards I have around my properties."

Magnus snapped his fingers again and two other cards appeared, black again with the blue and green logo and the M.E.I words written out. These, however, were seemingly devoid of words on the other side…at least to Hamish, in any case.

"Your hand, if you don't mind," he said to the mundane.

Hamish obliged and rested his warm and slightly moist hand in Magnus'. Magnus pressed the man's thumb to one blank card and magic rose to cover both the cards and their hands. Hamish jumped at the feel then the magic rolled across the matte black finish and, in its wake, gold letters rose from the surface, revealing themselves to the mundane:

.com

USERNAME: dw_client

PASSWORD: B4n3fULH ven20!6

Magnus let go of Hamish's hand and left the two cards with the man. "I've imprinted your signature with the cards' magic, so that you can read the words as a mundane. Your wife and daughter should have no problem seeing through the glamour."

He gestured to the writing, "Sign in on my website using this guest information and you will gain access to a hidden website that showcases what my businesses offer to Shadow World clients. Browse my Topspin Estates section to see the housing properties I own and their availabilities and amenities. Please use discretion when logging in and use a secure computer. My cyber security team is top notch but I still don't really want to test them."

Magnus leaned back again. "I do not send out information in emails or listservs or anything of that nature for my magical services. If you wish to keep up with M.E.I Shadow news, you have to log in and look for it yourself. The business card magically updates with a new password every few months, so keep it close. The words are only hidden from mundanes, keep in mind. I welcome all Shadow World denizens to browse my magical services and only a few, select non-magical people."

Magnus quirked an eyebrow and pursed his lips lightly before speaking again, "Now, I will admit most of my properties are in Brooklyn, Queens, and Lower Manhattan. If this is a real problem for Lorna location wise, I can use my real estate contacts to find similar Shadow World properties further north for her. None will boast my level of wards but they will be more secure than trying to shore up a home Darren already knows exists that also isn't fully warded around the entire building."

Hamish studied the business cards in his hands, eyes wide in gratitude, then he tucked the cards into his shirt's breast pocket. "I- thank you, Magnus. I will definitely take a look with Lorna and Coira."

Magnus nodded. "If she doesn't already, Lorna should also consider carrying silver on her person, the purer the better. Silver is naturally faerie tuned and will bend to her will but it is also extremely dangerous for werewolves."

Hamish jumped to reply. "She wears some silver jewelry now at all times."

"That's good. That will help. I will also look further into some spells Lorna can consider that she might be able to carry."

Magnus took a look at the heavy, designer watch on his wrist. 2:57 PM. He stood and extended a hand to Hamish, who stood as well. "I'm going to delay payment for the warding here until Lorna makes a decision about the move. In the-"

"No! Take the sword, please," Hamish nearly yelled. Magnus stopped at the exclamation and Hamish continued in the pause. "Take the sword, even if only for collateral until later. I'm a businessman. I don't want to take a service from you and not pay you anything at all."

Magnus could admit to being a bit shocked. It was not every day that someone honored Magnus' labor by insisting on paying even after he gave them a pass. Somehow, this human had afforded Magnus more respect than most people he had ever met.

Yet Magnus still hesitated some, saying, "It is still a family heirloom…perhaps something less personal…?"

Hamish chuckled again. "It was cherished in my family, to be sure, but I'll tell you, paying you is not the only reason it's here." His smile was a bit self-conscious and it made him look ten years younger. "It would be in poor taste for me to try to pass down an iron blade to faerie children, even worse an iron blade that has a story attached to it about killing fair folk."

Magnus' head dipped to the side in understanding but he stayed silent.

Hamish bent down to softly trace the velvet lining next to the sword, careful not to brush against the artifact. He gently closed the case and turned the latches before shifting the whole thing back into the large duffle bag and zipping it closed.

"No, I have plenty of other MacIntyre artifacts for my family legacy," he said lifting the bag to give to Magnus. "I think my ancestor wouldn't mind that I traded it to keep my daughter safe since the sword was made to keep his family safe as well."

Magnus took the bag reverently, appreciative of the sentiment. He didn't know if he would keep the sword as payment yet but as Hamish had respected him enough to want to pay, he could respect the man enough to not overly question his decisions about his own family's heirlooms. He'd take it as collateral and if Hamish still insisted, perhaps he would donate it to a museum on the Scottish Clans so that its history stayed public and tied to Hamish's family. Like Ragnor had often done.

"I understand, Hamish," he said without divulging his thoughts. "I'll keep it for now. In the meantime, Lorna can move back in if she likes. I've scanned the apartment for any traps as well before I laid the ward. It's as safe as I can make this place, considering what we discussed."

Hamish nodded.

"I want to schedule a consultant meeting later with both you and your daughter, and your wife as well if she wishes. We can meet either in my home office in the building I told you about, in my Pandemonium offices, or I can use portals so we can all visit here or go to your home in Edinburgh. When do you leave the States?"

"Not until this is all settled. I've been working online and telecommuting for now and Coira is on sabbatical from her university position for another five months. We are legally here until our Visa expires in two months. We flew the mundane way," he said awkwardly.

"Excellent. Regardless of Lorna's decision, I want to have a follow up consultation with her to answer any questions she might have about her new warding. Give me," he paused as he made mental calculations. "Give me six days to do more research on Lorna's situation and I'll have at least a few suggestions for her about what she can do to protect herself when not behind these wards."

"Alright."

"Give me a call or send me an email letting me know when you wish to meet so I can schedule you in. Call me direct. I'm currently between executive assistants. I'll answer or return a voicemail message you leave."

"Wonderful," Hamish said shaking Magnus' hand again. "I'll talk with you soon."

"And, honestly, don't try to order assassinations anymore," Magnus said with a bit of pity in his voice that he couldn't quite hide. "If I was anyone else, this could've gone very differently. And by 'different,' I mean 'terribly' for you."

Hamish nodded contritely and that was that.

Magnus and Hamish parted ways, Magnus portalling back home to drop off his latest acquisition. He couldn't magic it to his dimensional safe without opening the rune combination physically.

He went about it quickly as he was supposed to meet Catarina, back from her vacation, for a late lunch slash early dinner at three near her hospital. He sent her a text to let her know he was on his way and told her to order for him. He was already late.

When he popped into his loft, he strode over to his dial safe and entered a rune combination that opened an empty pocket dimension. He placed the sword, bag and all, inside the dimensional space and closed the runic pattern.

Magnus jumped from a portal into an alley behind a brownstone near Gramercy Park at 3:21 PM.

The narrow alleyway let out onto E 21st Street. He was less than a block away from the little Mediterranean restaurant where he had agreed to meet Catarina.

The restaurant was quite busy when he entered. Magnus had to dodge quite a few flung handbags, pushed out chairs, and weaving servers as he wound his way to where he could see Catarina waiting.

She was currently looking down at her cell phone sitting next to a tall glass of some kind of pinkish yellow juice. A plate of picked at calamari sat in the middle of the table, her own individual appetizer plate had crumbs on it.

"Catarina," he called out and she turned to look at him as he approached. He bent down to kiss her warm cheek, currently glamoured her usual dark obsidian when she was among the mundanes. Her razor sharp cheekbones caught the light from the overhead lamp, cool blue undertones gleaming. She pursed her lips as she watched him hang his blazer on the back of his chair before he settled into it.

"I'm so sorry for today, Cat. Time really got away from me. This whole day has been a mess."

"Nearly thirty minutes late, Magnus," she said as she turned off her phone screen and reached over to hand him a menu. "Very unusual for you. I thought your last client was a simple warding."

Magnus gave a breathy scoff. "Let me order a drink before I get into that." He took the menu she offered as he spoke and looked over it.

She smiled, "Oh, that kind of day, was it?"

"You don't know the half of it. So, what did you order for me?"

Catarina raised a hand to call over the waiter and then answered him, "I ordered the lamb kofta with a side of broccoli rabe for you. You've been expending quite a bit of magic today, yes?"

Magnus nodded. A good choice. She knew him well. Before he could say such to her, the waiter arrived. He was a young, slim Black man who looked to be in his mid-twenties with thin dreadlocks pulled back into a neat ponytail.

"Hello, sir, my name is Jerry and I'll be your waiter today," he said with a light voice. "The lamb kofta and salmon kebabs the lady ordered will be out shortly but is there anything I can get for you now? A drink, perhaps?"

"Thank you, Jerry," Magnus replied. "Give me a red Bordeaux and the spicy feta mezze."

"Anything else for you, ma'am?" The young man turned to Catarina.

"Oh, I'm fine. Just more of this strawberry mango juice, if you please."

As the waiter left, Magnus finally took time to look at Catarina. She was in a pair of clean black pants and a flowing white blouse patterned in red, black, and silver flowers. It was buttoned over a black undershirt. A gray pea coat was folded on an empty chair next to them, her black purse sitting on the seat.

Catarina's hair was pulled up and back into a loose bun, curls wrapping around each other. She had recently taken to leaving her hair its natural platinum white even when she glamoured her blue skin for mundane sensibilities. A few coils of hair had escaped from her bun to frame arched white eyebrows and long, soft lashes.

Magnus opened the conversation with, "So, since we're not going to talk about me until I have liquor in me, let's talk about you. What's new with Catarina Loss? How was the end of your vacation?"

Jerry arrived with a cart carrying Magnus' wine, his mezze, and Catarina's refill as she talked about her vacation. The young man showed him the bottle, to which Magnus nodded at the vintage. He poured a taste for Magnus and, when it was approved, then poured an entire glass. He served the mezze to Magnus and swapped Catarina's juice. The entire thing was done quickly and silently, the young man deciding not to interrupt their conversation verbally.

"…and Manu finally had enough with his whining so he threatened to encanto him and just be done with it."

"He didn't." Magnus took a nibble of calamari he had transferred from the platter to his own appetizer plate. Crispy. He reached for his feta mezze next.

"Well, he wouldn't actually encanto him without permission but the man didn't know that, did he? Either way, he finally settled down and let us work on him. I didn't even have to resort to showing him Iron Burn pictures like you suggested, though I was sorely tempted."

"I'm telling you, it would've worked," he protested. Then he shrugged and continued, "Ah well…at least that was over then. I trust the rest of your sex romp vacation was better."

Catarina hesitated and a complicated look stole over her face. Magnus paused as he drank his wine.

"Or maybe it wasn't?"

She sighed. "I had to break it off with Manu," she said and rubbed one of her temples.

"No."

"Yes."

"Completely break it off? Or just one of your breaks?"

Catarina frowned into her glass. "Completely this time, I think."

"What happened," Magnus said in shock.

Catarina and Manu had been seeing each other on and off for nearly eight years. The longest the woman had seen someone since her fiancé had died in the early 90s. She wasn't the dating type, too devoted to her work, so she had mostly abstained since then. Until Manu. He was a fellow healer, a Finnish vampire who had been a surgeon in the 80s and elected to continue the practice after he was turned. How he managed not to savage his patients on the operating table was a mystery to Magnus but he supposed that very discipline and dedication was what had drawn Catarina to him even the little bit that she was. They had entered into a casual and non-exclusive relationship ever since, breaking things off during periods when Manu wanted to date someone else seriously or Catarina got too busy and had no time for him.

"It wasn't working anymore."

Magnus leaned forward in interest. "Why? I thought he was perfect for you. Handsome, devoted to his own craft, currently living on a completely different continent…" He smirked a bit as he said the last, sipping on his wine.

"The day before we were set to leave Vienna, he told me he was thinking of moving to the US," she said a little distastefully. "To New York."

Magnus grimaced. "Well…"

"Indeed."

Magnus understood then. Catarina had always had trouble with romantic relationships. By 'trouble' he meant she didn't like them. In all the years he had known her, several centuries now, she had seriously dated only a handful of times and each one had ended without her managing to fall in love. Every now and then she had a hankering to try again but each relationship petered out in the end.

The closest she had gotten had been a mortal named Roger Lakeland in the 70s, who had talked her into getting engaged even. But he had died of old age in '92 before they had made it to an actual wedding. Roger had been the last person with whom Catarina had tried to have a committed romantic relationship. Ever since, she had stuck to the occasional one-night-stand and then Manu, with whom she had a friends-with-benefits type of thing.

Magnus frowned a tad. "I honestly wasn't expecting you to say this at all, Cat. I thought Manu understood everything…"

Catarina had only recently started to use the word "aromantic" for herself. When they were younger, she had called herself a "willful spinster" and left it at that, but times had changed and new words had been formed. Catarina had comfortably settled into her new identity about four years before. She had told Magnus that Manu had understood when she'd explained her feelings to him then, but perhaps something had changed.

Jerry appeared at the table with their main meals and quietly set their plates before them, not interrupting again and simply going about his work. Magnus made a mental note to tip him extra for his insightful intuition.

Magnus' mouth watered a bit as he caught the rich scent of his lamb but he focused back onto Catarina as she spoke.

"For almost a year or so now he's been kind of pushing for more." She sounded annoyed and a bit tired.

Magnus frowned. "You never said…not that you owe me an explanation or anything."

Catarina sighed as she dug into her salmon. "I didn't want to bother you with something so trivial what with everything that you've been dealing with…Valentine and Madzie and Alec."

Magnus set down his fork of broccoli before it reached his mouth. "It wouldn't be trivial to me, Cat. You're my best friend. I want to know if you're unhappy. Plus you listen to me complain about my life all the time. I'm always happy to return the favor."

Catarina smiled at him, her red lipstick fading quickly as she ate.

He went back to his food and carried on, "So, how did Manu take it?"

Catarina shrugged. "As well as expected. We fought a little but it's pretty definitively over. It's a bit of a relief, to be honest."

Magnus shook his head. "Good riddance then," he said and saluted her with his wine. They clinked glasses and went to imbibe.

"I will miss his tongue, though," she said, her own tongue poking her cheek salaciously.

Magnus coughed as he choked on a laugh, wine gone down the wrong pipe.

"A divine palate, would you say," he shot back when he got control of his cough.

"Truly a gift from the gods."

Magnus' eyes gleamed. "You didn't find him a bit mouthy?"

"That only bothered me when he spoke," she said and wiggled her eyebrows.

They both dissolved into giggles and a tear squeezed from Magnus' eye. He dabbed at it lightly, trying not to smudge his makeup.

They talked then for a long time about many things: work, the food…a documentary on Netflix she had recommended to him. They finished their meal and Magnus was already on his fourth glass of wine. He had decided to have Jerry leave the bottle so as not to bother the young man with constant refills. Catarina had likewise asked for a carafe of juice for herself.

It was a good talk, as always with Catarina. A fine distraction from the several things that had so thoroughly thrown him that day. From Madzie's punishment talk that morning to his and Alec's non-fight about her adoption to Hamish's solicitation to murder. Yet as the meal went on, Magnus could sense Catarina growing curious and the things he had been trying to ignore began pressing on his mind again.

"Alright, Magnus, we've talked about me and my work and the prison industrial complex…it's time to talk about you," she said, staring deep into his eyes. "What happened today that has you so worried?"

Magnus sighed and very discretely raised a localized privacy spell around their table. It would deflect attention from them and prevent people from overhearing their conversation.

Catarina widened her eyes, knowing exactly what the spell was. They had long since mastered how to talk in public without letting mundanes know what they were saying but now she knew he wanted to be more direct.

"Okay…" she said wonderingly.

He told her about Hamish and the attempted hit solicitation. After she worried with him over the young woman, Lorna, she admitted that she found the whole idea of him as a paid assassin slightly amusing.

"There's something else, Magnus. Something more than this business with MacIntyre."

"Where to even start," he said, contemplating his wine. He glanced to the front of the restaurant and saw that the sky was already getting dark as twilight approached. He noticed that the restaurant had shifted to serving dinner, the meals being delivered beyond the faint edge of his privacy barrier reflecting the change in menu.

"Start from the beginning," Catarina said, her voice pulling him back to look at her.

He met her eyes and before he knew it everything that had happened that morning with Madzie and Alec poured out. She listened without interruption and only spoke when he trailed off after explaining dropping Madzie off with Tessa.

Catarina sucked in a slow breath. "And all before noon?"

Magnus hummed.

"Well, it sounds as if Alec took it fairly well, considering."

"True," he said. "I still feel like I bungled it somehow. Maybe if I hadn't waited so long to bring it up. I could've told him before he went to the Clave conference or…or-"

"Stop," she cut in. "You can't lament the past like that, Magnus. What's done is done. Besides, Madzie was in Florida then. There was every reason to think her and the Morenos would work out. Even I thought Gigi and Elena were a good fit for her. She only came back to you after he'd already left for his work. Don't beat yourself up about something that's not even true."

Magnus nodded obediently. "I just wish I knew what he was going to do," he said. He tried valiantly not to let a whine into his voice but the look Catarina gave him told him he'd failed.

"What do you want to happen," she asked gently.

Magnus shook his head, not even sure himself. "I don't even know. I want this to not be a problem."

"That's unrealistic, Magnus."

"When have I ever held to realism? Unless you mean magical realism…" He twirled a graceful hand near his face and quirked an eyebrow.

"You know what I meant. Don't deflect."

He did know. "I know it's not fair of me to ask this of him but…I wish there was some way I could tell him that he wouldn't have to worry about us or about suddenly becoming a father. I want to adopt Madzie myself, he doesn't need to have any part in it at all, if he wishes."

"From what you've said, it seems you have told him that."

Magnus waved dismissively, "Well, I wish there was some way that Alec would believe me."

Catarina's eyes grew sharp. "And if he doesn't? If he decides that this is too much and he can't date a single father, what then?"

Magnus went quiet, avoiding her eyes.

"I don't want to be cruel, Magnus, but you need to think about this possibility. You are making a choice to bring this little girl into your life and the consequences might be painful for you. What will you do if Madzie causes you to lose Alec?"

It was unthinkable. Yet Catarina was forcing him to contemplate it. He felt a flash of anger then, burning hot and red and bitter, before it quickly faded. No, that wasn't fair to her. Magnus had been afraid of that outcome for a long time too. Ever since he had started contemplating taking in Madzie full time. Catarina was only looking out for him, as she always did. He hoped his eyes had stayed the mellow brown of his glamour so she couldn't tell what he had briefly thought.

"I- I know it could happen, that he could…leave me."

She reached over and settled her hand on his arm which had been lying on the white tablecloth next to his empty plate.

"Could you accept it? Would you let him go or would you go back to trying to place Madzie?"

He met her eyes then and pulled his arm until he could catch her hand in his.

"Madzie is just a child. I'm the adult. I can- I can't keep moving her around. It's not good for her," he licked his lips and Catarina squeezed at his fingers.

Even as he struggled to speak, the answer to Catarina's question hung on the tip of his tongue. He remembered the way Madzie's hand swung in his as they jumped from the portal into the Spiral Labyrinth that afternoon. The way her hair bounced as she ran to join the other little warlock children playing in the mystic horticultural garden. The way her tears dripped like clear pearls as she clung to him when she cried.

"She's my child, Cat. It's already too late to turn back," he whispered, voice afraid.

Catarina shook her head sadly as she said, "It'd tear you apart to give him up, Magnus."

Alec's handsome face was shining in his mind, caught in that bashful smile he had whenever he was embarrassed, cheeks burning a light rose. The strength of his grip echoed across Magnus' skin in memory. The way his archer's callouses felt against him when they made love. The sound of his voice, heavy and rough, in the morning when they woke from slumber.

Magnus sucked in a shuddering breath and looked at Catarina with a watery smile.

"I would just have to bear it."

And he would. Somehow.

* * *

A/N: Well, there you go. A long chapter for you. Leave some comments for me, guys. Let me know how I'm doing. :)


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I had some spare time so I was able to finish chapter 5 way earlier than I was expecting. So here's a treat. Leave me some comments. :)

* * *

Chapter 5

If you had asked Alec even one day ago how his return home would go, he would not have answered with anything like what had _actually_ happened.

He had planned on a completely different time, really. A whole romantic thing. Or what he thought a romantic morning would be. This being his first relationship, he didn't have much to compare it to. He'd thought that he'd make Magnus the best breakfast the man had ever eaten, maybe they'd kiss a little…or a lot. They'd swap a few stories to catch up their weeks and then they'd both go in to work.

Then he had seen that Madzie was there again so he'd had to adapt. He had adjusted for less kissing and more food for a third appetite. Still, he'd thought it wouldn't be a total loss, and it wasn't at first. It had all started off well. There were a few awkward moments during breakfast when his mother came up but Alec thought it had been smoothed over alright. Before he knew it, everything had taken a sharp turn towards emotional and heavy, and he had felt himself sinking.

Suddenly he had to get used to the idea of a child, of _Madzie_ , being with them. She wasn't just going to be stopping in every now and then but there all the time. A permanent fixture in Magnus' life…in _their_ lives. He had no idea how to deal with that.

He was so thrown by the experience that he was having a hard time concentrating in the status report meeting he was holding.

Alec's office was currently stuffed with shadowhunters for a meeting being held to bring him up to speed with what had happened during his time away. While Aldertree had been Acting Head, he had updated a lot of the Institute's hardware and had also turned Alec's office into a private conference room. When Alec had moved back in, he had elected to keep the long table and electronics setup for his own meetings. He may have hated the guy but he had to admit, Aldertree had a few good ideas when it came to administration and efficient office management.

Focusing on the décor was exactly the kind of mental wandering he didn't need to be doing right then. He had work to do. Raj was speaking at the moment but Alec felt like he was hearing everything through a muffled barrier, a dulled murmur drowned out by his thoughts. He hoped his face was suitably masked. He reinforced his standard resting scowl in order to cover his distraction.

Alec glanced over to where Jace sat, his face turned down to look at his tablet as he made notes. Alec tentatively pressed at the parabatai bond and it buzzed in that way that told him Jace was fine but feeling slightly harassed or a little annoyed at something. He needed to talk to someone about Magnus but he didn't want to bother his brother if he was feeling messed up about Clary or anything still. Jace felt okay so maybe Alec could talk to him later.

Alec looked back down to his paper notepad. There were a few scribbled lines but it was nearly blank from the complete lack of attention he'd been paying his subordinates during their reports. He bit back a sigh. He could already tell he was going to have extra work today since he'd have to go over all of the reports again in written form when he had a less jumbled mind.

Alec looked back up and tried to focus on Raj. He managed to tune in just in time to catch a question directed at him.

"…narrowed down when the new recruits arrive?"

Alec shifted in his chair and cleared his throat, taking a moment to try to filter the sentence through his preoccupied thoughts. Right. The Institute was set to receive new cadets to fill in their ranks. "Ah, yes, they have," he said then he clicked a tab on his tablet view screen to open up an intra-office email. "Right. Robert says they'll arrive in two to three weeks."

Maybe no one had noticed that he had zoned. He had to get it together.

Raj huffed. "We can't get any narrower? I have a budget to maintain and inventory to prep for."

Alec shrugged. "That's all he can say. The Council is holding major troop movements really close to the chest right now. They're worried about leaks. The best we can hope for is a few days' notice, but realistically we're probably looking at day of. Can you manage it with your old duties?"

Raj was currently doing double duty trying to manage his own field team and handling Weapons Training and Management. He had recently taken over to fill in the gap after Hodge had defected and then later was killed. They hadn't needed a dedicated trainer right after the event since the Institute had put a temporary halt to fostering duties. Alec had redirected all incoming minors to less targeted and strategically important Institutes when the war had started to heat up and he'd realized that New York was going to be a hotbed of Circle activity.

However, the influx of new and young cadets in the next few weeks meant they needed a Weapons Master again to make sure they were field ready and stayed that way. The shadowhunter ranks were losing soldiers rapidly and something told Alec that these new cadets were likely being rushed through their training just for more foot soldiers. The Clave worked like that sometimes.

Raj scowled in irritation at Alec's words. "I'll make it work but know that I'm filing a formal complaint about this. How can they expect us to get anything done like this? Comprehensive information is paramount to mission readiness."

Alec sympathized. "Write up the ticket in your bi-weekly and I'll log and send it with my Institute report. You're not the only one with grievances, trust me."

Raj's eyes rolled hard but he nodded. The whole room murmured as more people agreed. Alec took a sip of coffee from a cup in front of him to give himself time as he thought.

He looked around the conference table at the dozen or so shadowhunters in attendance at the current meeting. All he saw were long faces, baggy eyes, and restrained anger. Anxiety gnawed at every person there, a sense that something was off kilter.

General morale in the New York Institute was at an all-time low. It had started to decline with the arrival of Clary and all of her chaos, then had taken a sharp dive after Hodge had been revealed to be a traitor and they'd lost the Mortal Cup and Jace in one fell swoop. It hadn't helped that there had been so many leadership changes in so few months. More than there had been in the last twenty years.

Then Valentine had hit the Silent Brothers, then the Institute proper, and they'd lost the Soul Sword too. Two Mortal Instruments were gone. They'd also lost _so many_ people. Valentine's attack on the Institute alone had taken out twenty-one soldiers and nearly twice that in dead downworlders. It had been a disaster.

Alec knew that everyone felt like they were standing on shifting sand. There was no stability for his soldiers to hold onto. Every time they learned of a new death in the field, the whole Institute grew ever more restless. There was an undercurrent of fear among his people. An encroaching terror that squeezed at the airways and made the heart pound. No one said anything out loud but everyone had the same thought: maybe they were losing.

"Alright everyone, thank you for your reports. Jace, it seems like you and Izzy handled things well while I was gone," he said and clicked a button on his tablet screen to access the conference session of the electronic mission board next to the briefing table.

Alec looked down to one of the few notes he had managed to scribble on his notepad. "Jace, I want you to go over the D.A. projections again. Work with Dani on it. She's been in the field on standard missions a lot more than you and I lately. There's been an increase in demon activity recently that feels off to me. See if you two can figure out what's happening there."

Jace frowned and asked, "Are you worried about something specific?"

"Not quite that but," Alec shook his head and clicked on his tablet to pull up an analytics report presented earlier for everyone to see. "Take a look at this. There's been a steady and consistent increase in the past four months. Not just general activity but full demon materialization."

Jace took another look at the display board and offered, "Halloween's coming up. Maybe it's just the usual holiday activity from dumb, drunk mundanes."

"Possibly. It's the consistency that's making me worried."

Dani, an Argentinian shadowhunter who had transferred less than a year ago out of the Buenos Aires Institute, spoke up then, "Do you think it may be Valentine?" Her voice was tight with concern.

"Could be or something completely different…or it could be nothing at all. Either way, we need to know," he said as he privately pulled up Dani's mission assignments on his tablet. "Dani, I'm pulling you from Jon's team for the next week for this. You have a strong background with statistical analytics and Jace is good with research. Work on this and give me a report at the next status meeting." He made a note to change her assignments and inform her supervising officer. She and Jace both nodded.

He looked at his watch. "Okay, that's it for today. I'm officially calling a close to this meeting at 1:26pm. Everyone, get some lunch if you haven't already."

He texted Jace quickly to lock him in for a late lunch at 2:00pm, not wanting to stop the flow of traffic as they left. To his right he saw Lindsay make note of the time the meeting was called in the meeting minutes as everyone rose to leave. Lindsay was currently partially working as his assistant.

"Ah, Lindsay and Raj, could you both stay after. I need to have a word."

They both paused as everyone left the room, Lindsay in polite expectation and Raj with a glower.

He turned to Lindsay first and said, "When you finish with the meeting minutes, make sure to send a copy to Izzy."—Lindsay fumbled to grab her pen and pad to hurriedly write down what he was telling her.—"She was busy today on an urgent blood work diagnosis so she couldn't make it. Also, send a note along with it to have her meet me when she can today or tomorrow. I wanted to talk to her about the Midtown body she worked on two days ago. Next, give me an idea of inventory in preparation for the cadets that are coming in: housing, weaponry, combat clothing, etc. Coordinate with Raj when you have to. Lastly, I may have a new assignment for you. I didn't mention it on record since I haven't made a firm decision yet. Don't pull any field missions for the time being until I decide. I'll let you know by end of day tomorrow at the latest. That's all. Thank you, Lindsay, and close the door, would you?"

Lindsay adjusted her glasses as she nodded and left the room, sparing a single, curious glance at Raj before she left. The small click of the door closing followed in her wake.

There was a vibration in his pocket and he pulled out his phone to see that Jace had agreed to eat lunch with him. Good.

"What do you want, Lightwood," asked Raj impatiently, foot jittering on the floor.

Alec looked up from his phone then stood from his place at the conference table and moved to sit behind his desk, taking his notes, tablet, and coffee with him. He settled into the tall, wing backed chair and gestured for Raj to sit in front of him.

"Take a seat, Raj."

Raj settled into his seat with a huff, annoyed but obeying orders. His usual modus operandi these days.

"If this is about the complaint earlier, I'm not taking it back. It's not even about you this time, so you don't need to get bent out of shape about it." Raj crossed one leg over the other and shook his foot, resting his personal tablet in his lap.

It was a rude tone and posture to have in front of a commanding officer, patently insubordinate, yet not as rude in front of a friend and comrade you'd known for over a decade. Raj and Alec were in that weird space where they were not quite equal rank but felt like better acquaintances. Alec still hadn't ironed out the kinks of commanding people who he grew up with. It was worse with Jace and Izzy, of course, since they were his family and he would do anything for them, but he felt it with Raj sometimes too.

The rude demeanor from Raj was a calculated move. As if Raj were declaring without actually _declaring_ that he would treat Alec as only a comrade-in-arms while simultaneously having his words let Alec know he wasn't a friend. Raj had recently been displaying a curious mix of aggressive obedience to the Law and a marked irreverence for rank and authority. Well, for _Lightwood_ authority. Obviously there was a general problem Raj was having with a lot of things Lightwood and, per his internal promise to Aunty Nasreen, Alec thought it was time to find out what.

But first things first.

"What do you think of Lindsay, Raj?"

Raj went from annoyed to utterly confused in less than a second.

"What?" he asked slowly, drawing out the word into several syllables.

"Lindsay. Give me your assessment of her."

Still puzzled but going along with the topic, Raj answered, "Ah…as a woman, not my type. She's too…timid for me, I guess. As a warrior, she's alright. A little weak at hand-to-hand but very competent in weapons. I- Why are you asking me about this?"

Raj shifted, raising his shoulders in uneasiness and dropping his leg from its casual cross over the knee.

Alec moved his coffee to the side and reached to the right of his desk for a paper file he had pulled earlier that day, before the meeting. His desk was large, wooden, and antique. Like much of the furniture in the Institute, it was designed to fit an aesthetic from long before he was born. The top of his desk was neat and organized. No stray papers or left over post it stamps. He kept things as clean as possible as that helped him keep his thoughts clear too.

"I've been thinking of assigning Lindsay to you as an assistant weapons trainer," Alec said. He opened the file and flipped through some pages. It was Lindsay's personnel records. "As you said, she scores high in weapons. She also scored high in interpersonal communication and she has a strong background in organizational management from her time in Lisbon…"

Alec stopped flipping through Lindsay's file to meet Raj's eyes directly.

"How would you feel about working with her more permanently? I want to assign her to you to help with your work load but if you think you can't work with her, I'll try to find someone else."

Raj narrowed his eyes and said, "I can work with her _fine_." His words told Alec one thing but his voice was tight. Alec could tell that fury was coursing through the man, tensing his muscles and making his gaze radiate displeasure.

Alec sighed. "You say that but you look like you want to kill me right now, so what's the problem?"

"You're keeping me as Weapons Master?"

Alec furrowed his brows. "You're angry that you're assigned as the new Weapons Master?"

Raj somehow managed to grow angrier. "I don't know if it's because of what happened with Magnus when you were in your coma or last year with that Seelie knight and your sister or something even further back…but I won't be holed up here like Hodge, pushed out of the way of you and your dream team of favorites."

Alec threw his hands up in shock, not expecting this level of rage from Raj at all. "Okay, whoa. Let's take a step back. First of all, you think this is just some ploy to get you out of the field? Why would you think that?"

"Oh, I don't know…maybe it's because recently all you and your friends have done is step out of line and ridicule the rest of us for not committing career suicide. Well, sorry, not everyone can expect to have the Clave look the other way every time we commit treason against the Law. But your family is blessed like that, aren't they? Commit a grave sin, get rewarded with more power."

Alec felt a little blindsided. "Where is this coming from?"

But Raj continued as if Alec had never spoken. "You're just the same, Alec. You undermined Aldertree at every turn, openly flouting Clave Law, and yet they still reassigned you back to Acting Head. And the moment you get back into power, suddenly you half pull me from the field and pick me to become newbie shadowhunter babysitter. Now you're hinting that you're making it permanent. But sure, you don't have an agenda… _right_."

"You think I have some kind of vendetta against you," Alec said, shocked.

"I don't _know_ what your problem is, Lightwood. All I know is that I am a good soldier. I follow the Law, I am loyal to the Clave, I am skilled at my job, and I obey orders. Why are you trying to bench me?"

Alec got a little pissed as he thought over some of Raj's accusations. Alec could admit that his family did have some kind of mythic ability to not be outright de-runed by the Clave, but that was due to his parents' hard work in Idris, playing politics. Some of it could be considered unearned trust considering their history in the Circle but most of it was due to actual work they had done after they had left. Work done protecting New York and overseeing the New York Conclave. The Lightwoods had rebuilt their reputation from garbage for the past twenty-six years. He, Izzy, and Jace were trying to continue that work even though sometimes they disagreed with how their parents did things, especially when it came to prejudices against downworlders.

While Alec _was_ learning a lot of statecraft from his mother, he felt a bit insulted that Raj would imply that he was just misusing his position to punish Raj for personal reasons.

Alec's voice became strident with his own anger. "It feels like you're the one with a problem, Raj. I don't have an 'agenda.' I won't pretend that my family doesn't have skeletons in its closet. I recently found out about those myself and I still don't know how I feel about them, but we have earned our place. I don't always like what they do but my parents worked hard to restore our honor. If nothing else, Izzy and Jace and I have earned at least our place in this Institute as for our work fighting against Valentine and trying to change things for the better with the Down World. I'm sorry if that meant that we were sometimes on different sides, Raj, but you could've stood with us too."

Raj scoffed. "Really? 'Stand with you?' _You_ didn't even 'stand with' Izzy and Jace half the time. The only reason you stand with them now is because you got yourself a warlock boyfriend and now you suddenly give a crap."

Alec's face flamed red. He wanted to protest but he couldn't. Not at that, at least. Raj was right that his change had mostly come after meeting and starting to date Magnus. Alec attributed much of his moral growth to being around Magnus' kindness and generosity.

But that was expected. Magnus was magnetic and powerful, influential as a leader and an example to others in ways Alec could only _dream_ of becoming one day. He wouldn't be ashamed of Magnus' influence even if he was ashamed that it took him so long to want to change.

"I won't act like something I'm not, Raj. I know I have a lot of prejudices to overcome and I didn't handle things well with Meliorn. I don't need you to remind me."

Alec grew calm then, voice mellowing as he reasoned out his argument. Raj still looked angry but he didn't interrupt so Alec continued.

"Yes, Magnus helped me see a lot of things more clearly but I won't have you doubt my sincerity now." Alec shook his head, trying to figure out how they'd even gotten onto the topic of his bigotries in the first place. "Anyway, my shortcomings in relation to downworlder prejudices aren't even the issue. Me failing to do the right thing with Meliorn doesn't have any bearing on you. You still could've joined Izzy and Jace."

Raj shook his head and looked away, saying, "What makes you think they—that _any_ of you—would've welcomed me?"

"We've known you for nineteen years, Raj. You're our friend."

Raj's temper blew up then and his head whipped around to stare at Alec incredulously. Alec could see that what he had said had struck some kind of chord in the other man. Alec had never seen Raj as angry as he was then. Spit was almost about to fly from his mouth and he was using his right hand to angrily emphasize his points.

"Oh, that's rich. 'Friend.' How was I supposed to know I was your friend? When you try to give me some shit detail taking care of wet-behind-the-ears cadets? When Lydia belittles me because I couldn't single handedly take on the High Warlock of Brooklyn while I was following orders and _unarmed_? When Izzy mocks every single thing I say like I'm the worst person in the world?"

Raj was yelling by then and he jerked up out of his seat with his ire, hands gesticulating wildly.

Raj's voice grew mocking, "Oh, I know, maybe I should've known we were 'friends' _when you picked Jace over me to be your parabatai!_ "

Alec was speechless. Raj's words echoed in the room and he was panting harshly, his eyes wide and limbs shaking. Alec absently realized that Raj had probably not meant to say that last part out loud.

But he _had_ said it and now Alec knew. Alec understood Raj in that moment in a way that he hadn't in over a decade.

Before he could respond, Raj was out the door. Alec had no power to stop him. His body felt lethargic and his throat felt closed.

Alec remembered when they were young, even before Jace had gotten there when Alec was eleven and Raj was thirteen. Alec had looked up to Raj because of his comprehensive knowledge of so many types of weapons and his strange ability to get Aunty Nasreen and Aunty Priya to sneak them sweets even though it was against the rules and Alec's own mother would've scolded them.

Raj and Alec had played together a lot in those three years before Jace had arrived. They'd trained together. Sat in class together. Got in trouble together. They had been inseparable.

Until they weren't anymore.

Maryse and Robert had decided to bring Alec and Izzy back to New York instead of fostering them in Mumbai. They had taken in Jace and they had said they wanted his first few years to be in New York with all of the Lightwoods together.

So Alec and Raj had parted ways for several years. Alec remembered hearing that Raj had been fostered out to the Cairo Institute for a year, then the Istanbul Institute.

It wasn't until Alec was thirteen that Raj had been cycled back to fostering in New York and by then Jace had already become Alec's best friend and…his secret crush. That was also the time when Alec's parents, Izzy…hell, _everyone_ they knew really had started to encourage Jace and Alec to think about taking the Parabatai Oath. Everyone kept telling them that they would be perfect as paired brothers, and after he had worked through his complicated un-brotherly feelings for Jace, Alec could admit they were right.

Apparently Raj had felt differently back then.

Alec remembered it being a little awkward around Raj back then, both of them a little unsure how to be friends again after so long apart. He didn't remember it being so bad that things could've gotten like they were in the present. He _certainly_ didn't remember Raj wanting to be his parabatai.

Alec's phone buzzed and pulled him from his thoughts. It was Jace. He looked at the time—1:58pm—and read the message:

 _Hey, eat in commissary or out?_

Alec licked his lips and thought about accidentally seeing Raj after the blow out they'd just had, then he decided to return Jace's message with:

 _Out. Meet out front in 5._

Jace texted his assent and Alec sighed in relief.

Alec could feel a headache coming on. From his almost argument with Magnus over Madzie to the outright fight he'd just had with Raj, the whole day had been a damned wash. He wanted to chuck everything into the garbage and keep walking.

But this was his life. He could change some things but not everything, despite his willpower. He had to figure it out and live with it.

* * *

Jace, Alec, and Izzy sat in a corner booth of a vibrant little sandwich bistro off of Park Avenue S. It was half past 2 in the afternoon and the mundanes were bustling about outside the window as Alec watched. A swirl of people dressed in a rainbow of colors. Across from him sat both his siblings while they all ate.

The three shadowhunters had left their glamours off to eat at this shop that Izzy 'swore by,' apparently. Alec had to admit his tuna melt was delicious so he had no complaints.

The inside of the bistro was just as colorful as the outside, Alec saw, and in their typical black shadowhunter gear they looked like a dark smudge staining a Picasso.

Alec almost snorted. Now his inner voice sounded like Clary, Angel save him. Clary was absent from the Lightwood siblings' lunch plans. She was off with Simon canoodling or whatever they did together. They had been doing it more often now that they'd discovered Simon could walk in the daylight again. Alec thanked the Angel for small mercies as he could not even imagine trying to talk about his personal problems with Magnus and Raj to her. They weren't as acrimonious as they used to be but that didn't mean he wanted to tell her all of his business. He had his siblings for that and that was just fine for him.

Izzy had heard Alec and Jace were eating out for lunch and had invited herself along. Alec had assumed Izzy was too busy with her work so he hadn't bothered before but he was glad she was there too. Truth be told, Izzy was probably the better person to talk with about his relationship problems than Jace. She was the only one out of all of them to have had healthy relationships before. Jace was more of a hit and run dater until he had tried to settled down…with the girl he later found out was his sister.

Alec turned back to watch Izzy as she animatedly talked to Jace about some gruesome demon related corpse she had recently examined. Both Jace and Alec had grown quite accustomed to her enthusiasm for dead bodies and her penchant for talking about the topic while they were eating. She had long since trained them to stop gagging and complaining. Now they just nodded and stuffed their mouths along with her. It was almost Pavlovian and Alec sometimes wondered if there would come a point when things would flip and they'd start to have flashes of gory autopsies during meals even when they weren't eating with Izzy.

"…anyway, that's when I excised the boil—I mean, pus _everywhere_ —and found that sliver of pincer stuck in his tailbone, corrupting his whole system. Can you believe it?"

Jace widened his eyes a little, swallowed hard around his BLT sandwich, and dutifully replied, "Death by shax demon splinter in the ass…how about that, huh, Alec?"

Jace turned to him with a little laugh, practically begging to be rescued from Izzy's grisly torment. Alec decided to oblige him. Besides, it was time they talked about what he'd invited Jace to lunch for anyway. Magnus and Madzie and Raj and his life spinning out of his control. Again.

"Yeah, that all sounds really interesting," he said. He hadn't quite managed to get the despondent tone out of his voice and his siblings, both deeply attuned to his moods in different ways, immediately took notice.

All talk of lancing boils ended and Izzy instantly stopped eating her own sandwich—chicken and ranch on rye—to look closely at Alec. Whatever she saw in his face made her set her entire hoagie down on her plate. She carefully wiped her mouth with a napkin, settled back into the cushioned wall behind her and locked eyes with Alec.

"Tell us what's happening, big brother."

Jace nodded and added, "Lay it on us."

Alec swiped his eyes back and forth between them, grateful even through his own misery that he had these two in his life.

Alec decided to get straight to the point. "Did you guys know that Raj wanted to be my parabatai when we were younger?"

Jace's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "What? No. We had no idea." He glanced at Izzy as he spoke and, seeing her face, he hesitantly continued, "or should I say, _I_ had no idea about it."

Alec kept his eyes on Izzy the whole time. "You knew?"

She gave a slight grimace but nodded. "Pretty much since I was thirteen."

Alec shook his head little and asked, "What? Wh- How?"

Izzy shrugged. "It was little things. How close you guys were before Jace got here. How upset he got when we were told we had to come back to welcome Jace and we weren't going to see each other much anymore. When we would train in Mumbai, he always tried really hard to pair up with you. The way he would talk about you sometimes. Like you were already brothers."

Jace looked as mystified as Alec felt. "Hey, man, just to let you know, this all went way over my head."

Izzy turned to him and explained, "Well, a lot of it was from before you got here. Then when he finally came back to fostering with us, you'd already become Alec's best friend so he let it simmer down. Made it real passive aggressive sometimes, actually."

She turned back to look at Alec again then. "Didn't you ever wonder why Aunty Nasreen took over my training but made sure to pair you and Raj off under Uncle Zahir? I'm pretty sure she was trying to see if you and Raj would be compatible parabatai candidates."

Alec could hardly believe it. "I didn't even notice," he murmured. "I just thought she wanted to personally tutor you in _savuku_ since you took so well to it and I was so obviously never going to master the javelin."

Izzy shrugged and added, "Yeah, well, by the time you would've started to notice, Jace was already there and you didn't have eyes for anyone else…not even for me, sometimes." A strange look stole over her face then and Alec wondered if there was more he hadn't noticed from that time than Raj. Before he could ask anything, however, Izzy continued. "And once everyone saw you and Jace fight…well, it was pretty clear to see that even though you and Raj fought well together, you and Jace were something else entirely. I think she let it go then."

Alec sat still, the noise of the busy bistro fading in the background.

He remembered suddenly when he was fifteen and Raj had just come to the New York Institute to study under his father for a time. He was fresh from the portal from Istanbul and he carried with him a whiff of cinnamon and apples, like he'd just had breakfast. Raj's smile had been radiant and wide, and Alec had remembered being happy that he was there despite not really knowing if they'd get along as well as they used to do.

He had been handsome. Handsome in that way Alec had found many boys then. He had still been trying to rationalize why men had so often caught his eye when they trained, when they ate, when they laughed, even when they got angry. Once he saw he was noticing Raj in that way too, Alec had shied away from him a little, hoping he wouldn't notice. That tactic hadn't worked out as well with Jace later because they lived so close together for so long and everything got more confusing when they became brothers, but with Raj it got easier to rest his uncomfortable truths.

That was because the smile Raj had initially worn when meeting him had grown less and less as the day had worn on—after Jace had been introduced to him, Alec just then realized, and they'd had their first training session together. Each hour, each day that had passed Raj grew more distant and quiet.

Alec remembered reasoning that it was just general awkwardness. That maybe the two year gap between them that had not mattered when they were little meant all the world now that Raj was so close to being an adult while Alec was still an awkward boy. It had been like that. Alec had felt like the most useless boy in the Institute: couldn't live up to his parents' expectations, couldn't measure up to Jace, and couldn't control his feelings.

Alec sat back in his booth in the bistro still thinking about his obliviousness. Across from him his siblings stayed quiet as they watched him. Then Izzy spoke.

"What brought this on, _hermano_?"

Alec looked up at her, face clouded with worry. "Raj and I had a fight this afternoon."

"A fight?" Jace asked.

"After the meeting ended, I called him back to talk more about his Weapons Master duties and things got…heated."

Izzy made a surprised noise and asked, "What happened? What did he say?"

Alec waved a hand and slightly deflected, not wanting to go into details. "He said a lot of things. About me, about the job, about you guys even. He was angry. Then I got angry. It all just blew up."

He watched Jace and Izzy exchange a glance between them and the movement triggered a specific memory of something Raj had said during his diatribe. It made Alec wonder so he asked the two, "Do you think we're…clique-ish?" He gestured between the three of them.

A guilty look rolled over Izzy's face and she grimaced. "Probably…"

"Yeah," Jace added, trailing off.

Izzy shifted uncomfortably. "I mean, especially after you guys became parabatai, then mom and dad started to really lean on the 'Lightwood Family name' thing." She shrugged and continued, "I don't know, we kind of just…closed ranks."

If Alec really thought about it, he could see that it was true. In fact, if his feelings about Clary and Simon suddenly appearing in their lives were any indication, it was blatantly obvious how unwelcoming he could be to anyone he didn't consider a Lightwood. Either they were irritating…or they were Magnus. Just like Raj had said earlier, it was only after meeting Magnus that Alec had started to really want to change himself.

Alec exhaled a soft laugh. "No wonder he was pissed off."

Jace scoffed and leaned back, shoulders canting a little as his posture grew more arrogant. "I don't know, man. I mean maybe we weren't the most welcoming bunch but Raj isn't all innocent. He's done douchebag things quite a lot lately too."

Izzy gave a slight nod. "Also he's been really off-color with his comments. What's up with that?"

Jace dipped a hand to her side. "Right? Plus, we're not the _most_ closed off trio. I mean, we let Clary in."

Alec snorted. "Uh, I'm pretty sure _you_ let Clary in and we were forced to go along with it grudgingly."

Izzy smiled and said, "Speak for yourself, Alec. I liked Clary from the start too."

Alec rolled his eyes and tried not to pout. Well, maybe that was true.

Still, none of that solved his dilemma with Raj. He had no idea what to do about it. Even if Alec didn't want to improve things with him because they all had been childhood friends, Raj was still a capable soldier and comrade. Alec would hate to permanently lose him from the Institute.

Alec abruptly remembered that he'd forgotten to give Raj Aunty Nasreen's message and he felt even more like a heel. He had to fix things with Raj. This couldn't go on forever.

It was a running theme for Alec that day as his mind wandered to Magnus and Madzie. He still hadn't talked to his siblings about that morning.

"Is that Magnus?"

It was Izzy talking. Alec looked up at her to find she was staring out of the bistro's window and across the street. Her eyes squinted as she concentrated and then a delighted look stole over her face.

"It _is_ Magnus!"

Alec jerked his head around to look to his right and just behind. Through the slightly scratched panes of glass covered in the reverse image of the bistro's name and logo, Alec could just make out Magnus' form passing on the opposite street. He was hurrying along the sidewalk, striding confidently through the foot traffic around him. His imposing demeanor was causing even the random passerby to deferentially move to the side. They probably weren't even aware they were behaving that way. It was a natural feeling to get sometimes when Magnus radiated a certain prestige. Even across the street, through the people and cars separating them, Alec could feel the echo of that power.

Magnus wore a dark suit and, though it was hard to make out exactly, the collar of his shirt looked like it was blue. His hair stood up from his forehead in the slight bump of a pompadour similar to what he had worn for Izzy's trial all those months ago. Alec hadn't seen that hair style on him in a long time. Magnus had taken to wearing his hair spiked up recently.

He looked really good. Alec had left the other man's loft before he had dressed. Their almost fight had made him leave earlier than he'd planned. Most days how Magnus looked would have turned him on, but just then it made Alec a bit sad.

"Oh, we should call him," Izzy exclaimed. She reach for her cellphone lying next to her plate to give Magnus a ring.

Alec panicked and reached over to slam his hand on top of Izzy's. Her phone and appendage were knocked flat to the surface of their table.

"No," he said forcefully, his eyes wide and exhaling fast.

Izzy yelped and both she and Jace jerked in surprise.

Alec glanced back out of the window intently and, when he saw that Magnus had passed down the street without noticing them in the bistro, he let out a relieved breath.

"What the hell, big brother?"

"Yeah, man, what the hell?" Jace echoed.

Both his siblings looked a bit annoyed but mainly seemed confused.

Alec sighed and slowly removed his hand from Izzy's, leaning back into his seat.

"I guess this is the time to tell you that I also had a fight with Magnus this morning," he said with a frown.

"What?" Izzy nearly yelled. Alec took a quick look around the bistro to see if anyone had heard her and then tried to gesture her to be quieter.

Izzy waved him off. "Don't try to shush me. You just said you and Magnus _fought_. I am entitled to yell." She paused and her eyes grew narrow. "What did you do?"

Alec gave her a look. "Wow, Izzy, automatically it's my fault?"

"Well…" she said with a shrug.

Alec looked over to Jace for backing but the other man was studiously avoiding his gaze, sipping very deliberately at his own fountain soda.

"This is unbelievable," Alec said. "Do you guys just have zero faith in me?"

"Cut the bullshit, _hermano_. Tell us what happened."

Alec threw his hands up but relented. He could admit that some—okay, maybe _most_ —of his and Magnus' fights were his fault. It was his first relationship and there was a learning curve, he had found. He flashed back to their recent argument and internally snorted. Apparently the curve was still active, as that morning had attested.

Alec started slowly. He was trying to choose his words carefully. "When I came back from Idris today, I actually went to his loft first. I wanted to, you know, make breakfast for him and spend some time together. Anyway, Madzie was there, which I wasn't expecting-"

Jace interrupted with, "The little warlock girl? Didn't Magnus find her a home last spring?"

Alec waved a large hand. "He did but it didn't work out. That was her second family. She was on her fifth family this time and apparently they didn't work out either."

"Wow," Jace said. "I had no idea."

Alec continued, "She's been in and out of Magnus' place for a long time now. He's been having a hard time with the Iris victims in general but Madzie has been really difficult to help."

Izzy cut in. "Wait, did you guys fight in front of a little girl?"

Alec's eyes widened. "No! No, Izzy. We would never." He shook his head vehemently. "It wasn't even a fight, per se. More of a calm disagreement."

Alec took a sip of his water to give himself time to think.

"Go on," Izzy said impatiently.

"So, I got to the loft and Madzie was there again but they were both passed out in the living room. The whole room was wrecked from whatever they were doing. So I decided to leave them be and make breakfast for all of us." He waved another hand gesture and decided to wrap things up. "Anyway, we all had breakfast together and I watched Magnus scold Madzie for something she'd done the night before. It was actually pretty difficult to watch. She was crying and everything."

Jace leaned forward. "What did she do?"

Alec lifted his shoulders in a shrug and said, "She basically spelled them to sleep to try and get punished by being sent back to Iris. Ultimately that's what Magnus and I figured out, in any case."

Izzy nodded. "That makes sense. She was really attached to her gran last time I saw her."

"That doesn't really matter right now," he said. "The point is that after she left to get ready for the day, the whole morning made me realize something so I confronted Magnus about it and…" He trailed off, turning his words over in his mind.

Jace and Izzy waited.

Alec met their eyes tentatively, moving back and forth between the two before he just got on with it. "It made me realize that Magnus wanted to keep her. I- I mean, he wants to adopt Madzie. Permanently."

Alec stopped there, barely breathing. He didn't know what he wanted them to say. That he was right to be angry? That he was way out of line? He kind of felt like both were true and yet neither were. Either way, he hoped that talking to Jace and Izzy could lend him some clarity.

Izzy looked a bit confused and Jace had his head tilted to the side.

She frowned and said, "So…you had a fight because he wants to adopt Madzie with you but you don't?"

Alec shook his head a little. "No, he doesn't want _us_ to adopt her, he wants to adopt her himself."

Izzy licked her lips. "Okay," she drawled.

Alec grew a little frustrated at that. "I just can't believe he sprung this on me. He's been thinking about this for weeks and he never said anything. He just expects me to be okay with suddenly him having a kid."

The corner of Izzy's mouth curled back. "Alec, that doesn't seem fair. You just said you were the one who realized today and talked to him about it. Maybe he hadn't worked up to talking to you yet."

Jace defended him and turned to Izzy, "Maybe. But I can see why Alec's mad. It's a lot."

Izzy kept going, "Yeah, and he also said that Magnus has been having a hard time lately with finding Madzie a family." She turned to Alec. "It doesn't seem like this was easy for him either. He's clearly been working to find a different solution. Maybe this is his last resort. You should take some time to think it over more. If it's just about him not telling you, you probably just caught him up before he could."

Alec growled. "It's not just that, Izzy. I- How do I say this?" he thought out loud. He remembered that morning and how he'd felt sitting in Magnus' kitchen, holding his hand after they'd talked. He felt his pulse speed up and his throat tighten.

"I don't know if I want to date a single father. I'm not ready for that kind of responsibility," he said quietly.

Jace spoke then. "But you said he was adopting her alone."

"Yeah, well, she's still going to be a part of our lives. I can't just date him and pretend she doesn't exist. She'll be right there."

Jace nodded. "True."

Izzy was drinking from her juice bottle while she contemplated everything. She pulled her lips from her straw and picked up the conversation. "Well, you're very good with kids, Alec. Just look at Max or the other fosterlings we get sometimes. Hell, even Madzie back when we first met her. I don't think you have to worry about much when it comes to that."

Alec gave a sardonic laugh. "That's easy to say now. What about in ten years when she's an angry teen with magic spilling from her every pour, bitter because I didn't know what the hell I was doing when she was younger and I messed up her life?"

He looked away and out of the bistro window at the mundanes going about their day. The street had cleared of pedestrians a bit and he looked up to see clouds rolling in. It was about to rain.

Izzy laid a hand on his as it rested on the tabletop and pulled his attention back to her. She told him, "Alec, you don't have to worry. You're not mom and dad. Neither is Magnus. You don't have to be afraid that you'll make their mistakes."

It was then that Alec finally understood that that had been an issue for him. The concept had poked at the edges of his thoughts even as he had focused on other concerns he had with the situation. Trust Izzy to understand his mind when he didn't really.

He loved his parents as he loved all of his family but it was only recently that he'd started coming to terms with the fact that they had hurt him so much. Every layer of pressure to be perfect, every expectant comment that he do his duty, and every time they had pushed so hard for him to sacrifice his true self to serve the family name. Alec remembered the pain he had felt when he'd discovered their hypocritical lies about the Circle. Even the way they had raised him to fear and misjudge downworlders felt like a kind of betrayal.

Jace gave a small smile and added his hand to Izzy's. "Especially not when you know what they've done wrong and can do better." Jace laughed then, dark and sharper than Alec was expecting. "Besides, take this from someone with the world record in number of shitty parents, you and Magnus are not that. It's not in you."

He took a look at his siblings and remembered all the times his mother had derided Izzy for her clothes and her lovers. Then he thought about when Jace was taken by Valentine and their father had been completely AWOL while their mother had been hunting Jace with Aldertree. He thought about how their parents' fighting and abandonment of Jace had led directly to Max's wildly inappropriate outbursts at his Rune Party.

 _They even treat each other like shit_ , he thought unkindly. Alec thought about how, for all he knew, Robert was currently off with the woman he had cheated on Maryse with.

Alec inhaled a deep breath and laid his right hand over Izzy's and Jace's hands still resting on top of his left one, closing the loop between the three siblings.

 _No, I'm not my parents…or Jace and Clary's parents, and neither is Magnus,_ he said to himself.

Talking with Izzy and Jace hadn't completely cleared up Alec's worries, and he was still kind of angry at Magnus in a few ways, but he was feeling better. Calmer.

He didn't want his relationship to end up like his parents' marriage: bitter and resentful, cutting each other with cold silences and sharpened glares. So he made a resolution to not leave things too long with Magnus. Alec would try to see him tonight and finish their morning conversation. He wouldn't let his anger stretch out until it became a chasm between them too large to cross over.

Even though he wasn't sure about his feelings about Madzie, he knew one thing: Magnus meant more to him than anything. More than his anger and more than his fear. Alec didn't want to let him go.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: New chapter's up! Leave me comments, loves! :)

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Chapter 6

Magnus poured himself a drink and sighed. There was a soft clink as a large ball of ice knocked against the side of his glass of whiskey, which gently rocked in Magnus' hand as he glided towards the open balcony doors. The accompanying bottle swung by his leg in his left hand. Usually he preferred his whiskey neat, but tonight he was feeling the urge for something cold and biting.

The autumn rain that had fallen earlier that day had finally let up an hour or so before. The night air felt chillier as a result, and the world outside felt wet and a touch miserable. He had spelled his balcony to deflect water so his seating area was still dry. In the right corner, his white hydrangeas swayed in a slight breeze.

He settled onto the black, wicker couch he had placed outside, set the opened bottle on the table beside him, and wrapped the thick, button down sweater he wore more securely around his body.

Though he still wore his makeup and pompadour, he had changed from the three-piece suit of his work day to black cotton pants, a long-sleeved red t-shirt…and the sweater. Alec's sweater. It had been left in the loft after the man had run out that morning following their…disagreement.

Magnus easily could have warmed the area with his magic, but he had elected not to and had worn the black-gone-gray, ragged cable knit item instead. Even though it stretched tight around his shoulders—he had a thicker and wider torso than Alec—Magnus buried himself in the garment and surrounded himself with the other man's aroma.

Alec's sweater smelled rich and oaky, deep and full like a dark forest filled with the quiet wonder of fecund life. Magnus inhaled a long breath and then took a sip from his glass. He rolled the whiskey over his tongue, closed his eyes, and focused on what his other senses were experiencing: the sting of the fall wind on his skin, the bite of his drink on his palate, the sound of New York winding down for the night, and the scent of Alec filling his lungs.

It was peaceful.

More peaceful than his day had been, to be sure. While his talk with Catarina had helped in many ways, in others it had made him more anxious. She had forced him to confront a hard truth: he was willing to sacrifice his own happiness to preserve Madzie's. Though it would freeze his heart in his chest, he would let Alec go if the man no longer wanted him. He'd had centuries of heartbreak as practice for surviving this one, but a quiet, tiny voice in the back of his mind screamed at him that Alec leaving him would destroy him utterly.

Magnus' hand shook slightly as he raised his glass to his lips again. So be it.

Before he could take another sip, however, his doorbell rang. His wards hadn't shivered nor had his doorman rung up a warning, so whomever it was either had a standing order to be let pass or was more powerful than he and had slipped through. He rubbed a finger lightly at the corner of his mouth as an arrogant smirk stretched over his lips. _Doubtful_ , he thought with a bit of preening.

It wasn't Alec. He had long since given Alec a key and a welcome to always let himself in.

He also knew it wasn't Clary or Jace as those two would have simply barged in, headless of any semblance of decorum. Magnus wasn't really up for company, truth be told, and he most definitely wasn't up for shadowhunter shenanigans either. He prayed to every god he knew that he would be spared that tonight.

Magnus set his glass down on the round table beside him and rose from his seat. His silk house slippers whispered softly against his loft floor as he walked.

"Coming," he called out as he swung open his door and shaped his face into a politely annoyed scowl.

"Magnus…"

Magnus stood frozen in his place, his scowl instantly softening into a soft smile at the sight of his unexpected guest. It was Raphael. Definitely not the person he had expected to be there but welcome all the same.

Raphael looked a bit nervous. He held his body rigidly, shoulders back and arms straight down his sides as he entered through Magnus' loft door. It was more awkward than his usual casual swagger. He wore a fine, silk suit colored a dark burgundy over a black button down shirt. His hair was pleasingly coiffed, Magnus noted absently, and the pallor of his vampire nature provided a lovely contrast to the dark colors.

"Raphael, I was not expecting you this evening. You didn't even send a text."

"Yeah, well…it was a sudden decision."

Magnus gestured into his living room and Raphael followed him deeper into the loft.

"Are you hungry? I have some blood in the fridge. I could make you something."

"It's alright, I'll have something when I get back to the Dumort."

Magnus gasped and whipped his head around. "You haven't eaten at all tonight? Sit down, this will only take a second."

Magnus hurried over to his drinks station and began pulling open cabinets to find the ingredients he needed.

Magnus considered his alcohol options. "What do you think goes best with a cherry liqueur, bovine or equine?"

Over the counter of the drinks station, Magnus saw Raphael scowl a bit as he examined a wall of photographs and paintings on the far left of the room.

"I can honestly say I have never asked that question in my entire un-life, Magnus. I can just drink plain blood; you don't need to make everything into one of your overdone cocktails."

Raphael leaned in closer to a few hung frames as if it was his first time seeing them despite the fact that he had been in Magnus' loft and seen those exact pictures a hundred times before.

Raphael was fidgeting, or rather he was doing the Raphael equivalent of fidgeting. Magnus narrowed his eyes and decided to definitely add liquor. Maybe it would loosen Raphael up.

"Rude. Everyone loves my drinks."

Raphael turned to raise an eyebrow. "Everyone?"

Magnus rolled his eyes and said, "Well…except possibly Alec, but no matter about that, because I will find a drink for him soon enough."

As he spoke, he set to mixing up a Red Russian, intending on replacing the usual cranberry juice with blood.

"I think bovine would go well. I just got in a new batch of J-Positive a week ago. The broker assures me it was well oxygenated."

He summoned a chilled bag of blood from his plasma fridge and added some of it to his vampire mixer—both bag and mixer were spelled to prevent coagulation and encourage preservation. He went heavy on the blood since Raphael had said he hadn't eaten yet. He saved the rest of the blood and returned it to storage.

Magnus shook the mixer thoroughly and poured the finished drink into a glass. He forwent the ice as he didn't want the blood to dilute any further than it already would with the alcohol. Then he garnished the drink with a lemon wedge and moved towards his wayward, semi-adopted son with the glass outstretched and the mixer still in his other hand.

"Here you are. One Blood Russian," he said with a cheeky smile. "I was out on the balcony before you came. Shall we talk there?"

Raphael took the offered drink and followed Magnus out into the chilly, evening air.

Magnus wrapped the sweater he wore around him and sat on the wicker couch again, setting the vampire mixer next to his bottle of whiskey and taking up his own glass again. He sipped at his drink slowly and waited for Raphael to speak.

Raphael leaned back against the brick railing of Magnus' balcony drinking his own drink. Magnus noted that the vampire didn't grimace, so he counted the cocktail as a win and made a note to remember the mix for future vampire guests.

"I talked with Cat today," Raphael started.

"Did you? I saw her a few hours ago myself. We had lunch."

Raphael nodded but did not comment on that.

"Did she tell you about Manu?" Magnus asked, trying to keep the conversation going as Raphael faltered.

Raphael nodded again and his mouth stayed shut.

Magnus grew a tad impatient. "Raphael, I have to confess, I don't know why you've come here. You've barely said anything at all."

Raphael sighed and swigged more of his Blood Russian, turning out to face the city lights across the river.

Despite the noise of traffic from below, Raphael's voice was clear to Magnus as he spoke. "I talked to Cat today and she told me I was being selfish."

Magnus paused. "Selfish?" he asked tentatively.

"She was right."

He at least was talking now so Magnus let Raphael speak without interruptions, though he was even more confused than before. He poured more whiskey into his glass and kept drinking.

Raphael shifted and turned sideways to look at him. "Last week when I got angry over Clary and yelled at you, I shouldn't have done that." He looked down at his glass and said, "And during Valentine's attack, I shouldn't have had my vampires restrain you either, that was…rude."

"Rude?" Magnus queried with slightly mocking lilt. He could admit to himself that he was still bitter about that incident. He had never had a child of his actually restrain his magic like that before. It had not been an experience he had ever thought he would have, especially not done by Raphael.

Raphael flinched, avoiding Magnus' eyes. His head dipped in acquiescence and he added, "It was…the height of offensive. I shamed myself." His voice was pained at that last, vocal chords straining in his throat as he struggled to articulate.

Magnus held his breath.

Raphael was not one to express his emotions so openly. Not these kinds of emotions, at least. He was not repressed so much as reserved. He had needed to become an adult far earlier than any child should, even before he had been a vampire. He had trained himself, even as early as his teens, to cover his pain or fear with faultless bravado and unflinching intimidation. He had a core of iron in him. It was what made him such a formidable leader.

 _Though sometimes it manifests as mulishness_ , Magnus thought.

Still, even that strained voice told Magnus that Raphael was feeling much more than he let on. Magnus had had decades to become familiar with the man's body language, his voice, the look in his eyes when he kept in so much that he could not say.

So Magnus raised his left hand to Raphael, calling him to where he sat on the couch. He said not a word, simply held his hand out for the other to take.

Raphael let out a shaking breath and rushed to grab the offered hand. Magnus pulled the other man down next to him on the couch but carefully did not let go.

"I'm- I'm sorry, Magnus," Raphael said, voice thick and hesitant. He stared straight into Magnus' un-glamoured eyes as he spoke, facing his shame head on. Magnus searched Raphael's face. The other man was worried and a touch afraid.

Magnus smiled. "You're forgiven, Raphael."

Raphael closed his eyes and exhaled but his brow was still furrowed, mouth turned down into a frown. There was more, though Raphael did not speak.

"Say what's on your mind, Rapha," Magnus continued, squeezing the hand in his and resting both on his knee.

Raphael gave a little head shake. "I am sorry for how I handled everything but I'm not really sorry for how I feel about Clary."

It was Magnus' turn to look away. He pulled his hand from Raphael's and reached to pour more from his whiskey bottle.

"This again," he said in frustration.

"Yes, this again," returned Raphael. His voice sounded tight. The mulishness rearing its head again.

Magnus thought about Catarina a few days before. She had told him to think about Raphael's perspective. He bit his lip and studied the condensation on his whiskey glass, rubbing his thumb across the slight moisture.

"Magnus, I don't want to argue more but I will not change my stance on this. I should not have touched your ability to do magic but Meliorn was right. You and Luke are compromised by shadowhunters…and for you it's not just Alec but Clary as well."

Mentioning Isabelle in that moment would have been unconscionably cruel, especially with how it had ended between them recently. He could never be cruel to Raphael, so he kept silent. He listened like Catarina had told him.

Raphael's voice gentled. "It's- I know that Clary is different for you. You watched her grow throughout the years in a way that you'd never done before…"

Magnus caught Raphael's eye. His tone had gone a bit strange. Something Magnus had never heard from him before.

Raphael's jaw clenched. "I came to you as a vampire already and stayed this way until now. From what you and Ragnor have told me, I know that you have not really had children who grew up around you before. Not like Clary did."

Wonder swept over Magnus then. His mouth gaped a little and he swept his eyes over Raphael's entire form, taking in his body language.

"Are you jealous? Of Clary?"

"Don't be absurd," Raphael snapped quickly. "I am simply bringing to your attention your damned bleeding heart."

But Magnus would not be swayed from his discovery and the rigid way Raphael held himself gave proof to the fact. Jealousy. How startling. It was certainly not something Magnus had ever contemplated.

In truth, it was rare for Magnus to have near him more than one downworlder he considered a child, and during the same period of time. Often they were only in his life for short periods, a few months or a couple of years, and then gone about their lives or placed with a more permanent family if they were very young. It was what he had been trying to do with Madzie for so many months.

Sometimes he saw them again, sporadically usually, but sometimes they never returned. His heart still held them close, of course, but he had never been one to cling to someone who needed to grow away from him. Instead, he had tried to find comfort in the fact that they had found fulfilling lives and did not need him anymore.

Raphael was an exception. A child he had met when he was young and newly turned who stayed with him for a time and left, but who remained a constant fixture in his life nonetheless. Magnus had watched over him as the fledgling boy turned into a trusted lieutenant and then into a fearless leader.

Over the decades, Raphael had settled into a mercurial place in Magnus' life, shifting back and forth from child to friend to comrade, and occasionally to rival. Yet always there and always changing. Raphael had spoken like Magnus had never watched him grow up, but Magnus wondered if that was true.

"All the people I take in are unique, Rapha." He placed a hand on Raphael's shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "You say I have only seen Clary 'grow up' but I beg to disagree. I have seen you go from that revenant scrabbling the walls of a blood soaked room, lost and bitter and hurting, to the most powerful vampire clan leader in New York."

Magnus moved his hand to Raphael's cool cheek and rubbed a thumb over his temple. Raphael was paying rapt attention to Magnus, focusing hard on his words.

"Of all the children I have ever taken in, none have grown more before my eyes than you, Raphael."

Raphael froze in front of him with eyes suspiciously bright. He was silent. Magnus gave a gentle smile.

He took Raphael's empty glass and turned away to pour him more from the mixer, giving the vampire time to compose himself. Magnus felt his throat tighten. _Perhaps I needed a moment as well_ , he thought.

By the time Magnus turned back around with Raphael's refilled drink, the vampire had recovered from whatever emotion he was feeling. He had unbuttoned his suit jacket and leaned back to lounge more casually on the wicker couch. He took the glass Magnus handed him and sipped nonchalantly as if the two men had never had the emotionally intimate moment at all.

Magnus crossed his legs and clasped his hands around his raised knee, leaving his empty whiskey glass on the table for now. He studied the Manhattan Bridge and the car lights flitting across it in the distance.

"Catarina said much the same as you, Raphael," he started. "About Clary and my judgement with regards to her. She told me to 'recognize the truth of my heart.' I am not…unaware of my bias. Even without you or Cat or Meliorn reminding me. You are right. Clary is a bit special to me."

He looked at Raphael and the vampire gave a self-satisfied hum. "But you're a little bit off about why, Raphael. You're a bit wrong about that."

Magnus circled his thumbs, brushing against the soft pants he wore. He shook his head a little and took in a slow inhalation.

"I took her childhood away from her, Rapha," he said, voice unsteady. "I stole it from her one memory at a time."

Raphael straightened slowly and watched Magnus carefully.

"When she was little, I would watch her draw and play. She was so vibrant and happy. Sometimes Jocelyn and Luke would leave her with me to babysit when they couldn't find anyone else." Magnus measured his words then, unsure how to articulate what he had done to Clary.

"She would get so scared, Raphael," he whispered. "Every time. I would start the memory spell and Clary would get so frightened, even with Jocelyn or Luke there to comfort her. It never mattered. Her body would get tense and her voice would shake as she begged us not to do it. We always had to tie her down to finish the spell."

Magnus was breathing faster and his hands gripped his knee painfully. Raphael stayed silent.

"I told myself over and over that it was Jocelyn's choice. That though I didn't agree, what we were doing was what their family needed."

"She was her mother, Magnus. It _was_ her decision."

Magnus jerked his head sharply to the left in dismissal. "No, I was trying to absolve myself. I ripped a little girl's mind to shreds, tore out pieces of her life, and stuck them in a demon. And then we lost the memories forever."

He fell silent, remembering meeting Clary again after over a year since her previous memory wipe. She had bumped into him in his club. She had been crying, face crumpled in fear from what he had later learned was her first time seeing a demon kill. The frisson of guilt he had felt when she had bumped him had shaken him to the core. Afterwards, he had only been able to watch in shock as Clary had melted into the crowd of dancing bodies.

The same guilt had made him leave his protective lair and meet with her and Jace about the necklace. He had desired the necklace too, of course. It was a precious memory, after all, but ultimately it had been Clary who had made him agree to the shadowhunters' dangerous meeting, going against his dear Elias' wishes. Then everything had gone completely to hell—quite literally in one way—and he had lost Elias and so many others to the Circle. One child dead because of his choking guilt over another.

Magnus looked over to Raphael, his face heavy with his own shame.

"Clary came to me after Jocelyn died. She wanted to find a way to resurrect her. The only thing I had for her were platitudes about death and a faded memory of a time she can never get back, pulled from my own head."

It was Raphael's turn to give comfort and he squeezed Magnus' shoulder as a return of Magnus' previous gesture.

Magnus rose from his seat and crossed over to his hydrangeas in the corner. He gently held a white flowerhead in his hand. The plants would need to be pruned soon for the winter. Perhaps in three weeks he would set to work. Make it a whole learning experience with Madzie.

"Do you know the meaning of the hydrangea in the language of flowers?" he asked suddenly.

He did not turn around to look but he heard Raphael make a noise to indicate that he did not know. He heard a clink as if Raphael had set his glass on the table.

"Like many things, the meaning changes depending on time and place and color of flower, of course." He stroked a leaf as he spoke then moved to another flowerhead. "For some they mean 'something sincere.' For others they represent a 'deep gratefulness for understanding.' In parts of Asia, a pink hydrangea means 'you are the beat of my heart.' Pretty meanings, yes?"

Magnus turned to Raphael abruptly and smiled viciously. "When I was in London in the 1870s—the time when I met Tessa and grew to love these flowers—the hydrangea represented 'heartlessness.'"

Raphael's face clouded with anger. He stood and strode over to Magnus, grabbing one of his upper arms tight, though still mindful of his vampire strength, and shaking Magnus a little.

"Will you flagellate yourself for all of eternity? Let Clary say and do anything to you to assuage your guilt? That will not help her or the Down World. Shall we all pay the price of your self-castigation?"

Magnus felt shame again. He closed his eyes and crossed his arms, rubbing one bicep with a thumb.

Was he really making others pay for his guilt? He knew that Clary was a weak spot but was he putting others in danger for it? He had thrown Camille to the Clave at the first sign that her reckless actions were threatening Raphael and Simon. Was he just as guilty of that sin?

Raphael's voice softened. "You did as much as you could, Magnus. More than anyone would expect. Try to find forgiveness from Clary, if that helps, but for God's sake, don't ruin yourself in some misguided attempt to do right by her."

"Perhaps you are right." Magnus looked at Raphael with a self-deprecating grin and rubbed Raphael's hand on his arm. He moved away and flopped himself back onto the couch, pouring another glass for Raphael and taking up his whiskey again. "I will think on it."

Raphael jerked sharply on his suit jacket and followed Magnus back to the wicker couch, accepting his refilled glass. "That's all I ask."

Magnus snorted. "No, it's not all you ask. You wanted to kill Clary, Raphael. I haven't forgotten that. I won't countenance Clary dying. Not by your hand or any other. I will work on holding Clary accountable more; in return, you will stop offering up her life as the solution to every problem."

Raphael scoffed and pursed his lips but gave a short nod in agreement. "Fine," he said begrudgingly.

Magnus laughed. "Was that so painful?"

"Only a little," Raphael replied with a grin, vampire teeth flashing.

They were silent for a period, just drinking and watching the city lights, then Raphael made a gesture. It was a slight hesitating movement in his lips as if he were about to speak but was uncertain of whether he should.

" _Mi padre_ …" he started falteringly. "I told you once of him."

"He was not a good man."

The only thing Raphael had told Magnus concerning his father was that he had hit him once back in Raphael's home town of Zacatecas, Mexico. Raphael had very resolutely made sure the man never did such again. As the son of two awful fathers, Magnus had instantly related.

"Yes," Raphael said slowly. "'Not a good man' sums it up."

The vampire twisted his head and pulled at his collar a bit. Magnus watched him steadily and waited for him to continue, which Raphael did soon enough.

"The word 'father' has no meaning for me. It is a dead word written on the face of a dead man." He turned to look at Magnus. "Know that though I have thrown away the word and all but forgotten he who gave me this face, I will never do this to you. You are the father of my heart."

Magnus had no words for Raphael. His heart squeezed tight in his chest and he felt an overwhelming swell of love and affection. He had understood for many decades that Raphael felt grateful to him for his help restoring his faith and keeping his promise to his dear mother, but the other man had never verbalized it.

In all that time, Magnus had known of the gratitude but this was the first time Raphael had referred to him as a type of father. Magnus had felt like Raphael was like a son to him for a long time, of course, and he freely told Raphael about that affection. He had never dared to think Raphael would acknowledge that connection in this way.

Faced with the bold truth of Raphael's bared emotions, Magnus felt an eternal joy.

* * *

It was late when Alec finally made it to Magnus' loft. Nearly 2 in the morning, by his estimation. Jace had logged a demon materialization on Staten Island, so the Lightwood siblings had gone to handle it. He had only managed to take a quick shower before heading to Magnus' and he hoped he didn't still smell of demon ichor.

He used his key as he normally did these days and let himself in.

"Magnus?" he called out as he un-glamoured his weapons, unbuckled their holsters, and rested them near the door.

"Magnus?"

Alec hung up his jacket and moved into the loft. He heard murmurs coming from the living room area.

"On the balcony, Alexander," he heard, then Magnus' voice lowered back to murmurs. Someone was already here.

A laugh filled the loft, low and gravely…and not Magnus' laugh. Alec picked up the pace and hurried through the open balcony doors. The cold made him shiver but he resisted the urge to rub his arms.

He glanced to his left and found Magnus sitting on his patio couch, face thrown back in glee. He had a drink in his hand and his face was slightly flushed, either from the cold, the drink, or the laughter he had just let out.

Magnus still had his hair done up like he'd remembered and his hands were covered in rings. He wore casual clothes though, having clearly changed out of his suit. Also, Alec wasn't certain but he was pretty sure the other man was wearing his sweater.

Beside Magnus sat Raphael. He had his suit jacket off and thrown over the back of the couch. He also had a drink in hand; red, likely blood, and nearly gone from the glass. A plate of lemons, a whiskey bottle, and a large mixer sat next to them both on the small patio table.

Raphael was smiling widely at Magnus when Alec came through the door but he turned at the sight of Alec. His wide smile, one Alec had never seen before, transformed into such a knowing smirk, and Alec wondered if the two had been talking about him.

"Raphael," Alec said neutrally.

He was trying not to sound nasty, given Magnus' presence, but Alec still had a hard time around the vampire. Even though both Isabelle and Magnus had tried multiple times to insist that her addiction problems weren't truly Raphael's fault and that he was a victim as well, Alec struggled to accept it. Every time he saw the man now, all he can remember is walking in on him sucking the blood from his little sister and her looking like death warmed over. He knew in his mind that Aldertree was the real perpetrator, but his heart hadn't quite caught up. Not even all these months later.

"Lightwood," Raphael replied. "Coming in quite late, aren't you? What if Magnus had been asleep?"

Alec bristled. "What are _you_ doing here so late then?" Didn't he have a vampire clan to run?

Magnus made a tutting noise. "Boys, boys…let's not start a war in my home, yes? I just redid this balcony, you know."

Raphael sucked his teeth but relented. Alec felt it was in good form to do the same.

Raphael stood then and set his glass on the small table by the patio couch. He grabbed up his suit jacket and pulled it on.

"Magnus, it's time I got going anyway. Hopefully Simon hasn't burned down the entire Dumort by now."

Magnus set his glass down as well and rose. Alec shuffled awkwardly out of their way as they walked back through the living room to the front door. Alec continued his awkward shuffle nearby, trying not to look so much like he was intruding even though he was clearly hearing everything.

"Call me, alright, Rapha?" Magnus said to him. His boyfriend opened the door for the other man and stepped to the side.

Raphael gave a quick glance back to Alec and then said to Magnus, "Remember what I said, Magnus. I meant every word."

Then Alec watched as Magnus' whole posture changed in a way familiar to Alec though he wasn't sure in what way. His face grew soft and indulgent, then he raised a hand to gently cup Raphael's face.

"I won't, _mijo_. Thank you."

Raphael took hold of the hand on his face, pressed a short kiss to its back, and was gone from the loft without another word.

Magnus closed the door gently, waved a blue covered hand to bring up a ward, and turned to Alec.

Alec was busy thinking. He had come here tonight with a purpose. A plan to talk to Magnus and work out their problems. Or at least talk enough that he healed some of the rift between them. He hadn't expected Raphael to be there, and his presence had slightly thrown Alec off. A recurring theme that day, it seemed, what with Madzie that morning and Raj that afternoon.

All at once Alec realized where he'd seen that soft posture Magnus had sported mere seconds ago. It was the look Magnus got whenever he talked to Madzie.

Alec licked his lips, mouth suddenly dry. Madzie was the reason he was here after all. Or his feelings about Madzie and Magnus, rather. He felt awkward suddenly though and whatever he had been planning to say had disappeared from his mind.

He had never really considered Raphael and Madzie in the same way before. Well, he had known Magnus and Raphael were very close. Magnus' reaction when Alec had punched the vampire out had attested to that. Just then, however, Magnus had called Raphael "son" and the other man had in turn kissed his hand. It had felt like a deeply personal moment, and a part of Alec had felt like he was intruding.

A viciously jealous part of him rose up then but Alec beat it back down and smothered it.

"What was Raphael doing here?" Alright, maybe he hadn't quite smothered it because that had come out far too caustically. Too late, however; the words were already out there.

Magnus gave a confused smile but good-naturedly answered. "Oh, he just came by to talk about some things. Time really got away from us. I didn't realize it was so late."

Alec nodded and licked his lips again, feeling like he was at an impasse.

"I came over to talk too," he managed.

Magnus checked his watch, then yawned. "It's so late, darling. I thought you wouldn't be coming by tonight."

Magnus moved back into the living room. He snapped his fingers to call his magic and made a motion. Alec saw from the window that the drinks outside disappeared. Magnus made another wave and the balcony doors shut.

"What did you wish to talk about, Alexander?" Magnus asked as he dropped down on the living room couch. He adjusted the sweater he was wearing as he settled back.

Alec gingerly sat down next to him. He leaned forward, pressed his elbows onto his spread thighs, and laced his fingers together. Alec stared at the table for a second longer and then spoke, keeping his eyes forward so he wouldn't get too tongue tied looking at Magnus.

"I wanted to talk about this morning…Madzie a- and everything else."

"I thought you would need more time."

"I do. I mean, I still need more time," Alec said. "I just meant that I still don't know what I'm feeling."

"Okay…" From the corner of his eye, he saw Magnus cross his legs.

"I talked to Izzy and Jace about it today. They said a lot of things that made me think."

He felt Magnus rub a hand soothingly over his back. "Do you want to talk about it now?"

Alec instinctively leaned into the touch. Magnus' hand paused, then continued in slow circles.

"Not now," Alec said. "I still need…I'm still processing things. I just came here because I needed…I don't know. I wanted to see you."

Magnus hummed. His legs uncrossed and Alec felt the couch dip as Magnus got closer. Magnus reached his right hand to gently settle on Alec's forearm, leaned his front into Alec's side, and rested his left arm in a V-shape across Alec's back.

Alec felt Magnus lay his cheek onto Alec's shoulder blade, face turned to Alec's spine. When he spoke, Alec could feel the words vibrating across his back.

"I wanted to see you too. I missed you." Magnus' thumb stroked on his forearm softly. Alec reached over to cover the hand with his own and his fingers brushed against the sleeve of the sweater Magnus wore.

"Is this my sweater?"

Magnus nodded against his back.

"Why are you wearing my sweater?"

Magnus paused. "I missed you."

Three words. That's all it took to unmake him.

Alec let out a shuddering breath and snapped his eyes shut, trying to hold on to his heart. It was a losing battle. One he had gladly lost a year before when he had stepped down from his wedding altar and kissed Magnus in front of his entire world.

Alec started to move back against the couch and Magnus unfolded from around him to give him room. Magnus made a move like he was going to scoot away completely but before he could, Alec grabbed his hand again, pulled him back around, and kissed him. Magnus gasped and Alec took the opportunity to deepen the kiss.

Alec started with slow dips of his tongue into Magnus' open mouth, taking his time and tasting the other man. Magnus tasted of whiskey and lemons, sharp and bitter. Alec swiped his tongue deeper into Magnus' mouth, chasing the citrusy flavor.

Magnus groaned deep in his throat and reached a hand up to clutch at Alec's shoulder. He moved his mouth languidly against Alec's; lips sliding, tongue laving, goatee scraping, and teeth gently nibbling. It was a wet and messy kiss, and it was growing more frantic by the second.

Alec turned more fully towards Magnus and wrapped his right arm around Magnus' waist. He slid his other hand up Magnus' arm to his neck, his face, and into his coiffed hair. He was going to ruin the neat strands and he absolutely did not care.

Alec pushed forward and Magnus leaned back, never breaking their kissing, until Magnus was pressed down onto the couch and Alec was stretched over top of him. Alec broke their kiss to trail more kisses across Magnus' high cheek bones, making his way down his face and to his neck. He settled there and covered the area in pecks, pulling aside his borrowed sweater to reach more of Magnus' skin.

"Alec," Magnus moaned. It was the most heavenly sound he had ever heard Magnus make.

 _Raziel_ , he had missed this…missed Magnus. He had seen him just that morning but so much had happened that it hadn't felt like a proper meeting. Not the way they were meant to be. Just like this, heavy and deep and longing.

Alec mouthed over Magnus' Adams Apple, always so distracting, and inhaled a deep breath through his nose. Magnus smelled of Alec and the chill of fall rain. Beneath that was pure Magnus, dark and lustrous. The headiest scent Alec had ever encountered. He could get drunk on that smell; maybe he already was.

Alec growled a little and shifted to settle more completely between Magnus' legs. He pulled his hand up from Magnus' waist to behind his neck and began massaging the older man there. Magnus hummed in appreciation and rubbed his own hands across Alec's back.

Alec moved back up to Magnus' mouth and laid more gentle kisses there. He felt a hand move to his cheek, a thumb rubbing over his eyebrow.

They stayed kissing like that for a while. Alec lost track of time. It could have been minutes or it could have been hours. Alec had no idea nor any inclination to move away to find out.

Eventually, they slowed. Magnus pulled back a half an inch and rubbed his hand through Alec's hair as Alec opened his eyes to look at the beautiful man. They were both breathing heavily but they were still so close together, one breath going back and forth from mouth to mouth.

Alec stared deeply into Magnus golden cat's eyes. They were gorgeous and deadly and vulnerable, all at once. His own eyelids felt heavy and he could barely keep them open.

Magnus smiled and pressed a kiss to Alec's temple. "Let's go to bed," he whispered against Alec's skin. His breath floated across Alec's ear and Alec trembled.

Alec nodded. The moment Magnus had said the words, every ache and pulled muscle from his earlier demon fight made itself known.

The early morning he had made to catch the earliest portal was suddenly coming back to bite him in the ass.

"To sleep?" he asked stubbornly.

Magnus chuckled lightly. "Are you really up for anything else?"

Alec felt his cheeks heat up and he was certain he was blushing fiercely. Still he smiled with Magnus and replied, "Probably not, but I was willing to make an effort, if you were."

Magnus threw his head back then and let out a loud laugh. His arms tightened around Alec and a single leg moved to wrap over Alec's thighs.

"Darling, I would love to rally with you but I think I might actually have to disappoint you."

Alec poked at Magnus' side. "Really, old man? Not even one mildly embarrassing, tired romp?"

Magnus gasped in faux affront. "Old man? How dare you! I am 585 years young, and don't you forget it."

Alec snorted. "Last month you said you were 642."

"Did I?"

"And last year you said you were around for the Fall of Rome which, if my history is correct, was over fifteen hundred years ago."

Magnus huffed. "I don't recall…."

"Sure, Magnus. Play the spotty memory card. Strange how it only happens some of the time, like when your bluff gets called." Alec's smile was threatening to tear his face in two.

Magnus laughed again and kissed him with a loud smack. Alec returned the affection.

Magnus pulled back and brushed a finger over Alec's cheek. "I'll endeavor to be more precise in the future."

Alec rolled his eyes, not believing a word.

"Now come on, Alexander, it's nearly 3:30 am. We really should be going to bed…to _sleep_."

Alec would not admit that he pouted in that moment but later Magnus told him he had made exactly that face.

Magnus unwrapped his limbs from around Alec and pushed up at the other man's shoulders until Alec sat up from on top of him. Magnus rose and held his hand out for Alec to take, leading them both back into his bedroom.

Alec changed into comfortable pajamas as Magnus removed his makeup, hair gel, and accessories. The two settled into Magnus' bed with Alec on his side and Magnus spooning against his back, pressing short and gentle kisses to the back of his neck. Alec had never felt safer or more cherished.

Alec had been nervous on his way over that evening. He'd been unsure how to move forward after that morning. Nothing had truly been settled for him about Madzie, nothing concrete had fallen into place in his heart really. Yet, somehow Alec felt one hundred times better.

Maybe it was that Magnus had missed him or that Alec had been so starved for Magnus too…or maybe it was just being able to joke around after such a tense day. Whatever it had been, Alec hoped the feeling would continue.

If he could keep feeling like this, all of the anxieties Alec had about the future would simply wash away.


End file.
